Would you leave you 4 month old at home, to go on a holiday of a lifetime

[sesame]

I have a dilemma. I have the opportunity to go on an all expenses paid holiday that we woudl seriosuly never ever be able to afford in our lives. The only problem is, its a work thing and the excursions etc that are compulsary are not child friendly, taking the baby is out of the question. My mom will gladly look after the baby, but am i crazy for even thinking about going????

heres me trying to justify it. we haven't been away for a couple of years and in the last 18 months have been through 2 miscarriages and 2 family deaths, which have all taken their toll on us. We really need this break but just can't afford a holiday.

what would you do????

I guess it boils down to whether or not you'd feel comfortable leaving him and if you'd still have a good time without him.

Personally I wouldn't as i wouldn't have a good time.

But if you're comfortable go for it. :)

will this be your first baby?
I ask because, ime and imho, (and sorry to sould so pessimistic) to try and wean an exclusively bf baby onto EBM bottles at four months, for an entire week, then to expect your supply to be OK/ your baby to latch back on without any problems when you get back is unrealistic.
even hoping to express sufficient quantities for that period of time would be very tricky.
If you were to go, I would say you would have to accept that you might have to give up exclusive breastfeeding, and hope to reestablish your supply.

Definitely not. Bfing or not I couldn't be separated from such a tiny baby for a week.

Just my feelings cos you asked :)

LeahE - It is completely because i am worried about how the baby will be and if i'll regret it. I'd hate for my baby to suffer because of this.

Baby isnt born yet, so i don't even know if he/she will take to BF at all. I know i need to think seriously about it.

Sorry, but that says it all!

lo sorry, but you just have no idea how you will feel after baby is born! I bet you won't be able to leave him at that age, just a feeling I have........

actually, I do think a four month old baby would miss you and your dh.
I have a four month old and I do think she would certainly notice if her parents weren't around for a week. She would certainly be unsettled. She is bonded with us.

Nope. Could never relax. I still don't feel I could spend a night away from DS and he's 3.5 now.

Remember you're feelings will probably change once the baby is born. Don't really think you should make any decisions until after the birth.

Yes it will be my first baby, and if it gets close to the time and i don't want to go that is definitly and option and at the moment all i can think about is baby and how i will manage etc. I guess i won't know how i will feel until it happens.

I am planning on sharing the feeding wit my partner once baby arrives so some days i will be tryng to express and let dh feed him/her with a bottle.

Not bf for that long could mean that you'd have trouble restarting when you got back. I suggest asking on the feeding board for advice from the experts there.

Also my ds never took to a bottle of EBM despite our best efforts, and I found it very difficult to get much milk pumping -- I don't know if this is your first child but if so don't 100% assume beforehand that you'll be able to pump a freezerfull of milk that your baby will happily drink from a bottle. That was my grand plan before having DS but I was sadly mistaken on both counts.

thanks jmum - i agree, i know i won't have a clue about a decision until the time comes. Dh will go anyway, he has a back up friend who could go, and although i'd love it, i will definitly be putting the baby first.

what would i do without mumsnet. thank you all for your views.

Sorry I keep cross-posting with you which is why I say things like "I assume you're not bf" and "I don't know if this is your first child". I'm not wilfully ignoring you, honest.

oh if baby isn't born yet then I definitely wouldn't be making plans, there is not telling how things will go and i think baby is aware of mum and dad..and there is more to breastfeeding and bottlefeeding than just the nutritional aspect

I wouldn't, but as others have said it is completely up to you. I had to go back to work when my DS1 was four months old and I cried solidly for the entire day beforehand.

If i was leaving my child with my mum i would. At 4 months it will be easier than when they are older and know that youve gone iyswim.
I havent breastfed either of my children though so i dont know how you would manage that one, would it be possible to express a weeks worth of feeds??

Thats probably the ideal solution. Wait until you've had the baby, you never know you might be dying to get away from it!!!!! (joking)

When are you due?

not due till june

izzybiz do you honestly think a four month old wouldn't know that her mother and father had gone?
They wouldn't be able to say it but I have absolutely no doubt they would notice

You might not want to when your baby comes, but you have to remember you have to, it doesn't hurt a baby to know that its cared and loved by its grandparents too. I personally won't leave my babies with a childminder, nanny or in a nursery but I don't mind leaving them with my mum, she did a good job with me and I know she loves my children.

Well good luck with it! Remember do what makes you feel most comfortable. And if you don't go then make sure you and you're mum hav elots of nice treats while dh is away.

I remember the first time i left my dd to go into town for a couple of hours. I couldnt get home quick enough. I thought I was going to flood the changing room floor as everytime I thought about her, my boobs leaked. I was home within the two hours with a new coat which was two sizes too big!