Do we have a lone parents full time student thread?

[stabbystabbykillkill]

I am a single parent, two DC's at home, 2 at uni themselves.

Going into 2nd year and starting to panic about how I'm going to juggle everything

Anyone else?

I'm going back to year 2 (English)this week also. LP with two DD (7&9).

It will be a juggle again but looking forward to it. Got to shell out for a shitload of books once the student grant goes in-not looking forward to that bit

missmogwi - I had one textbook last year that if I'd bought it (I didn't I borrowed a copy off a lecturer) would have been £150 and you NEVER see them 2nd hand

Wonder if the grant will be in when it's supposed to - the date they've given me is 26th I'm beyond broke lol

Mines due on 19th it's showing in bank but I can't touch it. bastards
So looks like SF aren't behind with payments this year. Thank God, I'm skint!

None of my books are that expensive-luckily. I get most of amazon second hand at 1p but it's the delivery thats steep!

I know - amazon is great - I got some last year at 1p and £2-something delivery - one of my friends is doing the same course part time and she's doing the modules this year so I said she could have those books. She wanted to pay me for them but I hadn't the heart since I wrote all over them lol

wish mine was due on the 19th that's a full week earlier than mine lol

Are you with RBS? A couple of people off my course have had theirs today as it goes in quicker for some reason.

They'll be out there now, spending it and everything

The most challenging thing I think is getting time to study - uni is an hour and half commute from door to door (just about) for me and by the time I drive up and down and home and pick up kids and make supper and homeworks.... there's not a lot of time left.

Oh and yes I'm skint as all get out.

I'm pretty lucky in that the commutes not too bad, and the days I'm not in uni I can spend studying. On the days I am in uni juggling kids, after school clubs and the rest of it is a bit of a 'mare! I'm considering getting a slow cooker after all the hype on here!

With the grants etc I can manage without working, although I do feel a bit guilty about this sometimes as I have always worked.

The level at which we were expected to work last year came as a bit of a shock to many of us who had completed an Access course. The secondary reading and the faff of referencing to a much higher standard took a lot of getting used to.

Although, as I seem to say a lot, going back into education has been one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Here's to us!

all round I think

I have a slow cooker btw it's a godsend. mine is just a Tesco cheapy but it's great

i think the trouble i'm going to have is the commute (if i get the studentship) - i'd have to get a bus into town, walk across town to train station, get a train and then another bus at the other end. long in terms of time but more importantly hugely expensive i'm thinking. the place comes with funding but transport costs could soon bankrupt me i think. need to stop burying my head in the sand and work out costs.

non-patronising well done to everyone for getting back into uni

my commute time-wise is an hour and a half in the morning with the rush hour and depending on when I finish sometimes I can get home in an hour and 15 minutes but since I am scheduled to finish after 4pm two of the three days I reckon it'll take an hour and a half.

And it costs a fortune in diesel - I swapped to a diesel because my petrol car was costing a bomb - it's an 85 mile round trip door to door.

The transport costs are very expensive if you have to travel and if you have kids you can't uproot and live up near uni if your kids have school and stuff.

i've just looked into it - it would probably be cheaper for me to rent an extra room near uni and have two homes than use public transport not an option though obviously as ds might just miss having a parent 5 days a week.

Well I suppose he might It costs me over £60 quid a week in diesel

i mean he's 4 - is that old enough to have a key and let yourself in and out? i could leave his meals ready for him to heat up in the microwave and the tv left on cartoon network 24/7

i may have found a cheaper way using coaches but the campus appears to be in the middle of nowhere so getting from coach station to their might be interesting. will take a long time but bring the costs down to about £8-9 a day if it works.

£60! that's a hefty chunk of a budget isn't it?

It's a horrendous amount. My heart sinks every Monday - I have a routine that I stop at a Tescos filling station I drive past and fill up every Monday (at least my points balance at Tescos benefits) but I could honestly weep when it stops at £60-ish.

at leaving him a key - my ex doesn't even want my nearly-13 to walk to mine and sit for an hour I thought I could get her to put baked potatoes on so the dinner would be ready quicker but he threw a blue fit.

