Which stage or process in parenting do you think you made a right old mess of?

[notanumber]

I found potty training far and away the most difficult and stressful thing I have had to do as a parent. The only time I have ever hit one of my children has been over struggling to get him to use the toilet.

I don't think that I'm Mother of the Year or anything I do really, but false modesty forces me to declare otherwise, but I think I'm basically a pretty good parent. When it came to potty training though, I was a total disaster - I should have reported myself to Social Services.

Yet I've had friends who have breezed through it the bastards. However, they have really struggled with, say, breastfeeding which I loved.

Obviously this is so far - I am aware that there is probably many a nightmare scenario just waiting for me.

So what about you? Which stage or process did you find most unbearably awful challenging?

Great question. I think I am great with babies (I am fine with little sleep, going with the flow, breastfeeding on demand etc which seemed to suit mine). However I am less good with toddlers. They are so unreasonable and I think need quite firm structure and boundaries at that age, which as a go with flow relaxed sort of person I wasn't great at providing!

Better with children I think. Proper interesting little people.

(I am scarred by both experiences of potty training, and if I ever feel broody I remind myself about it. That and the wrestling in and out of car seats is enough to put me off)

My eldest is nearly 8 - I am an optimist and think it will be plain sailing from here on in I imagine fondly, for example, that I will be wonderful with teenagers.

Now that my children are adults- DC1 got a degree but at 25 is still working PT temp jobs as and when; DC2 dropped out of uni and works at McDs; and DC4 dropped out of 6th form and works at McDs - I would say all of it :(

DC3 currently at uni, failed Y2 but is retaking this year. Waiting to see whether one out of 4 can actually manage to get it together.

Worried now what to do with DC5 having made a total hash of the other 4. (DH doesn't agree)

Having two under two was pretty hairy. Luckily my DS was a good baby.

I can be smug about potty training (but not night training for DD, that took about 2 years!).

DS is now 4 1/4, he starts school in spetember, he's quite a challenge, stroppy, hard to entertain for a day.

The bit between conception and university graduation?!

Waving to thumbwitch - mucho sympathies on the sleep front. Dd2 is also just a little too used to being in our bed, but honestly, moving house/country several times as you and I have, I think you have to give them some allowances. You'll get there!

Please could someone with a teenager tell me that the teenage years aren't ALL bad....

Sleep...we went with the flow too much, indulged DD too much (falling to sleep on the boob), were too "nice" to her. She's 2.8 and has only slept through for about 8 months of her life. Still having issues now.

Potty training...still going through that at the moment, supported by her nursery, and she has good and bad days. Ask me again in a few months!

Being a parent is/ was fine (DS is 2.4); being a wife to DH at same time is/ was bloody impossible. We are great parents separately but we're not that good at working as team so I think that the hardest aspect of being a parent is going to be presenting a united front when it's going to really matter in years to come.

Sorry to bring the bad news. Sailed through foods, potty training, nursery, primary etc. In fact early years were wonderful.
The hardest by far are the teenage years when you lose a lot of influence on what they do outside the home and they show interest in/experiment with things you'd rather they didn't.

This is a really good thread... DD is 5 months and she's my first... Usually I thank my lucky stars we made it through the day.

I see I have a lot to come!! Xxx

Haven't got to teenage years, but I can imagine they will be hell, especially when I think about how dreadful I was.
We did struggle with breastfeeding to start with and it was awful to have a baby crying and crying and not able to feed properly, I expected him to have died of starvation every morning for the first three months.
However, it was OK after that.
So far I have found the terrible threes the worst, worst, worst. It was hell, DS would hit me, spit at me, scream at me, stamp, shout, break things - actually it has given me a bit of preparation for the teenage years.
Four, five and six have been divine.

I deeply regret all the anxiety that plagued the first year of both their lifes.

I think it was partly they both had reflux and I had an undiagnosed under active thyroid.

I want their first year back . Actually, you can keep the first 4 months, that's just shit but the rest, I want that back and to enjoy it more.

My DD is now 15 months and I want to pop her in a jar of pickle and keep her exactly like this.

I know I can't have another as it sends me potty so I feel sad watching my DS nearly 4 and DD leaving the baby stuff slowly behind her. STOP GROWING SO FAST!

With DS, potty trained night and day with no fuss or accidents by 2.2 (im not lying, he just took to it so well) and he ate/eats a good variety of food.

takes a smug moment before moving onto DD.....

