Do you say 'Shut up' to your kids?

[Spidermama]

Honestly now. Do you? In what circumstances?

I agree with quanglewangle. I try not to, but I have certainly said it on a number of occasions. Don't beat yourself up about it spidermama

With 5 kids it would be a miracle no to say 'Shut Up' once in a while! It's usually bed time when I have been up and down the stairs a thousand times, settled down to b/f ds1 so cover his ears while shoutin 'I have had enough will you just shut up and go to sleep'
I don't beat myself up over it, there are a lot worse things I could say to the kids but I save them for dh

oh god spidey don't beat yourself up about THAT. I can't see how you woudn't be extremely stressed there, tbh

I always remember having to get home very urgently for a long, complex, protracted reason. And dd, absolutely refused to go in her pushchair. I had done my back in and couldn't put her in the sling as she wanted. She screamed and screamed and I had to strap her in against her will. And then double strap her because she kept undoing the straps and trying to climb out. So it ended with me shouting and crying at this-dunno-14 month old?

And then the proprieter of the local sling and washable nappies and generally lentil weaving shhh parenting shop in which I honestly deserve shares walks by with her 2 kids. Now usually she'd have said hi. NOT today, oh no, walked on RIGHT past, no eye contact. I don't think she was impressed....

SHUT UP FGS the lot of you

I say it far more than I should.

It makes me laugh to read mothers of 11 month old children saying with horror that they would never say shut up to their child. I should hope not! When my ds1 was 11 months old, I had done nothing but indulge him and love him and be totally enthralled by him. Now he is approaching 11 years and there are 3 siblings in the mix, of course I have used shut up, frequently.

I am so pleased to see hmc stick up for the term. You are so right hmc! It is blunt certainly and it is plain, obviously, but I cannot see it as rude. Oh and to the poster who said you would never say shut up to your friends or colleagues, I have news for you! It can be done without losing the respect and love of your friends and colleagues, as long as it is said in the right way and they know you for the person you are.

no, stoll ont imagine yself in 3 years time saying it.

SIL doesnt to her 12 yr old

I can't stand pussy footing around. I would say it to pretty much anyone I was comfortable with.

Can I just say though, I can control myself when needed. In years of teaching, I only once said shut up by mistake to a class of children. The all gasped and whispered about it and I was fearful some parent would complain but nothing came of it. Anyway, that was a once and only time out of years of teaching.

"i want to give my son the best childhood so that when hes all grown up he will look back at the memories and remember all he good times and not any bad."

Ah, well that's the difference between you and the rest of us, heya. You see, we want to give our children really crap childhoods

Apologies for teasing. I am sure we can all see where you are coming from, especially with the childhood you had yourself. Also I remember when I was pregnant I could hear the (terribly naice, middle class) mother next door speaking tetchily to her (adorable toddler) and once shouting "What is it? WHAT IS THE MATTER?" when she was crying. I was horrified and honestly thought there was something wrong with her.

for my idealism and for my utter failure to do better than her

I tend to say "stop it". but in italian. I come from a very loud family, melodrama has always been an important part of our life. And I'm following the same pattern. Loud laughters, easy tears, noisy kisses and the (ok, not so very) odd "bastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa". Luckily dh is much calmer than me.

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err crayon, not all are mothers of boys, i have three daughters.

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I have only said it once and I felt sooooo guilty, I haven't done it since.

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have been known to tell DD1 to be quiet or stop crying before now don't know about "shut up" though

DD2 is only 13 months so still at the lovely "not hit 2 and get an attitude stage"

I'm sure once they are a bit older they will push me too far and be told to shut up then I'll feel all guilty and take them to McDonalds

Right enough around here it's usually f off or shut the f up that's being yelled at to 2 year olds.

Sometimes the language at M&T's can be a bit colourful, DD1 told eme to put arse cream on DD2's bum the other day, she's picked that up from M&T I don't swear in front of the DDs now that DD1 has turned into a parrot.

It's a funny thing, innit.

I would swear jokily to friends but I would never say shut up.

Yes, I have. When pushed. Don't think there's anything especially wrong with the phrase, it's the aggression that's conveyed when I use it which is the problem.

What's "Shut up" in some other languages so I can say that instead and feel better?

lol at "arse cream"

I've never said it to ds. Well, I've never said it to anyone. Polite and repressed to the last, me.

Though all this finding other ways round things, remaining calm and speaking respectfully, all wasted, they go to school and come back one day, ask you a question, then when you're replying say loudly "oh, shut UP mum". Ditto never smacking, ds embarrassed me totally on the way to school one day by telling me "Carry on like that and you'll get a smack!"

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

No and I don't swear but the youngest learnt shut up from their teenage siblings. it's not a big deal. I just say I don't like it.

Tinker you can say "stai zitto" or "basta"

Like basta Thank you franca

Yes, I do. I'm so sorry about it, especially when they say shut up to each other. But I get terribly exasperated, especially when I'm driving, trying to concentrate & the dc are shrieking in the back. I say other swear words like bloody hell & sh*t. Mea culpa.

Tinker - do you want your children shouting Basta instead? Perhaps not?