sharing pictures of children online (not a mother)

[user1481460461]

Hello all,

I am new to Mumsnet (don't have children myself, but was aware of the website before) and not sure I am posting in the right thread.
Basically, my brother is divorced and his children (2 and 3.5) were awarded by the court to his ex (who has so many issues that the court decision came as complete shock to us). He has contact once a week and I am often helping him to look after the children when he has them.
I am very proud of my nephews, despite the conflict we have with their mother, and my social networks' picture and video feed is 50% dedicated to them (and another 50% to my hobby, which I am passionate about). Normal videos like playing with toys, nursery rhymes etc, nothing questionable, all comments from my friends and relatives are also very positive and loving.
I received a barrage of messages from the mother last week asking me to remove the pictures and videos under the threat of contacting the administration, police etc. I ignored it at first, but then I thought to consult with the hive mind. Am I breaking any criminal or moral law here? The father gave me full permission to share online whatever I think is appropriate.

Thank you all xxx

OP the only one who sounds werid here is you. ..how dare she throw them in nursery and go to work, what a poor excuse of a mother get over yourself.

Not everyone lives there lives through social media this doesn't make her werid or not normal it's a personal choice to do so. No court would even entertain your 'concerns' you actually sound deluded here not the mother I know the court system and how it works. Your DB although I think you're the finacee here needs to sort himself and care for his DC himself, it's one day a week I'm sure he can manage. How did you expect to have sole custody if he can't manage one day? You are far too overly invested in this situation for an auntie it's as if you consider yourself the other parent.

I would love to here the mother view point I could see it now.

Exs DSis / fiancée is over invested in my dcs she is insists on being present during access and posts numberous pictures and videos on her social media page. It's as if she's their mother, what's worse is her page is public. I don't feel comfortable with strangers viewing pictures of DC and I don't actively post pictures of them myself. They have put me through hell recently. We went through the courts saying I'm a unfit mother because I work and DC are in childcare which enables me to support them. They question everything I do and make out I have mental health problems. I feel like I'm constantly getting watched by them and I can't just get on with my life with dcs.

Good idea about the Whatsapp group. I just have all my accounts connected together, so what come on one is copied to others automatically and it was easy to post everything from the same content managing system. As I said, I fully accept that sharing in public is not appropriate and I will look into more private ways in the future.
Of course I (and my brother) have concerns about the children's wellbeing. That's why the custody was applied for in the first place. And yes I was party to the proceedings as a witness of some quite gruesome incidents.

I don't post any pics of my children on FB and never will do. This doesn't make me unhinged. It just means that I actually love my kids and take their welfare very seriously!
Surely this is a reverse?
No-one could be that dim?

So a severely depressed,anorexic,working mother manages to cope with two kids six days a week,but your brother needs help to manage his love life and the kids for the one day he has them?

Bottom line...You don't like her,who knows she might even actually be a bad mum,that still doesn't give you the right to share pics of the kids with all and sundry.

Delete all the posts involving the children.

Your profile is PUBLIC. I post a reasonable amount on stuff on my timeline about my children but they are MY children. And my profile is private and therefore restricted to the people that I don't mind seeing them.

Regardless of your brother saying it's fine, their mother has expressly told you not to. If I were her, I would go ballistic.

She's told you not to. No further analysis or discussion required. Delete them immediately.

I just have all my accounts connected together, so what come on one is copied to others automatically and it was easy to post everything from the same content managing system

Does that mean that the pics of the children are not only on FB but on other social media as well?

Oh and also the strange comment about you being their to facilitate the love life of your brother - what are you talking about?
Do you mean
A) He has to have help looking after his two children once a week. He hasn't introduced his FIANCÉE to the kids yet so you have to help?
or
B) He is out galavanting with the lady so you look after them?

Why are you referring to him needing help to develop a love life again when he apparently engaged?
Why have his kids never met the fiancée? I know you are meant to take it slowly but surely they should meet before you think about marriage???

Ooooh I have severe mental health issues and also self harmed and accused my dear darling ex of domestic abuse.

At least that's the bullshit story you would get if you spoke to his family.

Putting up photos on FB doesn't prove that you love children more than someone who doesn't post pictures either. There are no pictures of my dc online anywhere and I adore them.

This isn't your battle, there is no 'we'. You are an auntie so back off and let the parents parent.

Stop making malicious calls too or you'll get yourself into serious bother.

