sharing pictures of children online (not a mother)

[user1481460461]

Hello all,

I am new to Mumsnet (don't have children myself, but was aware of the website before) and not sure I am posting in the right thread.
Basically, my brother is divorced and his children (2 and 3.5) were awarded by the court to his ex (who has so many issues that the court decision came as complete shock to us). He has contact once a week and I am often helping him to look after the children when he has them.
I am very proud of my nephews, despite the conflict we have with their mother, and my social networks' picture and video feed is 50% dedicated to them (and another 50% to my hobby, which I am passionate about). Normal videos like playing with toys, nursery rhymes etc, nothing questionable, all comments from my friends and relatives are also very positive and loving.
I received a barrage of messages from the mother last week asking me to remove the pictures and videos under the threat of contacting the administration, police etc. I ignored it at first, but then I thought to consult with the hive mind. Am I breaking any criminal or moral law here? The father gave me full permission to share online whatever I think is appropriate.

Thank you all xxx

I am on the laxer end of the scale when it comes to pictures of my children online, in that I probably put one or two pics up every month on Facebook and I wouldn't mind if a friend or family member put up pictures every so often. However I think if someone, even a relative, was putting up a stream of videos of my children constantly (you say it's about half of your feed so I assume that's quite a lot?) I would not be very happy. Because I don't know who your friends are who are seeing and commenting on my children. And maybe you have settings set to friends of friends, which is even worse. Those are my thoughts anyway, regardless of the legalities, which I do not know.

If the mother doesn't want pictures or videos of her children on the internet then I think you should respect that.

A parent has a right to request their kids not appear on social media. As you are neither of their parents you ought to respect that decision.

Ah xpost

Is there a reason he needs your help to look after his own children on the one day a week he does have them?

Is he incapable?

Not your kids. Not your decision whether they should be plastered all over social media.

Thank you. My profile is public, as my hobby is public. Do you think it is more appropriate to split the feed into two accounts?
The mother does not share anything about the children on social networks - no photos, birthdays, funny moments, not even the fact they exist at all!... I just feel that the wider family and friends do have a right (not a legal right, but a moral prerogative) not to be kept in the dark about the children's lives, and quite honestly everyone does it, it is quite unlikely that someone will watch these videos with bad intentions... but maybe I am wrong, therefore wanted an opinion from someone who is a parent.

I'd be extremely unhappy with what you describe. I'm not on Facebook because if this kind of thing. She values her children's privacy you should respect that. Also is it possible the side of the story you get from your brother isn't the 100% truth, hence the court decision?

Your profile is public?! I would be absolutely furious then, if that is the case.

She doesn't post them online. Totally fine and fair enough!

Even more UR that you do then.

I think you should respect the mother's decision & stop posting your nephews on social media. I'd be very angry if I was the mother in this situation.

I am REMARKABLY lax about photos of my children, I put them on mine, I'd be OK with friends and relatives putting them on theirs. But not on a public profile, I'd be pretty pissed off if someone did that, especially if it's as many as you seem to be describing.

the mum's right not to have photos online trumps the wider family's right to see photos regularly, sorry.

Sorry but I think that if the mother doesn't want pictures put up of dc then you should agree not too.

Also wider friends & family do not have a moral right to see the nephews on social media. I'm sure they're welcome to visit when they want if they're that interested.

Ohhh no no no! I have people putting pics of my children online. I don't mind my mum putting the odd pic of Facebook of all her grandchildren together or something similar but if someone kept putting pic after pic online of my child I would hit the roof!!

I am happy for close family to post the odd picture of my kids but their profiles are private. Sharing the amount you do, and on a public profile, would make me absolutely furious and I would be seeking legal advice.

Why would you do this against the mother's wishes? It will just cause unnecessary animosity and upset in what already sounds like a hostile situation. Your brother trying to develop an amiable co parenting relationship is much more important than your wish to overshare someone else's kids with your friends.

I think you should remove everything, and only upload if you have the permission of both parents.

I'm very relaxed about social media, but I wouldn't put pictures of my own children on a public profile, let alone someone else's who has made it clear that they don't consent.

If you and your DB want to share pictures with family, make a private group so you can do this.

A public profile and you're posting a load of pictures of someone else's kids? Someone who doesn't post stuff about her kids online? How can you not see that that's not on?

If relatives want pictures of them then surely your brother can post them a photograph. I would be pretty horrified at what you are doing, and I do post pics (few, and not often) of my children on facebook and I have allowed one or two pics of them at events to be posted on Twitter. I've never posted videos, and I have friends only settings for everything on facebook. You are not the parent, so it isn't your call I'm afraid. Take them all down, and don't post any more.

I wouldn't be best pleased to see photos of my child being posted on facebook where the profile is set to public (having this very argument right now with my dm).

Nobody has a moral right to see photos of other people's kids on Facebook!! If family want to know what's going on with the kids they could just ASK!
They're not your children and if their parent has asked for the photos and videos to be removed you must do so straight away.

OK I see.
If the father is happy with me posting these videos, does it mean I need to have a permission from the mother as well (from the legal standpoint?). I take the point about the public profile and will take actions (we are not 'friends' with the mother and she just stalked me online to find out). Also it may seem like there is a lot, but there are only three-four photos a week and one-two videos, it is not like a celebrity account with constant feed.
I don't really share any personal details. I had ONE questionable post that I regret now which may have disclosed some personal information, and this is probably what set her off.
My brother is not incapable, he is a devoted and loving father, but everyone could do with some help and I really enjoy spending time with the little ones. He is also trying to rebuilt his love life at the moment, and is for the time careful with the contact between the children and his new fiancée, wanting it to happen gradually and naturally. Can't see anything wrong with that? I am also sure I know 99% of the divorce story, but unfortunately courts are still really prejudiced in favour of the mothers and we lost the custody.

If i have about 2000 pics of dd online,so i don't think i would make a massive issue over it,but no everyone is the same.
The problem here is not only that you are posting pics and vids when the mum isn't,but that your profile is public as well. She obviously doesn't want her children on social media and not only you went against this,but also made the pics available for all to see not just close family. If you want to share the moments email family members,make an whatsapp group etc.