Do you say 'Shut up' to your kids?

[Spidermama]

Honestly now. Do you? In what circumstances?

No never - I hate it. And I get really wound up if either of the DCs say it either!

What is wrong with a hissed 'be QUIET'?

Hardly ever, but if I'm really stressed out, and they've been bugging me for ages, it has happened. Maybe 3 or 4 times. I really try hard to stick to 'be quiet'. Shouting, now, I do much more regularly.

Unfortunately, yes.

Usually when I'm tired/stressed I'm ashamed to admit.

I did once and felt so guilty afterwards I chant "Quiet, now" as a mantra to stop it happening again!

no - don't like it but it may have slipped past my lips when stressed I guess.

yup. But only to dd who's 11 mths ... and in a light tone. Must stop soon. To ds (3, constant stream of verbal dribble) I say 'please could you be quiet now, mummy is trying to reverse park/talk on the phone/listen to the sound of slience etc' When I start parking ds now says 'shall I be quiet mummy?'

no not yet anyway I do use oh shush a lot though.

Honestly, yes. Usually weakly pleaded at about 5.45 pm.

I do hate it, I hate saying it, I know a strong "Please don't make that noise so loudly, or go and do it in your bedroom" is so so so much better, effective and respectful, but when I am at the end of my tether I have been known to slap my hands over my ears as wail "Christ kid, shut up!"

But I know it's not good.

yes all the time

I really don't think I say it.

i hope i never say it to dd even though i think it will one day fall out of my mouth.

i can't say it to other people's kids so i hope i never say it to mine.

No, never but I'm a Nanny!

I do however remember my Mum screaming at us to "SHUT UP" on a regular basis & I've heard my Boss say it too!

No..well I try really hard not to actually say 'shut up'.

I do say, 'please will you stop talking' or 'I want you to be quiet cos I need to think/drive the car/concentrate' or whatever. Sometimes I'll say that quite er..forcefully

They take no notice though. Then I start muttering about shutting up. Mine frequently all start chattering and requesting things all at once at me. It drives me nuts.

Idiot and Stupid are worse than Bugger and Bollocks in this house, I really really really hate them.

no.

I sometimes say, look dd mummy needs some peace and quiet now. Which is more or less the same thing I suppose.

She once came to me and told me she needed some peace and quiet!

Only when v.v.angry or stressed, but I usually apologise afterwards.

I more often say "Just stop a minute."!

No - DS1 is only 3.6 and has picked it up at preschool (blame someone elses parents ). It sounds so awful coming out of a little one's mouths that I would never say it to him.
All though I feel like saying it every day .

I was caught saying it to my 24 month old in the playground yesterday by another mum and felt embarrassed.

I was getting ready to take home my four and another kid. My ds4 had escaped and had to be retrieved from the basement of the school. DS2 lay down on the ground and needed an urgent blood test (he's diabetic) so I had to strap ds4 in to the pushchair against his will and he went bananas shouting 'Det OUT! DET OUT!'

Whilst I struggled with the blood testing sticks and the monitor, ds3 started wandering off. I turned to ds4 and snapped, 'Shut Up!' just as a mum was walking by. She looked at me like with disgust and I felt pretty bad.

Sadly, all the way home, ds4 (who's only just turned two) was chnating BUH BUP! BUH BUP!

Another parenting low.

Only when pushed to the limit.

Although it's usually "shut it"- sure that's no better...

oh Spidermama, I've so been there...{{hug}}

I can go months and months being endlessly positive parentingy and patient and then I will just SNAP!! (and it's always somewhere inappropriate....)

I have explained to my boys that mummy's patience grows and shrinks from a pea to a grapefruit depending on how tired she is, how annoying they are and how close she is to a nice cup of tea and a sit down...if I feel the mist rising I am heard to say (somewhat shrilly) ''the patience is pea-sized, pea-sized! and the kids usually back off/calm down/flee the vicinity...

Oh Spider don't beat yourself up. Isn't it always the way that the worst moments in parenting are witnessed by some imperious passer-by.

I reasoned and explained a million times to ds that he must not walk backwards and dawdle about in front of people cos he nearly trips everyone up.

He did it AGAIN the other day in front of a woman with a pushchair and I finally blew up at him in the street (unusual for me do be too public, but there you go) just as one of the more organised, calm, mild mannered mums happened to be walking byeyebrows raised.