Do you say 'Shut up' to your kids?

[Spidermama]

Honestly now. Do you? In what circumstances?

Thanks FMV.

Yes. Usually when I've reached the end of my tether and ds1 and ds2 are both screaming so loudly at the same time that only a bellow of SHUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUP will snap them out of it.

Typical TG.

SM

That sounds like a horrendously stressful situation. Five children to deal with, one needing a blood sugar test anoher wondering around and one tantrumming. Im my opinion if all you said was 'shut up' you are doing very well. I know you don't feel like that (cos from what I've ssen of your posts you are a fantastic mum) but don't feel too bad. As for the passing mum she could have offered to help insteasd of offering judgement. It would have been obvious how harrassed you were.

I shouted at my Ds1 in the supermarket (he was hitting his younger brother) looked up and the particularly calm, patient pre-school teacher was there, looking really disapproving...tried to explain, but felt awful for rest of the day.

Tis always the way!

You always get caught saying things you normally wouldn't!

One day I was very PMT'd & also under the weather & I shouted at my 3yo charge to "GET OUT OF MY BLOODY SIGHT" when Dad walked in!

I felt awful though he laughed about it as has never heard me swear in almost 3 years!

I try not to! Generally i just tell them to shush. Dp does tell them to shut up on occassion to which ds (3) always says daddy thats a naughty word! Stupid is also a naughty word in our house and so would idiot be but ive never heard them say it.
Am not impressed by the pg tips advert where the monkey says stupid boy at the end, ds likes the monkey and keeps telling people the monkey says stupid boy and then giggling about it. Its not a funny monkey its a very naughty monkey.

shut it. shut yer gob, put a sock in it. shut yer cakehole, jesus h christ do you ever shut up? bovvered? you mistake me for the parent that gives a shit.

No. I have taught the DS's that it's a rude and up there with swearing.

For me, if it's rude for an adult to say it to a stranger, then it's definitely rude for my kids to say it.

Yes, sometimes.
When my halo slips for a moment in my home-educating, self-employed world, and everyone starts to shout louder and louder in order to get my attention.
I never said it when they were very young though - it was easier then, as they were at school or nursery, so my patience didn't have to stretch so far or so long!

Spidermama, I would have done exactly the same in the circumstances you described - you were in a highly stressful situation.

shock horror, it is an unforgiveable word in our house, and yes i have been known to say it! oh the trauma - it has slipped out as has an occasional sweary word..omg.. but i really hate it.

Strangley I didn't feel bad about saying it at the time, but I felt bad at being caught. Then I felt really bad when ds 4 shouted BU BUP! at anyone who met his eye on the way home. Very embarrassing.

Ditto Dejags post. I think it is rude to say it to anyone.

wasnt thre recently a chileren's tv programme called "stupid" or something - now that is really stooopid

Have to admit I really lost the plot about 6 months ago and shouting at DD (3)

Will you fecking shut up..

And she said...

Mummy we don't say shut up do we, its naughty...

Obviously ok to say fecking though!

That was really hard to admit I said that to here... I was so ashamed, I rarely swear but I was so cross (can't even remember why now)..

I was so worried that she would copy me, but I guess as she hadn't heard it before or since, didn't register..

But on the whole - we do not say Shup up in this house!....

I have done but not for ages If ds persisted in going on and on I probably would but it would all depend on how I was feeling stress wise.I do think it sounds awful when I hear it but we are all under pressure at tomes and 4 kids one neediing an injection sounds stressed to me!

I think I am going to start saying bup up instead I like the sound of that better!

Yes, I do, though hate it. They always tell me off when I do, as well, as no-one in the house is allowed to say it.

That's one thing I never say, as it's something I hate being said to me. I feel very hurt when anyone as said this to me, I do shout "Could you please be quiet for a while", but will not say "shut up".

Reading this thread just made me feel a whole lot better.
Thank god it's not just me.
I hate shut up and was one of those, "I'll never say shut up to my kids. But I do. Only just recently tho.
LOL Fithymindedvixen. That's good. I would rather be shouting pea-sized than Shut up. I really hate it, and it sounds awful when you hear it esp being said to a child, but I can't seem to help it.
Heifer, I said that to my 3 yo dd1 the other day. If she thinks I'm getting cross she starts getting louder and louder and talks non stop to try to tell me she's not being naughty and not to be cross, which just makes it harder for me to get her to listen and I see red. And I scream at volume to be heard over her babble.

I think it's awful, but I have done, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't. I do really really try not to though. I think most people let it slip out occasionally.

Mind you, I met a woman in a soft play place once who said that anyone who claimed never to have smacked their child was a liar. Everyone does it, apparently

We say 'shut it' in a jokey way, imitating Regan in 'The Sweeney' (if you're old enough to remember, lol).

Don't use shut up.

No.

DH and I used to jokingly say it to each other, then DD1 started using it, so we had to cut it out.

Yes I have done. Try to avoid it in public as I hate seeing people who clearly say it to their DC all the time, but have been known to hiss it at him under extreme provocation.

SM - I don't think I have ever been under that extreme pressure, so if that was the worst you said you need a halo!