I can't do public transport at all - the times don't work because the first train wouldn't get me into uni until the lecture was 15 minutes in and that's not allowing for walking from the train station up to uni plus it's expensive. And the bus is worse.

And then I have to pick the kids up 2 days from the ex and since we're very rural there's no bus out to his so I'd have to take the car regardless.

i don't drive unfortunately.

looking at it all it doesn't look that feasible on paper as it were but if i get the funding i have got to make it work somehow as this is an amazing opportunity.

realistically for my research i need to do a lot of interviews and such so that will be a load more travel too.

the thing is it's important you know? it's do something or be stuck like this forever. wish there was more support for lone parents going back to study/training. for so many of us it's our only option for moving on and being able to support ourselves and get 'into' the world itms.

i would be getting a studentship with funding which is £14k pa which sounds great and it IS great but my expenses are going to rocket and because it's funded that way rather than a grant for term time i won't be able to claim anything in the holidays etc. it will work out that i'm slightly better off but with a fortune to pay in travel costs and childcare. yikes.

even with the public transport i'm still banking on them being flexible about hours in at uni because i won't be able to get in till late. on the application there was a bit about the expectation being that you would spend three full days in uni. i can't get there in time for a normal start and would have to leave early so i'm really hoping they'll accept a sort of flexi hours arrangement whereby i'm in for a number of hours over the week rather than 3 fixed days.

life was very simple before i became a mother - now it's rather more complicated - hope they get that.

SAF - I'm sure they will. I have had great success in the past with organising seminars and stuff - I got shifted into the group that had the seminar either just before or just after the lecture so that I wasn't coming up to uni and hanging about for ages like a knotless thread.

But it is just so so much more complicated once you have kids.

Sounds like you have a fantastic opportunity and yes - if we don't take these opportunities then we'd just be stuck for ever and ever in a dead end minimum wage job - which if you're like me and have no family support means it'd hardly be worth working if I had to pay for childcare

The Uni I'm at (MMU) has been great with the mature/student parents. They put us all in the seminar straight after the lectures which makes a big difference. A couple of student parents on my course have had special help when issues have arisen in personal life, luckily I'm very boring and not a sniff of any personal probsspinsterso I've been ok!
I just get the train in and then a 20 min walk just in time for lecture. I am in the middle of driving lessons but reading what you say Stabby I'm prob better off!

It sounds like a right faff for you two with the long trek in plus costs.

The other bit I hate the most is relying on the ex to pick the kids up two days a week from school and the fact that he rubs it in and makes it look like he's doing this massive favour. But he forgets that it cuts both ways and that there's loads of days that I take the girls on "his" days in the holidays so he can work.

It is the small things like seminars just after lectures that make a big difference.

It'll be worth it in the end though, huh?

I've had to ask my ex to take them and pick up to school one day a week, he's going there anyway with his other DC and I'll drop them at his on way to station. I hated asking tbh, but get zero child support so I expect him to help in other ways.

It will be worth it in the end, better than being stuck in hateful job few years down the line wishing we'd done it!

ds's father is not in our lives so not an issue. will have to ask my parents for help though which is problematic - lots of subtle strings generally come up when i rely on them for anything. lucky to have the help though.

what i am hoping is that the csa might come through sometime soon as that would make a real difference. i made my claim 7.5 months ago now

They are investigating mine at the moment, as his supposed income of £5 per week is for want of a better word bollocks.

Hope you get something sorted soon, it's infuriating isn't it. Even a bit of money could make a difference.

I too rely on my parents for support now and again. I am probably better off and more supported than when I was with ex, which says a lot.

I'm lucky I have good friends who would help in an emergency but I don't like to ask.

Ex just makes such a HUUUUUUUGE deal that he picks them up two days from school at 4 and 4.45 and takes them to his and I won't be there until about 5.30

i am apparently selfish and not putting my children first

If I could afford childcare I would get it, but I can't and I think if I had any extra money it would be better spent on a cleaner lol