Do you say 'Shut up' to your kids?

[Spidermama]

Honestly now. Do you? In what circumstances?

She can just pretend she was shouting pasta

Ha ha serves me right for being sanctimonious last night - DD3 was driving me to the verge of insanity this morning and I ended up saying in a madwoman's voice - will you STOP IT FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
DD1 sniggered - she must have heard the word at school because she has never heard ME use it before

just shouted 'will you shut up and go to sleep ' up the stairs to my DS who is 18 mnths and now feel awful

Out of interest, if you don't think it's rude how would you feel if you heard a teacher or another parent saying it to your child?

I do think it's rude and I have said it to my dc's but I always regret it. Children learn by example and I don't want mine to tell eachother or anyone else to shut up. DS2 has said it to the others a few times and it's always after I've said it

Don't beat yourself up Spidermama you always seem like a very admirable mum. We all lose it sometimes don't we? I find it's quite often when one of them is hurt or I feel out of control generally that I lash out.

I have a problem with swearing, my own that is... Most of the time I try to convince myself that it doesnt matter because we live abroad so most people wouldn't understand if they heard DD1 saying f*ck or whatever, However i do try to stop being a bad example about a month before each trip to the UK so she's 'clean' by time we're packing to go....

I hate it but I have reached a huge stressful point and its slipped out by accident and of course has now been repeated to my shame every time I hear him say it (which I am now trying to stop!!) I usually say quietly please or shush now or stop shouting etc. I think its not until you hear a small child say it you realise jsut how rude it sounds. Thing is its one of those things that has happened and I can't undo it however much I wish I could!!!!

English as a second language alert:
Out of interest what do teachers say to the children when they are noisy? Would "be quiet" more accetable than "shut up"?

thanks. this language as real complicated semantics

has!

I tell my kids to "dry up" ........."oh do dry up", which essentially means the same thing

Does anyone use the "get out of my sight". I hated that one when i was little

have just noticed greenys

"I think we get the children we deserve "

greeny you have gone Too Far

no we don't get the children we deserve

surely that was said in jest?

pmsl ssd

I dunno but I think greeny should justify it

what are you implying about me, greeny?

In that ideal rosy tinted parenting world that I would like to live in I wouldn't say shut up. Unfortunetly reality tends to get in the way of that one and though I do try hard to say "please be quiet" in that tone of voice that my children know means business and stop talking right away, "shut up" has been known to slip out occasionally.

The most memorable one was whilst 7 months pregnant on the hottest day on record. I didn't just say it but screeched it at DD so loudly that I hurt my throat. Then to my horror I was movement from the other side of the hedge. The whole shameful episode was witnessed by my neighbour who is school sectretary at the school my DD was due to start two weeks later.

Spidermama, I have only ever had to deal with DH and his low blood sugar, which is bad enough. Having to deal with a child having a hypo plus 3 other children must be incredibly stressful and I think shut up was pretty good going in the circumstance.

I have just explained to my children about peas and grapefruit and will forever more be heard shrieking "peasized", thank you FMV !

we don't say shut up or swear in front of the children and the advantage is that the teenagers don't tell us to shut up and never swear at us, BUT, occasionally i lose it and say some unsavoury things and i still get told "i hate you mummy"etc,etc.

don't you think it's a lesson that children have to learn - that people get upset and shout/say cruel things sometimes ?

as long as it's not part of everyday life i don't suppose it matters

The reason people don't like it is not because of its directness, it's because when a kid says it, it sounds common.

Sorry, but there it is. And of course if you say it regularly, your kid will say it. (I also ban use of the word stupid as well)

Having said that, I do say it when I'm in meltdown mode (usually more than once - "shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up..." ad nauseum and the kids know I'm in meltdown mode. They also tell me off about it. And DD shouts back "No you shut up!"

I like the pea/ grapfruit thing as well, will be using it.

Beacause when a kid says it it sounds common?? Not sure I follow that one, Caligula.

IT isn't liked because it is aggressive, disrespectful, and dismissive. Being told to shut up as an adult would be really horrible.

I meant my own kids Fonk

it was a JOKE ffs

pmsl geeves

I can't think of the last time someone told me to shut up, apart from my mother. And yes it is very dismissive. (And common! )

Whenever anyone says it to me nowadays, it's either in an ironic Vicky Pollard way, or it's an emphatic usage when we're discussing something. I'll say "Hugh Grant looks a real decrepit old gimmer nowadays" and someone else will say "Shut up! He's gorgeous".

Shut up is more of a "you're so wrong" comment, rather than "please be quiet".

(Wish I could think of a more intellectual example, but hey ho.)

i wouldn't dare say shut up to you caligula, not after what you were doing to your grandmother on tv last night