Totally fecked up DD with food. Made no where near the effort. Plodded through it without lifting a book or making the variety of meals I made and froze for DS - result is, she eats next to nothing and regards new foods as the devil. Fruit - Forget it, Veg, maybe a spoonful of peas at a push and she is slowly getting worse. Soon she will just be eating toast.

I already know she will be in nappies at school!

So far, I'm enjoying the teenage years, bearing in mind that ds is 14.5, so still quite a way to go yet. He's easy-going, doing well at school, mischievous but no worse, and appears to tell me most things that are going on, including stuff where he thinks I'm going to be mad. I've been waiting for about 3 years for it to hit, but so far fine.
Thing I messed up worse is food, my kids (including the teen) are incapable of sitting at the table and behaving. They're fussy, noisy and very very very slow. It started on ds first birthday and has never improved, regardless of what I do, with the other 2 following his example. I'll settle for that instead of teenage strops though.

I am amazed by how many people are blaming themselves for their dc's not eating/sleeping well or for being difficult to potty train. I think they are what they are and I doubt most people on here are "responsible" for their child's reluctance to eat or to use the potty. I brought my two dd's up the same - one eats really well, the other doesn't. Same with my niece and nephew. I find it sad how many people are beating themselves up over these issues.

Slugz that doesn't sound too bad.
I don't think (big generalisation here) boys are as noisy and shouty as teenage girls. It's all he silence and secrecy that worries me (had a big brother) whilst, meanwhile, driving clapped out bangers along the wrong side of the road egged on by their mates.
I'll be relieved when DS reaches 21 in piece.

i found the classic stage of 2-3ish the hardest, as had dd fulttime, no preschool hours, the temper tantrums the potty training

uch easier since shes turned 3 and can go to toilet herself goes to preschool, easier to communicate with, had less paddys

i also really enoyed 6months to 18months age as dd used to nap in hte afternoons

oh dear i sound a bit lazy dont i lol

I think I made a right hash of potty training - DD went through a phase of only wanting to poo in a nappy, but wouldn't try to go once she had a nappy on, and it stressed me out so much I ended up going ballistic on multiple occasions. It was a recipe for disaster, but blew over very quickly and she had no toileting problems after that (at 2.6). Whereas feeding and weaning I think I did a good job of, and she has rewarded me by being a bloody awful eater.

I therefore think the answer is to parent very very badly, and hope it all turns out for the best. She went to the shop by herself today and I think one of the other school mums is going to report me to social service, so all going according to plan ...

always find the hardest stage the one I'm in at the moment - until I get the hang of it and then don't know what the fuss was all about

having said that... sleep issues have been the worst, most torturous ( is that a word?) fiasco ever. all crap sleepers, dd3 has just slept through night for the first time in her life ( 18m) after 3 weeks of pretty tough sleep bootcamp. can't enjoy anything during day when body and mind are so desperate for sleep so.. prob made hash of lots of other stages but have no memory if them at all...

Aha, mystery solved! Ds is a model teenager because I cocked up pretty much everything. (And I'm only half joking.)

I did a rubbish job of weaning my first DS onto solids. Am SmuglyMcSmug (love this xpression!) about both DS sleeping!

tallulah success shouldn't be measured solely by educational attainment and job status (I don't think anyway).

I found it a daily challenge when DS joined the scene, when DD1 was 2.5 yrs.
I think I'm the sort of person who gets easily overwhelmed by too many demands.

I so wanted to do a good job in parenting them both, but found they both seemed to need me so much in those early days. I found the first year with two really challenging. Going to toddler groups most mornings with them both helped me through that year, as well as friendships, and DD1 having a couple of sessions at playgroup.
It gradually got easier as DS grew up a little, and they started playing together and becoming friends, which has been lovely to see (most days !)

Breast-feeding though was a breeze from the first moment with them both !
The only problem there was persuading them to ever stop

Agree that teenage years are by far the hardest. Standing by & watching your kids make bad decisions as they won't or don't have to listen to you & accepting that you have to let them go a bit is so hard.

When your teen is out and about its hard not to worry.

Teenagers. Teenagers are a fecking nightmare. They knock toddlers and babies into a cocked hat.

I think they are easiest from about 7-11

Oh no ! I hope you're wrong FN
Mine are 11 and 9