Which stage or process in parenting do you think you made a right old mess of?

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I found potty training far and away the most difficult and stressful thing I have had to do as a parent. The only time I have ever hit one of my children has been over struggling to get him to use the toilet.

I don't think that I'm Mother of the Year or anything I do really, but false modesty forces me to declare otherwise, but I think I'm basically a pretty good parent. When it came to potty training though, I was a total disaster - I should have reported myself to Social Services.

Yet I've had friends who have breezed through it the bastards. However, they have really struggled with, say, breastfeeding which I loved.

Obviously this is so far - I am aware that there is probably many a nightmare scenario just waiting for me.

So what about you? Which stage or process did you find most unbearably awful challenging?

Ummmmm. MOst of it!

Mine are only 2.9 and 9 months.

THe only thing that hasn't been a fricking nightmare, actually, was potty training. DD1 picked it up in a week at 2.6 and hasn't looked back, no accidents (so proud of her )

Was crap at breastfeeding - DD1 was hospitalised at 6 days because I was so crap at it. DD2 had tongue tie and I failed miserably again after a few months.

Giving birth, nope couldn't do that either - forceps and CS respectively.

On the plus side, I give my children lots and lots of love and I genuinely believe that that's the most important thing

Potty training with DD was stress personified.. With DS I left it a little bit longer, took it slower and it went really well. Also night dry almost immediately.
Food has worked well in this house..
..but the little terrors still wake up looking for a drink of water several times in the week.. I think I never trained them to go back to sleep without boob as babies..

All of it! For one child or another.

If I could stick the good bits of all three childhoods together I'd be a perfect mother.

I messed up the food as well, but just with DS1. He is now 12 and quite overweight. He is a complusive eater/ secret eater/ emotional eater- you name it. I beat myself up over the clean your plate/ just one more spoonful which I think must have massively contributed to this. ALso, guilt-ridden over cigs smoked in early pregnancy before I realised I was pg (it was unplanned). I read somewhere afterwards that smoking can inhibit appetite suppressants in the brain, basically he has no 'off' switch and doesn't know when he is full. My two other dc are normal/ skinny and stop eating when they have had enough and don't obsess while eating their lunch over what we will be cooking for dinner.
B-feeding & potty-training - doddle for me, I b/f my third for two years.

mamsnet think I will take that approach to potty training with dd.

Naps. Totally messed up there, they just don't happen, and 18 months later we'll never get on track. Haven't got to potty training yet. Thank goodness CM was there to do weaning, otherwise would have messed that up too.

2-3 years - no patience for toddler tantrums, potty training etc... Love babies, love them when they get to 4 and can have proper chats. Can't stand not being able to reason with them at 2/3!!! I feel much better now they are 6 and 4 and therefore I have more patience.

Sleeping/potty training/feeding went really well - its the rudeness and general 'arseyness' (is that a word ) of a ten year old that I am finding hell ........... and anyone who says how boys are so cuddly and loving towards their mums can sod right off . Roll on time to leave home !

The bit between 9 months and 2 years. Going through it for a second time and I'm not doing it well. I should be looking at my beautiful little boy and delighting in his cuteness instead I'm crying because the constant walking around with him and removing him from cupboards is driving me to despair. I just find this stage so difficult. At least because I have been through it before I know that it gets easier but I feel guilty because I want to live in the moment I don't want to wish the next 18 months away.

Does it count if you wait till the child does it? I have not actually 'done' any stages - my 2.5 year old is dry day and night, a fantastic eater and only wakes once a night for a wee and cuddle. All decided by her! My 13 month old has just started eating solids (to the horror of my HV) and finally sleeping through only waking twice again in her own sweet time. I have a horrible feeling its all down hill from here though................

Oh thaigreencurry, your post did bring back some suppressed memories there.
It doesn't last, does it? I remember we had to tie bedpreads over chests of drawers because otherwise ds (between about 1.6 and 3) would just be in at everything. Took all books off low bookshelves. Cupboard locks everywhere. We had what we called the sacrificial cupboard where we put the tupperware and salad spinner type things, which he'd get into and play and throw things out of while I cooked. It was so wearing and so constant.
TBH, I hated that phase but I don't think I did it badly, it was just relentless for a couple of years.
Stay strong!

I was smuggyMcSmug about BLW which went really well but dd1 still went on to be pretty fussy.

