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paedophile on our street!

173 replies

katierocket · 10/09/2003 19:03

one of my neighbours knocked on the door this afternoon to tell me that the guy that lives 5 doors from us has just been convicted of downloading child porn. He got a fine, suspended sentence and counselling. She wasn't being a vigilante but just said she thought those with parents might want to know. She has a 5 yr old and 7 yr old and lives next door but one to him. I felt really sorry for her because she was saying how his house overlooks their back yard and she's worried because they were running round in the nude in the paddling pool during the summer.

It might my heart drop when I heard it. I've never actually seen him and don't intend to start throwing eggs or shouting at him even if I do see him but it is frightening to think it can be so close to home.

OP posts:
wiltshire · 12/09/2003 15:50

Paedophiles mainly operate IMO on family & friends which means that the man 2 doors up from you who doesn't know you personally is extremely unlikely to bother your kids. It is more likely that you need to carefully monitor ANY man who has access to them. The comment from one poster who watched her dp when he bathed/hugged her child was chilling, but I totally understand it and will most probably do exactly the same. And I know that some of you won't agree with this but I think that you need to educate your child on 'inappropriate touching etc' as soon as they can speak. I know I will be. Terrible really to have to do it but needs must.

As for convicted paedophiles, I am going to put it on the line. I think that they should be either imprisoned for life or put down. There is no cure. Ruining someones life by abusing them is worse than murder as at least if the victim is dead they don't have to think about the atrocities performed on them.

If this country ever had a referendum on this I would vote for the take them out of society by whatever means possible action. Sod tagging, registers etc. There, I have said it.

Blu · 12/09/2003 16:19

Secret, I just want to say that I really feel for you and I have no end of respect and admiration for the way that you are supporting your dh to be himself, for who he is, and free himself from the cycle of abuse, while protecting your family, not only from FIL, but also from the effects of a potential vigilante attack on him. Also the way you are able to speak out on this very difficult matter. Life must be very hard and lonely sometimes. Are there support groups for the indirect victims such as yourselves of abusers?

Rhubarb · 14/09/2003 15:48

I will never forget a Mumsnetter who came on here about a year ago, telling us of the day she found out that the teenage neighbour she had been using as a babysitter had been interfering with her 3 year old daughter. This was a trusted lad, a friend who lived with his family just down the road. The Mumsnetter decided not to press charges to protect her daughter from any more stress, understandably she was anxious that her daughter be allowed to forget all about it. But she did tell social services. The boy and his family moved. So who knows where he could be living now, or what measures are put into place to protect the children around him.

We shouldn't be paranoid about everyone. But more often than not these people are those who have already established contact with our children. Paedos targeting random children is rare, just as stranger-rape is rare, it is much more common to happen in the home, by a neighbour, or friend, or uncle, or even teacher. If there were a register of Paedophile's names, these are the children that could be saved. Alright, we can't stop it all from happening, but if we managed to save just one child wouldn't it be worth it? You might know all about your family members, but who's going to tell you that the likeable, mature and seemingly trustworthy teenanger down the road who babysits is on the sex offenders register? Or one of your dh/dp's friends?

I agree that once these people have committed such an horrendous crime they have waived any human rights they may have. They wilfully ignored that child's rights, so why should we pander to theirs? And I'm sorry Scared, but how do you know that your FIL will only target family members? How do you know that now he doesn't have access to them, he won't try it on with neighbours' children? No-one knows for sure, you cannot get inside his head. Surely it is better to be safe than sorry?

Besides, what we are doing at the moment obviously isn't working. We need better deterrents, and prevention is always better than a cure, therefore these people should be prevented from getting access to ANY children, which means informing people.

beetroot · 14/09/2003 15:57

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Rhubarb · 14/09/2003 16:08

Oh Beetroot! Sorry if my mentioning it dragged up more memories for you! Last I heard from you on the subject they were moving though? Did they change their minds? Do you know what happened to the lad since?
Sorry, don't mean to bring all this up again. But your story all that time ago has stuck with me and made me more aware of the people around me and especially the people dd has contact with. She is 3 herself now and I shudder to think what you must have gone through. Hope both you and her are ok now?

beetroot · 14/09/2003 20:00

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wiltshire · 14/09/2003 23:08

did anyone just watch frost. It contained everything we have been talking about. I know it's only a tv programme but I was thinking about this discussion whilst watching and just wanted the perv to get killed.

Rhubarb · 15/09/2003 16:52

I'm so sorry Beetroot, it must make your life very unpleasant. Did social services not do anything? Glad to hear your dd is well though, I really hope she has no memories of it. But then looking back I can only remember from about 4 or 5 years old, first day at school, that kind of thing. Sounds like this boy is doing quite well as screwing his own life up anyway. This might sound rotten, but I hope he does end up in jail where he can't do any more harm.

Wishing you all the best Beetroot, you have great strength putting up with that situation, I really don't know what I would have done.

beetroot · 15/09/2003 17:34

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Rhubarb · 16/09/2003 10:06

Cyber hugs Beetroot! Don't let that scumbag ruin your life, you can hold your head up high, he should be hanging his in shame! What goes around comes around, and he will get his punishment sooner or later. Really though, big pregnancy hug coming your way! xx

beetroot · 16/09/2003 10:12

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Rags · 14/10/2003 08:14

I read this a while back, now my views are so mixed up. My DS2 who's 8 went out to play at the weekend with his little friends, when he came home he told me about a man working on one of the houses (not a resident) that he picked him up twice and kissed him, he gave him a heart shaped cake, pats him on the head calling him "a nice boy, a good boy", he pats the childrens bums. I called the police, all i know is they have done a check on the van these builders drive and it is not stolen. I pointed out that this man and his co-workers may be gone in a day, 2 days, 2 weeks, working on another house and pestering other children, he MAY already have convictions, he MAY already have been tagged, I am trying to keep really calm here as not to upset the kids, I am sitting around other men convincing the, NOT to take the matter in to their own hands. How would you all feel if a complete stranger came up to your son or daughter and kissed them on the mouth.... I am feeling so sick at the moment.

