Which stage or process in parenting do you think you made a right old mess of?

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I found potty training far and away the most difficult and stressful thing I have had to do as a parent. The only time I have ever hit one of my children has been over struggling to get him to use the toilet.

I don't think that I'm Mother of the Year or anything I do really, but false modesty forces me to declare otherwise, but I think I'm basically a pretty good parent. When it came to potty training though, I was a total disaster - I should have reported myself to Social Services.

Yet I've had friends who have breezed through it the bastards. However, they have really struggled with, say, breastfeeding which I loved.

Obviously this is so far - I am aware that there is probably many a nightmare scenario just waiting for me.

So what about you? Which stage or process did you find most unbearably awful challenging?

I'm afraid it is going to be the teen years by all accounts of my friends who have teens...my eldest is heading that way and I am finding it hard.
I was talking to a friend who has (almost) 3 teens and we decided that the early years are more physically gruelling (sleep deprivation, carrying, pushing buggies up hills, onto buses, etc. changing sheets in the middle of the night...and on and on and on...) with the teens coming in strongly on the mental and emotional torture. If you have your children with big age gaps, like my friend with a 20, 14, 11 and 5 year old you can have it all going on at the same time!
I think I have messed up staying calm and being firm but fair and consistent. Too much shouting!

I didn't have any major traumas with potty training - luckily I have a family of camels so they have both been dry day and night from the age of about 2.5. Feeding - dd1 has always been a brilliant feeder, dd2 less so but ok.

The hardest bit for me was definitely the first five months with dd1. I just had NO IDEA what I was doing, she cried and screamed at night, she was such an unhappy baby until I stopped breastfeeding and started weaning her. Since then, she has been a doll (now 5 and almost perfect! I LOVE love love this age) (until she has one of her tantrums....) (or wakes at night with a nightmare)

With dd2, this is defintely the worst age. She is 3 and very stubborn. I am feeling the strain trying to get them both ready in time for the school run in the morning. This morning I just wanted to weep when I had to go back to the house for the third time to avoid a tantrum over tights/coat/wrong shoes etc.

Dreading the teenage years.

breatfeeding and when they start school it's much harder

Getting our eldest son (4) to eat! Weaning was a challenge as our house was being demolished and re-built around us, and we (I say we, it was all my husbands work) survived for 9 months using a microwave and a camping gas ring - he is a culinary genius! However, I do wonder whether the lack of a family kitchen environment contributed towards his apathy and suspicion to try new food (or any green veg!) I live in hope!

Teens - whether it's making sure they work hard enough at school, the hormone bit or the loggerheads over rooms or friends stuff. Two years age difference also means A levels and GCSEs coinciding, then 2 at university at the same time. Oh, and learning to drive! It's also the most expensive - full price for holidays, cinema, laptops,bus, university.......

I have 3 of them, and wouldn't swap them for the world. Just wish they were lovely all of the time.

In my opinion, little children = little problems, big children = big problems. The type of challenges facing teenagers are probably much more significant than how long it takes to potty train your child or how much your toddler eats!

My children are only 7 and 8 now but I see my friend's teenage children and their problems make my little worries pale into insignificance .

First: Bfed to 13 months, terrible sleeper, terrible eater, average p training
2nd (3.5 years later): Bfed to 12 months, terrible sleeper, terrible eater, terrible p training (still on-going)

No chance of a third for me!

Totally messed up breastfeeding, then gave up in a panic after a week. Really wish I could go back and have another go at that! Weaning wasn't much better, undiagnosed reflux, seems so obvious now but I didn't have a clue at the time.

Potty training however was no problem, DS just decided he was too big for nappies and that was that.

Early teens, don't seem to be doing too badly with the eldest atm, so hopefully will be doing alright with DD2 in a few years

My oldest is 4 and I'm finding the mithering quite wearing. I'm not very patient with the 'what can I have while I'm waiting for tea?' and 'can I have a lolly' requests. Dunno why, I'm fairly patient about most things but this aspect of it all really gets under my skin.

I think I am making a mess now with ds who is 8.5. He is very sweet and has lots of qualities, but tantrums like he's never done when he was a toddler and seems to actively want to get into trouble with me.
I feel like I am screwing up, because at the moment I am trapped in a vicious circle of him tantrumming/me getting upset and uber nagging and it is not working, of course.

Another challenging time has been the first few months of motherhood, as I was constantly sleep deprived and felt very lonely.

I was a seriously troublesome teenager, and because of this I (perhaps foolhardily ) say, bring it on! I have a notion that I will be more equipped to deal with it than those first awful six months with my first, which was sheer terror, pain and despair rolled into one.

Mine are 7 and 4 now and bliss - most of the time.

I always think the stage I'm just coming into is a disaster. Even when it's tough (my first was a terrifying toddler), after a while I got used to it. But change is scary.

And why does nobody tell you that what worked for one isn't going to work for the next ones?

Weaning onto solids definitely. We did BLW very strictly with DS1 and I HATED all the mess, dropping food on the floor, the waste etc. Doing a mix of spoon feeding (runny items) and BLW with DS2 and it's far less stressful. Still incredibly messy though.

Potty training with DS1 was much easier than expected and he was dry overnight pretty much straight away. I did wait until he was 2.5 though. I'm waiting for DS2 to be an absolute nightmare in the potty training department, so doing my very best not to be smug about it with DS1!