I'd be rather unimpressed if you or anybody was putting photos of my kids online. There is probably less than a dozen that my DH and I have posted.
Children have a right to privacy, how would you feel about your friends or any Tom, Dick or Harry having access to your childhood photos?
I'm guessing it has always bugged her but for the sake of her ropey marriage she opted not to say anything until the marriage was over.

Ex"

" The mother does not share anything about the children on social networks - no photos, birthdays, funny moments, not even the fact they exist at all! "

well nor did I - does that make me a bad parent?

Obviously it does brat.
I hope you don't work or use a nursery either.

Damn all those inconsiderate parents providing for their children, leaving them with qualified child carers and trying to protect their privacy.

OP I think you'd find that the Courts would take a very different view of social media to you. They take the children's privacy seriously and certainly wouldn't see asking you not to post as preventing wider family from being involved.

I agree that you need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Your brother applied for residence but can't cope with one day alone without your help? But the mother is unfit?

You have no right to post any public pictures of your nieces and nephews without express recent permission from their mother and father seperately.
Despite how you may feel about her, that is nothing to do with this.

I would be livid if any of my friends or family posted pictures of my Dcs without asking first. l have no photos of my Dcs online at all...it is not that unusual. Most people do not live their life online and through social media. They actually live it!

You are being very entitled and unreasonable in your attitude to someone elses children. Please respect her view.

I am sorry, I did not mean to raise the heat of the discussion so high.
I don't have anything against her personally, she is a very damaged person, she is not evil but also not quite fit to bring up the children. It is a sad story of a naïve man abandoning his long-term fiancée (who is also his current fiancée, after forgiving him) in favour of a mail-order bride he knew only for a couple of months, who then became immediately pregnant (twice) and only then it transpired she had a huge mental health baggage (and another failed previous marriage we knew nothing about right until the wedding day when it came as a shock on the marriage certificate).
I am not excusing my brother, he should have been more mature and he has contributed to the situation, no questions asked. I am just trying to create a semblance of normality. And yes this seems that creating a video and photo history of the 'normal' family life - trips, parties etc. helps with that (I just realized something about why it is so important to me).

feckin hell this thread has actually raised my heartbeat...

Yes cauli I did work and use a nursery while my ex had his sister / mother/gf (delete as appropriate) run around after him on his 'access' visits...oh and guess what he used to tell people I was mental as well....

OP just feck off with this shit and concentrate on your own life..and stop the malicious calls to SS...if they have visited her and decided that everything is OK ...they will not appreciate more time wasting calls.

Just ...fucking hell...

'a mail order bride' is she now?
Just WTF?

As for using her (possibe) MH condition against her (and you might want to check out the disability discrimination act if you are so concerned about legalities!) Alot of people who battle with mental illness are fantastic parents. The fact that she is able to care for 2 children and hold down a job indicates that any mental health condition is well managed. (Huge credit to her) The fact that you have repeadedly contacted social services who have done "nothing" indicates that there are no safeguarding concerns. Assuming your brother wants to increase his contact with the children, your actions hounding their mother are likely sabotaging any chance of this!

Being a witness doesn't give you any standing in the proceedings. It has nothing to do with you. All you are doing is creating more aggro between your brother and his ex. If you love your nephews as much as you say then why would you want to do that?

In my opinion 3-4 pictures A WEEK is a LOT! I would be absolutely fuming if you posted photos of my children on a public (or private for that matter) facebook page.
Angry mother aside I think it is also disrespectful to the children. Do you not have any respect for their privacy? What if they don't want their whole childhood plastered over the internet as they get older. Unacceptable IMO and not your right to do so.

1. if he needs you to be there the entire time he has the kids it's probably a good thing their mother was awarded residency

2. whilst not illegal as you have their fathers permission it's still not right morally as the mother has requested you curb it

3. you say the mother has mental health issues??? I think a woman who is so overly invested in kids who do not belong to her (& whilst my children are not my property they certainly belong to me... not their aunt) is possibly a sandwich or two short of the full picnic

A mail order bride??? WTAF

Wow. You are being enormously unreasonable. Amongst other things. Your brother also sounds like a gem.

I hope it does go back to court. And I hope that your brother's access is granted on the condition that the children don't have any contact with you whilst they're with him. However much you "saw" you don't know the full details and TBH, I'd be wary about trusting someone accused of DV's side of a story.

This woman is doing the best she can in what sounds like a really shitty situation and you going against her wishes is not helping the situation at all.

I don't have any pictures of my daughter online. She has a right to privacy and to make her own decisions about what's online. I use a secure service for sharing photos, I would be furious if someone was repeatedly going against my wishes for something so simple and it would make me wonder what else is happening against my wishes.