sharing pictures of children online (not a mother)

[user1481460461]

Hello all,

I am new to Mumsnet (don't have children myself, but was aware of the website before) and not sure I am posting in the right thread.
Basically, my brother is divorced and his children (2 and 3.5) were awarded by the court to his ex (who has so many issues that the court decision came as complete shock to us). He has contact once a week and I am often helping him to look after the children when he has them.
I am very proud of my nephews, despite the conflict we have with their mother, and my social networks' picture and video feed is 50% dedicated to them (and another 50% to my hobby, which I am passionate about). Normal videos like playing with toys, nursery rhymes etc, nothing questionable, all comments from my friends and relatives are also very positive and loving.
I received a barrage of messages from the mother last week asking me to remove the pictures and videos under the threat of contacting the administration, police etc. I ignored it at first, but then I thought to consult with the hive mind. Am I breaking any criminal or moral law here? The father gave me full permission to share online whatever I think is appropriate.

Thank you all xxx

Just because he met her on the internet does not mean she was a mail order bride.

YOU FOOL!

is anyone else being reminded of that episode of friends where rachel is dating some dude with a very close relationship with his sister?

Nephews are not teddy bears.
I did lie a little bit, but only about my identity. I am the fiancée, but the story about the sister is 100% true (abusive emails from the mother, sharing of the photos and that she did not know her settings are public), as are the mother's mental health issues, and I was party to the proceedings in my own right.
Someone picked this up, I don't know how, in the middle of the discussion. I could not keep pretending properly from there. I am sorry, but I don't know what to do, this is breaking the family into pieces and these are such dark days for everyone. I knew the father in the story for 10 years, and thought I really knew him, but still love him with all his imperfections.
I am sorry I lied to you.

If you want to share photos and videos with family use things like what's app or drop box don't just dump everything on Facebook, especially when it's a public account. Just because your nephews Mum chooses not to mention her kids on social media doesn't mean she a bad person, just means she has made a choice not to do that. (I don't share anything about me son on Facebook) Respect her decision, apologise and delete all the photos videos of them.
I still don't get why 'your devoted brother' can't look after his kids once a week. Shouldn't make a difference if he has a fiancé. Just means that one day a week he spends with his kids. Sounds like he palms them of on you whilst you spend the entire day taking photos of your nephews.

FFS

I knew you were the fiancée no sister would be as overly invested as you are. Is this even present or past? You can start by being more respectful to the DM Rice hit the nail on the head

Ok, so the sister should delete all the photos if one parent is not happy with them being online. She can share them via whatsapp, email or something. It does sound like he needs a lot of help to look after his own children one day a week which seems quite ironic considering you're slagging off her ability to care for them.

If you have genuine concerns about their welfare then the dad needs to go to the authorities and solicitors and get custody, but I fear it's not that bad and you're just slagging her off because she stole your man.

So does the sister look after the kids during his time so he can see you then? I'm confused.

Yes I'm also wondering if the sister looks after the children so he can see you on the one day of contact.

Jesus Christ

And if you have never even met the kids then you have no clue what kind of father he is beyond what he told you. Why are you involving yourself in this?

IF the sister is facilities contact so he can spend time with you that's appaulling
My ex did this and I nip it in the bud it was his contact not his mothers to have

God, I am totally lost now. So you are the fiancée, your husband to be's sister has been posting videos of her nephews/nieces, and your husband to be's ex wife is objecting to this. And where do you stand? Do you think the sister should be allowed to post these pictures and videos?

FGS.

'Mail order brides' are human you know. Step back and look at your attitude. Towards that and mh issues.

Legally the images belong to whoever has taken them, so unless there is a court order stating that you cannot post photographs of the child on social media, you are not breaking the law.

However out of respect I would stop posting. If someone was flooding their time line with my child I would be a bit

I take it back... now I've really heard it all - OP you're missing the entire picnic basket not just a few fucking sandwiches!

After reading all that, dump your fiancé/'devoted brother' and run for the bloody hills! He dumped you and married someone else, and then came crawling back? He sounds like a right arse.
The fact the kids Mum chooses not to post photos online is her prerogative and doesn't make her a bad personal. It also doesn't make her have mental health issues. If anything it shows that she doesn't spend every second of her time glued to the internet. That in my opinion is the sign of a good parent.
You seem to have an issue with her working... why can't your fiancé/'devoted brother' look after them more. Maybe if he decided not to run back to you she wouldn't have to 'dump them in childcare'
I actually feel sorry for the kids Mum.

I would be furious if anyone posted pictures or videos of my children online.

Well this is getting complicated.

Firstly I was going to suggest the aunt creates some nice printed out photo albums of all the fun family times for the boys instead of posting on social media ( there are numerous companies that do this online) that way the boys will have a lasting record they can keep.

Secondly it's very easy to do fun, developmental interesting etc activities when you have children 1 day a week & family support. The mother has them 90% of the time, needs to work and must do all the drudgery work. The more I read your posts the more I feel for her.

The father doesn't sound as though he's taken responsibility for his actions in leaving you for this woman and having children with her. I very much doubt he is as naive as you believe.
We're getting a very one sided view of this situation, something tells me that the mother isn't the crazy, lieing , irresponsible person you're trying to make her out to be.

You need to try to get off on the right foot then. Seriously, life will be easier for everyone if you all start respecting each other a little more and all support an amicable co parenting relationship woth your fiancé and the mother of his children.

The sister still needs to remove the pics from social media and stop sharing online. Seriously it's not on. If her removing them will make the relationships easier all around, why even consider whether you should have to?

You need to stay out of it and take everything said with a pinch of salt about her. (Particularly the DV charge- My ex told his new fiancé that I was the mental one. Years later he now has a violent conviction for attacking her. Also a tip- google his name and the word assault and maybe the borough he went to court in, if he was actually charged it will be published online.) You might just find yourself in her shoes one day and she may be your biggest ally

For now the most important thing is the children and supporting the mum and making her life easier will make the lives of the children easier. They pick up on everything. This stress is going to be effecting her terribly and her kids will pick up on that. Empower her, give her some confidence, respect her wishes as a mother.

Many parents I know try to limit their children's appearance on social media to an absolute minimum. I have family, and friends what's app groups where we regularly share pictures. The mother has an absolute right to request the pictures and videos be removed from an open Facebook page.

No, the sister just covers a part of Saturdays sometimes so that we can see each other on Sunday (it is 4 hours one way trip, so she looks after them from ~5 pm to ~7 pm so he can travel). Not every week, every second week or so. The mother is furious about this, and tries to present it like he dumps them on his sister constantly (as she handles the handover back). Therefore photos to a certain extent serve as evidence that the children spend a lot of quality time with him as well.
I am not sure myself what to do with the situation. We were trying literally up to the day he left, resumed efforts now, but it's probably too late for me. His children are adorable, and I believed for a moment that we could be a family if we were given custody, but I am not sure whether I am able to handle their mother's constant presence and intrusion (please do understand me correctly, I am not a baby snatcher).
I am sorry to come across as a complete mess, the final hearing and the decision was only in the beginning of December and our solicitor gave us iron cast guarantee that we would win. I am sure the domestic violence story is BS as I lived with this guy for almost a decade, and he has many faults but being violent is not one of them.

Completely lost track of this story now. Anyway, stop posting photos online - not your DC so not your choice.

Sorry, hadn't read thread.