Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Which stage or process in parenting do you think you made a right old mess of?

198 replies

notanumber · 25/03/2011 10:42

I found potty training far and away the most difficult and stressful thing I have had to do as a parent. The only time I have ever hit one of my children has been over struggling to get him to use the toilet.

I don't think that I'm Mother of the Year or anything I do really, but false modesty forces me to declare otherwise, but I think I'm basically a pretty good parent. When it came to potty training though, I was a total disaster - I should have reported myself to Social Services.

Yet I've had friends who have breezed through it the bastards. However, they have really struggled with, say, breastfeeding which I loved.

Obviously this is so far - I am aware that there is probably many a nightmare scenario just waiting for me. Grin

So what about you? Which stage or process did you find most unbearably awful challenging?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
RubberDuck · 25/03/2011 10:45

I spent most of the baby/toddler years uptight and fretting over the slightest thing.

Both kids are now school age and finally I feel like I can do this parenting thing (most days Grin) and I'm actually enjoying spending time with them and having proper conversations. I even enjoy their choices of telly without my brain bleeding out through my ears. (Phineas and Ferb FTW!).

Hoping it doesn't all go to pot when they become teens Grin

BeerTricksPotter · 25/03/2011 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 25/03/2011 11:11

I've completely buggered up the food thing I think. Dd would eat anything as a baby, and as I have always worked full time I have relied on her a variety of getting healthy meals during the week. She is 7 now, and has got more and more picky. As she still has a 3 course school lunch, and then a snack of fruit and a biscuit at 4pm, she usually has something light when she gets in from school - beans on toast, crumpets, an omelette. Apart from a roast dinner on a sunday -where the only meat she will eat is chicken - I cannot get her to eat any kind of family meal - spag bol, sausages, casseroles. She refuses point blank to try anything. I want to start us all eating together in the evening, but am clueless at what we are actually going to eat!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
Caz10 · 25/03/2011 17:40

Currently potty training and finding it a horrendous nightmare!! So not very many stages "done" so far as DD only 3, but I bf till recently and was a smug "baby-led-weaner" which was a relaxed and enjoyable experience. Potty training has led to tears and sleepless nights - for me!!

togarama · 26/03/2011 00:40

I think we've been fine at most stages so far (2 years) but the number of people who roll their eyes and mutter indicates that everyone else thinks otherwise...

BabyDubsEverywhere · 26/03/2011 01:09

0-3

Guess how old my DS is Grin

Rillyrillygoodlooking · 26/03/2011 07:13

I am with you on potty training. DS is 3.5 and still in nappies, we tried to potty train at Christmas, for 5 weeks and it got worse over time until I was shouting at him every time he weed on the floor.

Also, when DD was born I was totally crap with DS, just let DH take over and I felt like I abandoned him. To be fair to me (!) I had a third degree tear with an infection and DD was quite demanding especially at bed time. I really regret the way I was now though.

Bonsoir · 26/03/2011 07:15

Weaning from breast to solids (no bottle). Very complicated, if you ask me!

ManicPanic · 26/03/2011 13:27

Ballsed up weaning.

Did fine with potty training.

I have a child that has been dry day and night since 2 and a half, but can only eat chips and ice cream from your average restaurant menu. She is not fussy, just very limited. Sad

ManicPanic · 26/03/2011 13:39

Oh Portofino, I feel your pain!

People say dd is 'fussy,' she's not, fussy is where a child will insist that they only eat chips and chocolate in the hope of being fed exactly that - dd eats a wide range of fruit and some veg but struggles in the protein and carbs department. It's like living with a supermodel. She narrowed her food choices down at about 18months old and has been stuck since then - she has tried perhaps 3 things since then and she's 5 now. I have tried everything. She is never offered an alternative meal - never has been - but frankly she'd be in hospital now if I didn't give her what she will actually eat. I have tried forcing, coaxing, yelling and weeping softly Sad She is regularly presented with untried foods, and will quietly ignore them. This reassures me that she is at least not food phosbic. Current policy is to shrug and leave it be. Dh occasionally makes noises about Sorting It Out and What Are We Going To Do and I'm Going To Do Something but to be honest he can't frigging cook so what is he going to do?

I'm still please that she tried strawberry sauce on a knickerbocker glory last week and ate it. Grin

ManicPanic · 26/03/2011 13:39

phobic not phosbic Confused

Species8472 · 26/03/2011 13:58

Er, all of it? Smile

Meglet · 26/03/2011 14:16

Most of it (4yo and 2yo), except food.

I have no idea how to do 'time-out', walking sensibly, panic over potty training, no TV, I tolerated bf and haven't a clue how to do dressing up or imaginative play.

ManicPanic · 26/03/2011 17:16

Meglet if only we could do some kind of part exchange... I'll send dd to you for Food Re-Education and you send me yours and I will do imaginative play whilst dressing up on a time-out.