CountessDracula · 14/10/2003 09:37

Rags how awful. Have you been down to the police station to kick up a stink?

Are you sure that the builders weren't just having fun with the kids? I know it sounds weird but they may have just been playing (just a thought) though the kissing sounds v odd.

Rags · 14/10/2003 09:52

I called the police, this 'thing' has comitted an indecent assault on a minor. the police came and took a statement from ds2 and me and told me that he may get a good lawyer who could say due to his religion or where he comes from this is acceptable, I said that maybe he should read up on the laws before entering this country then. I have telephoned the police at 12 o clock yesterday, they told me they were sending a couple of officers round to the address, at 3 o clock they sent round an officer but because he got no answer from the property they left. I got a reply to my phone call at 5 to be told they did a check on the van reg. no. that I gave them and it is not stolen. I asked them if they were taking this seriously. like I think i said this thing may already have form if he disappears who knows who'se house he will turn up in next or who's street and do we really have to wait for a child to be abducted before we start taking these things seriously. I understand he might be just being friendly with the ice creams and sweet but I can't class anyone who picks my son up and kisses him as innocent. I know my sons friends and I wouldn't do it to them, not on the mouth.

donnie · 14/10/2003 15:20

how awful for you rags. I know if that was me and my dd, my hubby would be round there and probably kicking the shit out of him, or at least threatening to.I tend to agree with wiltshire on this topic, sounds cruel but get the paedophiles off the streets by any means neccesary,the hell with tagging or rehab, what is the point of it ?it doesn't work and it costs money that should be spent elsewhere. I anyone interfered with ny daughter I would happily murder them and if a kiddie fiddler was living on my street I would want to know.They should be put down .They are animals and deserve no life.

WSM · 14/10/2003 15:23

Agree that what this person did was completely wrong and inappropriate. Well done you for reporting him, make sure this goes as far as possible.

doormat · 14/10/2003 15:25

rags I am so sorry to hear this.
I hope the police get this "thing" soon.
hugs
xxx
doormat

donnie · 14/10/2003 15:25

oh, and Aloha on a point you made earlier: it was absolutely typical of 11 and 12 year olds to get married in medaeival times. Chaucer's wife of Bath takes her first husband at 12! The peasant classes usually married their daughters off as soon as menstruation began and since the average life expectancy was around 40 noone saw anything strange in this.So your unnamed King marrying an 11 year old is not unusual and woyuld not have been shocking at the time - Arthur ( Henry 8th's brother) married K of Aragon at 13!

Rags · 18/10/2003 08:23

cheers doormat. God this week seems like a lifetime. I got a phone call on wednesday from the police saying they didn't think they would be able to catch this bloke. apparently they went round to the house a man there said he was the owner and he didn't know who the 2 workmen were so the police left, can you believe it, if people were working on my house I would at least have a contact no. or something, how did he hire them. I told the policeman I was very peed off and that i was doing all i could to stop my husband from going round and killing this bloke and if he did and he got arrested I would go to the papers and tell them what a bloody crap job they have done. bout an hour later dh got a phone call from higher up saying they wanted ds2 to go and do a vid interview. so yesterday I took ds2 down to the cop shop, saw a police woman this time she was ver, ver nice (ds2 now has a soft spot for her cause she believed him!!)I will probably spend the whole of today watching out the window just in case this bloke only works saturdays (hoping he hasn't been tipped off). I really wish i hadn't phoned the police now, wish i had stalked this bloke and had him done over to the point of no breathing. Sorry for nicking this thread but I really wanted a good rant, dh had a swearing fit at me cause he hears me on the phone to the police and SS going over the saga again and again and he can't do anything and he said all I do is go on and on and on and on.... thanks all for listening!

doormat · 18/10/2003 09:33

rags how awful, at leat the police are doing something about it.
I really feel for you and your family.I can understand your dh's reaction to all of this and explain to him that you both need to be strong and supportive of eachother without all the arguing.
Keep in touch and let us know what happens
take care and hugs
xxx
doormat

Rags · 18/10/2003 10:36

thanx Doormat, well I didn't have to sit at the window long, where would I be without the kids binoculars! He showed up today so I made sure I was 100% certain it was him and called the police but went straight through to CID rather than the crime desk this time. They have been and taken him away, now just got to wait and see what happens. The neighbours seem to think i am over reacting, probably cause they don't want to come across as being racist but as I keep pointing out I can tell my kids about the do's and dont's, i can try and keep an eye on them 24/7 but this bloke could be a registered/unregistered paedo, he could be in the process of grooming other kids and I think as a society we all have the right to keep our kids safe.

doormat · 18/10/2003 10:43

Oh rags that is such good news,if it wasnt for your vigilance who knows what this man would get up to.
hugs
xxx

charliecat · 18/10/2003 10:54

Just read this Rags, Brilliant news!

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