sharing pictures of children online (not a mother)

[user1481460461]

Hello all,

I am new to Mumsnet (don't have children myself, but was aware of the website before) and not sure I am posting in the right thread.
Basically, my brother is divorced and his children (2 and 3.5) were awarded by the court to his ex (who has so many issues that the court decision came as complete shock to us). He has contact once a week and I am often helping him to look after the children when he has them.
I am very proud of my nephews, despite the conflict we have with their mother, and my social networks' picture and video feed is 50% dedicated to them (and another 50% to my hobby, which I am passionate about). Normal videos like playing with toys, nursery rhymes etc, nothing questionable, all comments from my friends and relatives are also very positive and loving.
I received a barrage of messages from the mother last week asking me to remove the pictures and videos under the threat of contacting the administration, police etc. I ignored it at first, but then I thought to consult with the hive mind. Am I breaking any criminal or moral law here? The father gave me full permission to share online whatever I think is appropriate.

Thank you all xxx

No. Your family liking your posts on Facebook is not proof they're more interested in the kids than their own mum is

'She does not do anything like that with them at all, just chucks them into the nursery and goes to work!'

She goes out and works to pay bills? Unlike your lovely brother who has them 1 day a week and needs help!

There's nothing weird about it at all. It is perfectly normal.

The fact you only realised about the issue of the public profile when asked on here is kind of the point. You should already have known. So I can see why she might also be worried that the person who's going against her wishes doesn't really know what they are doing.

I am not advertising my business with the children's photos. It is not even a business yet, just a dream (and then I am a pet photographer, not human).

OP, you're obviously not interested in the moral side of things, only the legal. Not sure about any laws being broken but the mother does have the right to report you to fb for sharing pics of her kids without her permission and they may well remove them.
As regards mental health, there are lots of mothers who do not wish for pics of their children to be circulated via social media, it's indicative of a parent who has considered the possible future ramifications and reached the conclusion that they aren't worth the risk, not of a mental health issue. Personally I'd consider a women so obsessed with someone else's kids that she posts 3 or 4 pics a week of them against their mothers wishes more in need of a mental health assessment!

I'm genuinely that anyone would be this cuntish and entitled.

OP back the fuck off. So she works, you don't like her so have to 'prove' she has mental health issues - the children have a right to a relationship with their father. Not to be paraded about on FB by you.

What sort of serious mental illness?

You are deluded. The court isn't going to disrupt children and uproot them from their main carer because she works and you overshare on social media. And stop with the 'we'. You are not party to any orders or legal proceedings.

If this and the working are signs of her being odd, I can see why her getting custody in court could have come as a surprise.

I feel that you have mixed all sorts of issues you all together, as evidenced by your last post.

The public nature of your profile would concern me, as others have said. I think that permission from one parent but not from the other makes it difficult but that you ought to err on the side of caution until things are clarified or formalised.

You may not help your Brother's case, if you believe he has one and is likely to return to Court, if you persist in doing what you do after the Children's Mother has made things clear.

In short, I don't think you have the "right" to do what you are doing and photos and videos can be distributed privately to Family members without being posted on a public Facebook profile.

why are you uneasy about her when you are the one who is so insistent on posting pics of someone elses kids?

someones weird and it aint her

I would be very unhappy of people (family or friends) posting pictures and videos of my son on an open profile. I'm more than happy for people to post on closed profiles, where they know everyone that can see it (it's mainly me that posts, but I sometimes tag friends or family), but not in an open one. I know pictures can spread regardless of privacy settings, but it's one way to be cautious for me. And never anything that could be seen as indecent.

She is anorexic and severely depressed. Also made false allegations of domestic violence (self-harming to be more convincing and show injuries), of which my brother was acquitted immediately after the police interview. We reported her a dozen of times to the police, social services and mental health team to absolutely no effect as she immediately plays nice and gentle when they are involved.

You could set up a WhatsApp group for the family to share pictures and videos of the kids. The way you are using facebook at the moment might jeopardise your brothers case rather than help.

Aren't you a treat
Damn that mother for working and providing for her children and how dare she want to protect their privacy.

Back off OP

Oh nonsense. You wouldn't be stupid enough to put photos of children up publicly if it wasn't advertising your skills as a photographer - no one would.

In these days of online privacy issues, surely everyone knows photos live on the net forever, and any would-be amateur photographer should know about consent issues for photos like that, even if they're not professionals yet?

You just don't want to listen to her because you're spitefully playing the "his and her" side game, rather than thinking of the kids, and using it to point-score.

"This is us going on a nature ramble, while their mum has MH issues and works for a living!" Nice Disney parenting there!

Why report her to the police??

You will lose nothing by respecting her wishes and emailing family the pictures rather than using fb.

You might even make her life just a teensy bit easier... which can only benefit the kids!

why ss? do you have concerns over the childrens safety?

You sound deeply over invested and antagonistic. I think that the mother's wish to avoid an online presence for her children is far healthier than your complete disregard of their privacy, safety, her feelings and a healthy co-parenting relationship.

The level of involvement you have is bizarre. I adore my nieces yet were my brother to only have them for one day per week of contact, I would not be there every time. It is intrusive and over-bearing. The children need some time with their dad without you hanging around like a spare mum. And if your brother can't deal with them on his own for 1 day then it is just as well she got custody.

You seem to dislike and be contemptuous of their mother. Diagnosing her with a mental illness and continually referring to the split and custody battle as your battle ("we lost"... WTF? It isn't anything to do with you!) is weird.

Back off, give your brother and the kids some space. Take down every image of them from Facebook. Live your own life, not your brother's.

Remove everything immediately.

You should be doing nothing to create waves and upset where there is clearly already discord; whether it is legal or illegal is completely irrelevant.

It doesn't matter how good a mother you perceive her to be, her standards of privacy for her children are the priority, and as they are not your children you have to respect that.

You are being very unreasonable. They are not your children. Take down the photos.

I find it really wired when people post lots of pictures of kids that aren't even there's. if you want to share with wider family, set up email or whatsapp.

Delete the pictures from Facebook now. I think the mother can report your account if you don't remove them.

Back the fuck off OP. These are not your children, the custody arrangement is nothing to do with you, your brother obviously isn't the saint you make him out to be if he only has them one day a week and has to have you and the rest of the family wiping his arse for him on that one day.....
She works, pays the bills and takes care of their needs 90% of the time so fuck off with your 'throws them in nursery' comment.
You're way too involved in your brothers life, and quite frankly it's just weird.

And if, as you say, she has some MH issues, why on earth would you want to add to her anxiety and stress by doing this. How will this help anything, unless you are attempting to push her to the edge in order to have the court change their decision. Is that it?

You sound terribly selfish I'm afraid.

You should apologise unreservedly and remove them.