Sorted. Wink

Actually I cannot do 'making this toy / plastic animal talk.' I hate it and always have. Anything else, I can do, lego, craft, park, playing in the garden, dressing up, tickling, talking nonsense - anything but pretending to be a plastic stegosaurus. That is Dh's Job.

petisa · 27/03/2011 21:51

Have loved weaning onto solids as did blw and found it easy, love playing, but was horrible harridan of hell with poor dd1 from about the eighth month of pregnancy with dd2, till, erm, now... so easy to be patient and playful with your wriggling toddler when there isn't a baby screaming in your ear.

purpleknittingmum · 27/03/2011 21:59

I think I have muddled through every stage but where I currently am, dealing with a stroppy madam of a 14 year old I am finding extremely difficult

Prunnhilda · 27/03/2011 22:00

Breastfeeding (did not seek help, should have, wish someone could have taken me under their wing at that awful point in life tbh!).

Probably weaned onto solids too early, but entirely unconvinced that all babies MUST not be fed any food until 6m as this makes no sense and research is limited.

Potty training I am happy with. Tried the 'boot camp' approach as supported on MN at the time and found it unintuitive and highly stressful. Preferred to let wilful child do it in his own time, no stress, but raised eyebrows with my parents.

I have consistently overestimated ds's ability to process what I say to him and that's given me a LOT of strife ("WHY can't he just LEARN not to hit people with sticks?!") but heard recently that teachers are told they have to re-iterate safety information each and every time for each and every separate task because children can't actually extrapolate until ?15 or something. So I give him a break now and just repeat myself a bit less wearily.

hormonesnomore · 27/03/2011 22:03

It started when they were newborns and went downhill from there!

Seriously, if I could do it all again with the benefit of hindsight and mumsnet I'm sure I'd make a better job of it, but you just have to learn along with your children and muddle through somehow.

Mine are all adults now and they're lovely so I must have done some things right Smile.

rookiemater · 27/03/2011 22:05

Could have done a lot better with food. DS had jars when at childminders and we didn't integrate him into family meals so wasn't used to eating normal stuff. Also found out one evening that DH would give him 4- 5 different choices if he didn't like what he had.
As a result he is uber fussy. He is getting better, maybe due to age, but also because I'm working less hours now so have more time and energy to devote to family meals, but its still hard work.

Potty training I did ok but purely by accident. I wanted to do it at my pace i.e. before DS was ready but had a bad time due to an illness and medication and basically had nappy free time and pull ups but didn't do the final bit. One day DS just announces that he wants to wear pants and that was that.

MummyDoIt · 27/03/2011 22:11

Potty training was my nightmare. Both DSs were very late to train. With DS1, I tried every method under the sun and stressed out so much. Even when he mastered wees, he still continued to poo in his pants until literally the week before he started primary school. I had such a nightmare with daytime training, I didn't even attempt nighttime, just left them both in pull-ups till they were dry of their own accord. I still feel like I failed big time at potty training, even though I tried my hardest.

On the plus side, I am Smuggy McSmug about bedtime. Mine have always gone to bed and gone straight to sleep at a set time, even when away from home. Relatives and friends with less obliging sleepers are always very envious!

thebeansmum · 28/03/2011 14:09

If had time again would have done sooo much differently bla bla BUT, just to (hopefully!) make people who have fussy/picky eaters feel a bit better..I know someone who has 3 kids - 5, 8 and 11. These children will only eat chips. Oh, and bread. Literally, chips and bread. All of 'em. What's worse, they only like 'certain' chips, and refuse to accompany parents to restaurants/cafes unless they know of, and approve of, the chips there. OMFG. Parents tell the story to anyone and everyone, thinking it's cute, funny and love the fact they are bucking what's the norm!

hatwoman · 28/03/2011 14:15

the teen years. and I'm not even there yet. just have a 10-year old wannabe teen. the last year has been BY FAR the hardest parenting year of my life. It's complex, it's gruelling, it's relentless. It's heart breaking, worrying and guilt-inducing. It's scary, exhausting and draining.

heigh ho. only another 8 years.

triton · 28/03/2011 14:18

yup another potty training failure here. I broke all the rules. Got stressed, got angry and was generally not calm. He is still in pull ups at night (he is 5) and I feel a bit guilty about his day time traning so I am not pushing him at all with this. I look at some friends who left their boys until they were ready (some were over three) and they seem to have been more relaxed about it. I have a dd 22months and I am waiting until she asks to come out of nappies I think!

I was rubbish with ds when he was a newborn (he was pfb) and was much better with my dd - that makes me feel guilty

However I have been good about food I think

triton · 28/03/2011 14:19

don't say that hatwoman! Mine are only 5 and 22 months and I am exhausted - I had hoped it got easier

omnishambles · 28/03/2011 14:21

All of them are a bit 'could do better' - I mean really ok on the sleeping/weaning/eating/potty training but both dc have angry streaks that I know are down to me and my shouting. Sad Its just so hard - every day I say I will try harder but then its just so fucking tiring and they fight with eachother so much - applying the Sibling Rivalry stuff just goes out the window.