Doormat - yes I am still hiding behind a name. I'm terrified.
"These people" are still human beings. What they have "done" or "thought" IS so vile, damaging and deserving of the harshest of punishments.
However, what no one seems to have mentioned is that the vast majority of abusers, if not all, have been sexually abused as children themselves. They do not know of any other way to relate to people. Their self esteem has been destroyed and they have learned through their own upbringing that manipulation, deceit and violence is the only way to feel in control.
From what my dh has told me of his childhood, his father has been controlling, verbally abusive to his mother and unable to communicate adaquately on a personal level. He has three failed marriages and has a very derogatory view of women.
We don't know much about his own childhood, but we do know his own father was a militant fascist in the 30s. Not an excuse - but do you see? This is learned behaviour. He is an accomplished liar and is excellent at mind control by clever language use. I guess the pyshologists would call it "grooming" in the case of young girls.
The latest bombshell dropped last night (bad timing after this thread) is that his abuse wasn't obviously enough of a secret. His first marriage (which dh only found out about when he came across an old passport) wasnt' childless as both he and MIL (now divorced) had led everyone to believe. Dh as of last night, has a half sister who is looking for her dad. I now feel physically sick, that this poor girl who is on the brink of finding her father, has to discover what kind of person he is.
Dh was the only visitor, my FIL had in prison. I waited in the car park for him once and nearly threw up out the window because I felt so sickened by being that close to him. Now, with las night's revelation, what was left of a very shaky relationship with his dad has been blown out of the sky.
Long post. I think what I'm trying to say (like others) is that peadophiles are social inadequates who are great actors and actresses. They often function well in society on the surface, but their tendencies will reveal themsleves in other ways. If male, then their inability to relate to women, for example. Yes, they are dangerous and yes, I would advocate some form of chemical castration and better incarceration policies but I would never, never end someone's life.
I'm not playing the blame game here. It is my FIL's fault for what he did - he is totally in the wrong. But we must also realise "why" this happens so often.