So far - sleep training.
Started by co-sleeping - worked well. At 5.5m, had DS in his own cot in his own room because he wasn't sleeping so well in with me by then. Worked well - but he needed feeding to sleep and he wouldn't settle without me there. (mistake no. 1 - if you like).
When he woke in the night, sometimes I woudl dreamfeed him and put him back into the cot; other times I would be falling asleep sitting there = dangerous so he'd come back to bed with me.(mistake no.2, I guess).

BUt this all worked ok until DS was 18m - he mostly slept on his own, in his cot, no problems - just never got around to teaching him to self-settle (mistake no. 3)

Then we emigrated and it all went to shit. For the first 6w, we lived at MIL's house - in a bedroom below the main house with no internal staircase - had to go out the back, across the back of the house, down the steps at the side, then back across the back to the door of the room. Travel cot - but since the set up was so shite, I couldn't put DS to bed and then leave him there because it woudl take too long to get back to him if he woke up! So I had to go to bed at the same time as him (MIL always went to bed early anyway) and of course he wasn't going to sleep in the cot when MUmmy was right there in the bed! So he slept in with me. (Mistake no. 4)

Moved to our house - only 2 bedrooms - our new bed hadn't arrived by the time we had to move in (long story) so DS and I had the double bed in the back bedroom and DH had an airmattress in the master bedroom.

And so it goes. Still haven't got a strict bedtime routine for him, still haven't taught him to self-settle, still can't get him to sleep on his own through the night. BUt we need a 3rd bedroom just for me - my sleep habits are very different to DH's and besides, the kingsize bed we got has a pillowtop mattress that he loves and which ruins my back :( so I don't like sleeping on it.

At some point, I we will have to address this and put a proper bedtime routine in place but it still hasn't happened yet; ditto the potty training.

Teens, without a shadow of a doubt. Mine are 22, 17 and 14 and thinking that I have this for about another 6 years makes me shake inside.

"I'm going out, I'm not coming back, I'm not telling you where I am and you can't stop me" said by someone who is bigger than you and shows no respect but you love them anyway, is enough to shatter your heart with worry.

Tomorrow at 8.15 I have a college meeting where Ds1 is being given a final warning before they throw him out.

I would give a (small) body part to be back at potty training.

Sleeping, and the Role and Responsibilities of a Father. I look back and shudder.

Breastfeeding wasn't great...weaning seemed tough...but OMG Potty training has been far & away the hardest thing! (So far)

When DD (2.7) was a newborn it seemed so hard & I was so out of depth having never been around babies, ever! But looking back it was a piece of cake! Toddlers are hard work!! She has mastered 'the strop' already, I'm dreading her teenage years!

Thigs that didn't stress me out

Potty training - took quite a few months really and we had one period where he regressed a lot. I found it quite easy to deal with in that I really didn't get wound up about it. DS really didn't get it without a lot of help though.

Same with night training. I knew ds wasn't just going to do it on his own so instigated lifting etc at 5.5 years old. A slow couple of months of gradually fewer wet beds later he was trained. Again despite the months it took, I really didn't get wound up by it

Food - Ds has had very fussy times but I really don't do worrying about it much really.

Humdinger Tantrums - Ds had smany very loud ones. He was most definitely an explosive toddler. On the whole I think I dealt with this stage pretty well actually and was surprised at how rarely the tantrums would upset me. I kept calm really easily during them

Things that really did stress me out
Breastfeeding - a nightmare I never really liked it despite doing it for two years and was absolutely delighted to stop

sleeping - a nightmare, and I really did not cope well with ds's sleep problems. I did far too much shouting and stomping off in frustration.

Whining - I really cannot cope with this and instead of ignoring I rise to the bait . I ave lerned not so so much but it took a long time to learn

For me it has been sleep training and starting school...mainly because I am a control freak well attached parent who finds it hard to let my DC grow up.

(((lilibet))) I sympathise -and agree, as mum of 3 and now grandma to 4, that the TEENs is the worst stage by far...

It's amazing how different people can react to different situations. For me potty training was an absolute breeze. Despite being a generally stressy type of person it never made me angry with them and both were out of nappies and dry at night by 24 months.

But then I look at other mothers whose children will eat anything put in front of them and think, How the hell do you do that. Mealtimes have been nightmarish in our house since the children were weaned. IF it's just a phase it's a pretty long one...

10 year old daughter who has started telling lies :(
Very hard to cope with and upsetting.
I think it gets harder from here on in.

Starting to wish I'd just stuck with babying my cats now....

I think the most difficult thing is that you never get to a 'breathing space' or consolidation phase. Just when you think you've got the hang of it, they grow out of whatever the issue was. Especially at the 6-24 months stage:'Oh, I didn't realise you could manage to climb out of your cot and take your own (dirty) nappy off' etc. And that's without general life throwing you any googlies along the way. Transition from cot to bed for imminent arrival of new born? Oh that will be whilst your terminally ill DGM is in hospital a four hour round trip away etc.

I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that whilst you may love your children, you don't actually like children of X age. I know already that teenage years will be harder than pre-school. A way off for DS (5), DD (3) and bump but clearly DD has decided to start practising the stroppiness in earnest now