Not doing very well with dd2 (6mo) and sleeping and numerous books have convinced me this is my fault for 'accidentally parenting' my children or some such bullshit when I should just be ignoring them (I do try too as often as possible ). I'm not doing very well at 3 due to pg and new baby, lack of sleep and low tolerance for demands and constant talking. Like someone else said I should be finding her enchanting but it is just exhausting. And dh has to mainly deal with her, I also feel like I have abandoned her. I hope it sorts itself out when dd2 is less dependent on me.

Teens, teens, teens. Everything else was a doodle until we got there. Well, a lot easier any way. My relaxed 'let's talk about this' approach didn't cut the mustard with two hormonal, angry, world-hating teenagers, who discovered booze and bad crowds. And being three years apart in age, it seemed to go on forever. I was a wreck by the time we were through the worst (they are both in their twenties now and lovely)

I am much stricter with DS2 (7).

first - bfding just got to 8 mths. but not a breeze like no. 2,, great eater gpod potty,

2nd - sleep sleep sleep, but possible apnoea or something, blw went well but he is far too picky!
3rd time lucky if i have another...

I feel I've done ok. I have a high spirited DD though so my counting-to-ten/biting-my-lip thing could be better on some days.

I've been smug with a lot of things as I felt the early years (birth to 3) were the calmest for me.
Sleep/weaning/toilet-training no hassles really but at 4 yrs DD still needs pull ups or pjama jams most nights otherwise there are accidents, so I guess I didn't toilet train successfully.
I blame myself for that because I just expected it to happen naturally.
It doesn't. Or at least it didn't with me.
There's a big difference between staying dry during the day and what happens at night.
That was a big shock surprise.

If I could turn back time, that would be the one thing I know I would change or work harder at.

Having said all that, I imagine the teen years will beat this hands down

Not much to go on yet, DS is only 21mo. But I ballsed up sleeping from day one. I would love to go back and have another go at the first couple of months.

One day I'll learn to let go of it, I hope.

Sleep is hard. Ds 15 months helps me load the washing machine, put bags in bins he copies copies. But likes to be held to go to sleep. Cries if not. One day he will learn to do it by himself! (but wouldn't go back oooh no, the sleep deprivation was intense)

I think the teen years are the trickiest especially with having a 17 yr old daughter - the PMT and going out and staying over at her friends for parties. The 20 year old wasn't as bothered, he did go through a 'partying' stage at 14 and is making up for it at Uni I think! They've never been in trouble with the police so I hope the youngest who is 9 tomorrow is as well behaved as his sister and brother if he wants to be in the police force one day.

Its a wonder I'm not as grey as I should be!

Well my teenage is son is really fussy about food, if I had my time again he would eat the same stuff as us from word go. salt, sugar, chips and all. As it was, I ponced about with special meals for babies, and he still expect the same treatment now, talking about rod for my own back .

Current trials are getting a Dd 1 to work for her AS levels, and deciding exactly how much vodka it is reasonable for to take to a party, enough to look cool but not too much to get legless, and to think I thought formula feeding was the work of the devil.

Temper tantrums - aged 2 & 3.

Oh, my heart is starting to race just thinking about it again.. DS's tantrums were awful, and out of control, and always seemed to take place in front of my calmest friends, and I always looked so completely hopeless trying to deal with this out of control wild little person, whilst their children seemed perfect.

I looked such a bad mother, but looking back I think I probably did OK, it would have been really difficult for anyone to deal with.

oh yes and staying up late on a Saturday night with out a drink so that you can collect them to make sure they get home safely.

I find really lowering your expectations really helps! But despite my best Annabel Karmel led weaning efforts and the wide range of food we eat, my 5 year old has a seriously restricted diet and still dosnt sleep well. Breast feeding and potty training were a total breeze though. Hardly had to intervene with toilet training, he did it himself. Probably nothing to do with me! Weaning from breast feeding also no problem - he gave up himself at 18 months. But I cant under emphasise the awfulness of his bad sleeping :(

I think all kids and all stages of parenting present their different challenges dont they?

I never bothered about toilet training too much (aside from the initial horrors of the potty training boot camp on here) and am not worried about night-time training because my brother wet the bed for years and years and it was thought to be emotional, not physical. My parents had NO idea about the physiology of it and treated him quite badly, I think. I know it can be genetic.

My dad even asked me if I thought ds wakes up and pisses on the bed deliberately. Er, no, dad, no I don't.

yes GothMummy I did the Annabel Karmel cookery thing, fat lot of good it did me and breast fed till well over one.