Would you leave you 4 month old at home, to go on a holiday of a lifetime

[sesame]

I have a dilemma. I have the opportunity to go on an all expenses paid holiday that we woudl seriosuly never ever be able to afford in our lives. The only problem is, its a work thing and the excursions etc that are compulsary are not child friendly, taking the baby is out of the question. My mom will gladly look after the baby, but am i crazy for even thinking about going????

heres me trying to justify it. we haven't been away for a couple of years and in the last 18 months have been through 2 miscarriages and 2 family deaths, which have all taken their toll on us. We really need this break but just can't afford a holiday.

what would you do????

www - you only left your ds for a night though, this is for a week in another continent.
I am another no I'm afriad. You have your whole life to save up and go on holidays. Your baby will only be little for such a short amount of time and I honestly wouldn't have enjoyed a holiday away at this age

Yes Lucyjones but he got very used to staying with her and I then worked full time from when he was 5months old. I know not everyone would want to!

I worked from when ds was 5 months too part-time but not is nothing like going away for a week!!

I was expressing at 4 months.
It was tailing off because I wasn't breastfeeding.
And I was still expressing say six times a day, half an hour a time...(what with the faffing around, prob less actual pumping time).
If the baby is being fully b/f at that point it will mean many absences to keep up supply, keep down engorgement and leaking.
I was largely formula-feeding and it was still a big commitment in terms of time to express.

Well true lucyjones, true. Mind you, I left the house at 8am and didn't get home until 6pm so I don't think I saw him for much more than 2 hours a day. But each to their own, absolutely. I think it must be incredibly hard to make the decision before you have the baby though, it's pretty much impossible to know how you'll feel!

sesame I'm another definately Yes. I was back at work when dd was 3.5 months and I truly think that leaving her for 12 hours a day was the only thing that kept me from having full blown PND.

But, you may fel differently after you've actually had teh baby. And whilst I managed to leave dd for 3 days at 8 months and come back to still bf twice a day, I think reestablishing bf after a week at 4 months will be difficult, and expressing whilst out tehre will probably spoil your holiday. Butyou may not even be bf'ing at all. As you have the option to pull out at a later date you should IMO, say Yes now, and re-assess nearer the time. But make sure that your mother and your baby are both used to being left together in the environment they would be in when you are awauy, and taht your baby is used to taking bottles (ebm or formula) from your mother well in advance if you want to minimise the practical reasons fro not going

I'm a No. It's not really the length of time, it's the distance I wouldn't be able to cope with.

I left DD at 6 months to ski with my DP for his 40th bday (should add this was booked before I was even pregnant DD result of contreceptive failure!). She stayed with my mum who had spent a huge amount of time with her since she was born and they still have a wonderful bond now (12 years later).
I was fine for the first three days - slept like a log as I was physically and mentally exhausted but on day four burst into tears on a drag lift and couldn't stop- felt like the worst mother around- however as someome else said to me I had been a full time mum for 6 months and was going back to being a full time mum so she was no worse off than a baby in full time childcare ( not that I have a problem with that either each to their own - I now work) anyway I digress - boobs were full all the time and it was awful expressing it off into the sink, but I wanted to keep the supply up for when I got back - so day 4/5 were hardest very weepy and phoning home nearly every hour! day 6 ok as I knew they'd be at the airport on day 7. She seemed fine at nanny's and latched back on straight away. I left her again when she was 14 months (had PND) and that was much much harder she definitely knew I was gone and refused to come for a cuddle when I got back although she ran straight to DH arms - I was punished for a week after that!!! so Freshstart is right harder to leave an older child than a younger one.
Not alot of advice here just my experience but as others have said you don't know how you will feel until the baby is here etc etc so I don't think you can make a decision until much nearer the time ..... just be aware of the pitfalls!

Yes of course if I had parents (loving, doting grandparents) fit and well enough to take care of baby. Go and enjoy!

Sadly mine aren't in great shape, so dh is going on an all expenses paid 5* junket to Dubai (provided with his very own butler would you believem since he finished 3rd in the company ) solo, whilst I stay at home with the lo's (they have their own butler too, i.e. me!)

Oh please. If you want to go, go ahead and don't bother feeling guilty. You have the rest of your life to do that and bond with your baby.

I left my daughter with my parents for 12 days when she was 1, while I flew to the other side of the world. She was fine, I was fine. I am afraid having children hasn't made me want good holidays any less. if anything, I think I need them more.

i agree totally!

Go if you want to, but please don't think you are going to be able to express enough milk to leave behind, and keep your supply up whilst you are away to continue breastfeeding when you are back.
i am sure that is an impossibility unless you take industrial size pump with you and spend all day in your room expressing! and night come to think of it!

Haven't read all of thread, but I went back to work when I was still bf and as I work in a different city from my husband I was away for 4 days a week. Expressing kept the supply up absolutely fine, it was just a pain in the neck (about 3 hours a day in total, with a manual pump!) Don't see why a week would be any different.

but is expressing three hours away on a holiday plus excursions with a work orientated group fun? and throwing the ebm out tuboot

and having expressed a freezerful beforehand

and leaving baby and being thousands of miles away

But kathy - when you returned home did you bf your baby? If you did - then yes 4 days is a lot less than 7 and also not being on holiday would surely make it easier to express.

I went back to work when dd was 3 mths and managed to express enough for each following day but i really think this is different than being totally apart for 7 days at such an early stage. And would a baby revert back to the breast after 7 days of bottles?

My point would be that it's not just the week you will be away that you will be affected - you will have the pressure of expressing all that milk, you will be a wreck if baby rejects the bottle at any point after you introduce it. Everything will be planned and planned again just so you can go away for a free week.

Personally a weekend in Rhyll with my baby and not having all that pressure (or work colleagues and schedules) would be better.

Some things are more important than breastfeeding...!...(like general wellbeing and mental sanity if you really need a holiday)...and I speak as someone who breastfeed my children btw.

I'm no expert but yes milk supply could be adversely affected, but then again with perseverance, it should be possible to get it back into equilibrium again after returning from the trip. I don't think this should be a reason not to go.

Blimey people never cease to amaze me with their commitment to breastfeeding. I am very pro-breastfeeding but it takes my breath away to hear of someone pumping for 3 hours daily. Respect to all you pumping ladies.

And I hated every second of it, Franny [martyr emoticon]

I can believe it Pruni, I only tried it once and that was enough

Very useful for blocked ducts though. I did use it several times to clear them out.

Yes, happily.

I couldn't leave a baby for that long, in fact I wouldn't go away for a week and leave my 6yr olds. If you can then go for it.

if i were you hun i would go! your baby will be four months old and starting to interact, as long as your mother is happy, a week away will not kill you nor the baby and i think too many mothers become house bound etc because of their baby. by four months you will be much deserving a break! i am due my second very soon and will be making a point of booking at least a night away around that age being a mum does not mean you have to be there every second of your childs life and that no one else can look after your baby as good as you! but be wary that you may simply feel like not going then depending on your labour, your mood, how your baby is doing etc.

Go for it, wonderful, your Mum will be so proud to be looking after her grandchild. Life with children doesn't get any simpler, mine are 11 and 7, there are loads of holidays we'd like to go on but can't until the kids are older as they won't find them interesting.

No chance.