sharing pictures of children online (not a mother)

[user1481460461]

Hello all,

I am new to Mumsnet (don't have children myself, but was aware of the website before) and not sure I am posting in the right thread.
Basically, my brother is divorced and his children (2 and 3.5) were awarded by the court to his ex (who has so many issues that the court decision came as complete shock to us). He has contact once a week and I am often helping him to look after the children when he has them.
I am very proud of my nephews, despite the conflict we have with their mother, and my social networks' picture and video feed is 50% dedicated to them (and another 50% to my hobby, which I am passionate about). Normal videos like playing with toys, nursery rhymes etc, nothing questionable, all comments from my friends and relatives are also very positive and loving.
I received a barrage of messages from the mother last week asking me to remove the pictures and videos under the threat of contacting the administration, police etc. I ignored it at first, but then I thought to consult with the hive mind. Am I breaking any criminal or moral law here? The father gave me full permission to share online whatever I think is appropriate.

Thank you all xxx

Sorry but you're being very unreasonable. There are plenty of ways to share photos electronically without posting publicly on the Internet. Why not use Dropbox or similar?

I love sharing things of my kids on my profile for my family abroad to see but I would be furious if someone else posted things on a public profile for any tom, dick and Harry to see. You need to take them down and send the pictures privately.

Wow! Do you realise that as your profile is public ANYONE can then share these pictures for there own purposes! They are also likely to know the names and locations ofcthe children making abduction easier and can use the photos to 'advertise' the children if wanting to 'sell' them into the child sex trade. Also why posting pictures of children in school uniforms is a bad idea. Any pics should definately be limited to a select group of friends and family (not aquaintances or randomers who request to be your friends)

Not sure of the legalities as you have the fathers consent, but moraly and from a common sense point of view the mothers wishes should be taken seriously.

3 or 4 pictures and 1 or 2 videos, weekly, from a once a week contact is a ridiculous amount. She probably wonders why you are always there too. Why would your brother have given you permission if your profile was public? And why would he want to aggravate the main carer of his kids? Surely reducing hostility should be the priority.

You are being way over invested here. You did not lose custody,he did. And if he can't cope one day a week without your help how could he cope full time?

Anyways back to the pictures...delete what has been posted up until now and refrain from doing so from now on. Why isn't your brother posting them for "the benefit of close family and friends"?

Your profile is public. To say the mum has stalked you is patently untrue - anyone can access your Facebook page with no effort whatsoever. In fact Facebook often puts things in my newsfeed of people who are not my friends, but rather friends of friends with public profiles.

Are you the fiancée?
No one has a right to these children. If they want to see pictures of them then perhaps show some pictures you have taken. NOT on FB. Especially not a public page.

Even if your profile is public you can make individual posts private if you wish so that's no excuse. Ignoring the moral issue of you posting photos of someone else's child when they clearly wouldn't want you to you are highly likely to get your FB profile suspended if a complaint is received. Won't the bad publicity damage your public hobby?

Given that you've admitted that you've posted them on a public profile and you've possibly posted personal information, then asking you to take them down seems like a reasonable request. If I were you I'd do the decent thing and do what she asks rather than trying to prove you point by talking about legalities.

And then maybe do some research about keeping safe on social media.

What LottieL said. If she is a friend of one of your friends your posts may have just popped up on her feed without any effort on her part!

I want my children to have a choice about what is shared about them on line when they are old enough to decide.

I am married and with the father of my children and would still be really unhappy about an aunt overriding my wishes even if my husband was ok with it.

I honk you've overstepped the mark and would suggest to do some sincere apologising if you want to salvage a relationship with their mother.

Honk is obviously think!! Wish you could correct posts.

I probably should say that my hobby is photography (which I hope to monetize one day, not at the children's expense however lol).
I already accepted the point about the public profile, and I can see that this could be construed as careless. I thought about this only now that someone asked me about the profile settings.
She never had issues with me sharing photos before, when they were still married, so I have doubts about her genuine fears that somehow emerged only now.
I am probably overinvested, because I love my brother and nephews and it pains me to see them treated like that. In my personal opinion, and I repeat personal, there is something weird about the mother who does not want to show her children to the world, and indeed hide them in the dark. As we think (with some proof) that she has a serious mental illness as well, you can see why I am uneasy.

I don't understand why you don't seem to want to respect the mother's wishes & are instead talking about the legalities.

These are not your children.

There is also the other moral issue that your nephews have no say in what you post on the internet. They may not be happy when they've grown up with you having documented their childhood in public.

She doesn't hide them from the world,she just doesn't want them on social media ffs! And that's perfectly normal.

We have no pictures of DD online, and we actively report pictures to Facebook/Instagram to have them removed if we find them. We remind friends and family too.

You are being very unreasonable OP.

Then I, and many other mothers, am weird. I do not want my children shown to the world on social media. As their mother that is my perogative and it is for this mother to also decide.

You can indulge your hobby of photography. Put those pictures online.
You can take family pictures. Respect the wishes of the mother and keep those private.

Morally- not sure
Legally-absolutely fine

Jesus! I'm not a mum and know this isn't okay

...there is something weird about the mother who does not want to show her children to the world, and indeed hide them in the dark.

Are you for real?

I do respect the mother's wishes. However, the children are not her property and the fact that the custody was given to her does not mean that our side of the children's family suddenly lost all rights even to be informed how the children are doing. It just means that they technically spend more time with her than they do with their dad, and it is quality not quantity that counts.
I also think we will return to the court next year maybe to review the arrangement, and this may be taken as evidence of that the wider family was very interested and involved, and that we did a lot of activities, trips, developmental stuff etc. with them. She does not do anything like that with them at all, just chucks them into the nursery and goes to work!

Btw are the pics of the children used to "showcase" your hobby?

OK, I retract the post above, it is off topic and not that relevant, just the situation is quite raw and everyone is hurting a lot.

Surely no one is this insensitive?

Leave their dad to keep their family up to date, and find child models whose parents are happy to sign their privacy over to the internet to help advertise your business.

As for insulting her because she works?

Why doesn't your brother inform family of what's going on and post pictures of them on fb for the extended family to see?