Would you leave you 4 month old at home, to go on a holiday of a lifetime

[sesame]

I have a dilemma. I have the opportunity to go on an all expenses paid holiday that we woudl seriosuly never ever be able to afford in our lives. The only problem is, its a work thing and the excursions etc that are compulsary are not child friendly, taking the baby is out of the question. My mom will gladly look after the baby, but am i crazy for even thinking about going????

heres me trying to justify it. we haven't been away for a couple of years and in the last 18 months have been through 2 miscarriages and 2 family deaths, which have all taken their toll on us. We really need this break but just can't afford a holiday.

what would you do????

There is absolutely no way that I could have done. At four months I wasn't even ready to leave my dd with anyone else for an hour, let alone for a week. You can't be sure how you will feel about being separated from your baby until he or she is actually here - before my dd arrived I didn't expect that leaving her would be quite the emotional wrench that it turned out to be

I would think that stopping breastfeeding for a week at such an early age could be problematic, apart from anything else; the baby may well refuse the breast when you come back, and you may equally well find it difficult to get your supply back again.

Do you have to make your decision now? If you have the option not to decide until the baby is born then I would do that - wait and see how you feel once the baby is here.

Personally absolutely not. ds is 9.5 months old and the longest I've been apart from him (except overnight) is 9 hours, partly because he's still bfed (the 9 hours he had to miss a feed ), but partly because I would just miss him far too much. Each to their own I guess, but I certainly couldn't have brought myself to be apart from him at that age for that long.

ps ds was a June baby 05, nice time to have a baby - watching beautiful sunrises bfing a gorgeous baby, good luck and enjoy

I remember the first time dp took ds out for a walk on his own. ds was only about a week old (the idea was for me to get an hours kip) but I couldn't settle and ended up traipsing the neighbourhood looking for them. By the time I found them I was in tears because I missed ds so much!! I bet once you've had the baby you won't be able to leave them either.

Also when pregnant I book tickets for steriophonics concert for dp birthday for the end of Sept (2005), ds was due in august and I thought 'no problem i'll leave the baby with someone for the evening' dp went with a friend in the end cus I couldn't leave him!

I don't think you'll want to when the time comes. I know people who have done weekends away at the beginning and cried all the way through.

The trouble is you won't be anything like your normal self this soon after having a baby.

I agree. Sesame, I'd bet you won't want to go when the baby comes. If you have to make a decision I'd tell them no. DP probably won't want to go either. Everything changes in those first few months and it will still be very small and dependent on you then..you just won't be able to do it.

just agreeing with what others have said, i bought myself a ticket for the reading festival when i was pregnant, thinking id have no problems leaving my 6 month old dd with my mum for 4 nights, but as it got nearer and nearer i was weepy and dreading it, i did go, but spent a fortune on credit for my mobile, had a miserable time, worried myself sick, and made dp drive us home a day early, personally, id never do it again, i dont plan to leave her again till shes about, ...erm..........23

I wouldn't. Holidays away from my 4 month olds wouldn't have felt like holidays, they would have felt like endurance tests. They would have been horrible. Even if it was the holiday of a lifetime.

If it's with work, how much of a holiday would it be really?

LOL, these posts are funny. I was a nervous wreak the first time I left DS with DP, I can't remember when that was now. I do remember the first time we both went out and let SIL babysit was when he was about 1. And we were both nervous wreaks.

2happy, how lovely about the sunrises, I'd never thought of that as DS was born in September so I went through the dark winder nights in that (still) blissful state, but I can see that must have been quite magical...Hmm, I might time my next one up!

I'll be really surprised if your partner still wants to go too Sesame.

oh and your breasts will be like footballs too

No - I couldn't have gone as I was breastfeeding. Also wouldn't have wanted to be away from them at such a young age. Why are the excursions compulsory? Surely any decent employer would be flexible?

I have a terrible confession...this was the real reason I didn't go to the London meetup. As it got closer I got weepy at the thought of being so far away from DS (not DP ) I'm so sorry! Please forgive me..

At 4 months I wuoldn;t have wanted to leave dd at all. She was 11 months old when I first left her for a week to go to San Francisco on a work trip. I found that incredibly hard even though I knew dd was safely at home with dh.

(MT - I'm an old romantic at heart)

F**k no.

No. Mind you, some days that's because I'm worried I wouldn't want to come back...

But largely because bfeeding and cuddling tiny babies are lovely things to do and I wouldn't want to jeopardise bfeeding (even though I'm stubborn enough to make it work if I had to).

no
madness

malory you are a withc

Another no from me but it's your life and you must want to or you wouldn't have considered it. Do want you think is right, if you're happy, do it.

I still would struggle now and my eldest are six, so a no from me too

In my experience and that of my friends, the three/four month mark was awful: you lose the adrenaline or whatever it is that keep you going for the first few months (I don't know but if it were bottled I would buy it). I got a bit of PND at that time and so did a fair few of my pals. I was just starting to realise the extent to which the next couple of years would not be like my pre-baby life but with a baby. The sleep deprivation was taking its toll...you get the picture.

OK not everyone will feel like that but shudder at the thought of being able to mentally cope with a week away! Much less physically. If you are b/f, are you going to be expressing ten times a day to keep up your supply (if you can), whilst on holiday? I wept and wept at being away from my 18-mnth-old for a week - I think if I'd left my four-mnth-old I might as well have acut my own arm off, tbh.

And I am not a melodramatic person, as a rule...

No sorry. Is it really not possible for you to take him/her with you and perhaps forgo some of the trips. Is it dh's work or both of yours, would you still be on Maternity leave ?

It is all very well for your mum toi offer to look after the baby and others say she has done it before etc , yes , but she was, presumably, a lot younger then and perhaps isn't going to be so enthusiastic about broken nights and may not be as in tune with your systems and ideas as you might like.

I think leaving a 4 month old would be easier than leaving my two now at 2.5 and 6

I wouldn't