paedophile on our street!

[katierocket]

one of my neighbours knocked on the door this afternoon to tell me that the guy that lives 5 doors from us has just been convicted of downloading child porn. He got a fine, suspended sentence and counselling. She wasn't being a vigilante but just said she thought those with parents might want to know. She has a 5 yr old and 7 yr old and lives next door but one to him. I felt really sorry for her because she was saying how his house overlooks their back yard and she's worried because they were running round in the nude in the paddling pool during the summer.

It might my heart drop when I heard it. I've never actually seen him and don't intend to start throwing eggs or shouting at him even if I do see him but it is frightening to think it can be so close to home.

It is wrong doormat but people harrassing them is the reeason we are not told about their location.

the one thing i would say about naming and shaming is, when it happened not so long ago and there were scenes on the news of parents protesting in the streets WITH their children i thought that was awful! I thought the whole point was to protect our children and keep them innocent NOT to get them involved.

As I said Boe on the other thread they should be all be gathered together and made to fend for themselves.
About the ones that have not been convicted. Shouldnt sentencing for life and being named and shamed be a strong enough deterrent for others to think twice?

When my neighbour came round yesterday I genuinely didn't have any feelings of 'oh my god get him out of the street' - my first feeling was sympathy for neighbout that he could have seen her children running round naked in her own private yard (as his house partially overlooks it).

I don't condone vigilante behaviour but I do feel better knowing - not sure I would do anything differently as of course I would never leave DS with neighbour I didn't know but put yourself in the position of the neighbour - knowing has meant she can know protect her children a bit better by making sure he can't see them. A sad fact seeing as it's her house but true.
The only other comment I'd make is that in an earlier post prufrock you said

"Surely it is up to us as parents to ensure that our children our never in a situation where they could be abused by somebody we do not know well?"

This poor woman has now got the worry that this guy might have taken pictures of her children when they were in the garden. She of course thought they were safe and protected but they could have been abused (by which I mean assuming he did take pictures what has he done with them). I realise it's all hypothetical but if it was your child maybe it would make you frightened and angry enough to tell others with children leaving nearby

Katierocket the thought of it would knock me sick too. The poor woman must have allsorts going through her head.And to think in her own garden where it should be safe.

I think it is very dangerous to gather people like this together - you would end up with a strong group of disgusting people rather than weak individuals. Being named and shamed is not a deterrant, neither is lietime imprisonment, as does not mean life these days (although would be good if meant life, at least would not be able to harm anymore children!)

As I have said being names and shamed is not a punishment for them but information for us to help protect our children - we should be adult about the information we given and hope that the law toughens up and punishes them adequately.

And secret - they never recover - the urge is always there and it always wins.

I completely agree with everything Boe says!
I do not have any children but can honestly say - hand on heart (and i know people will disagree) That if i had one of these sick, perverted, disgusting creatures living anywhere near me or my family i would want to know about it!

As i don't have any children, i can only talk a about it regarding my neices and nephews but if i ever found out there was someone around them with a Paedophilic (sp) background i would loose it completely and needless to say DP would definitely end up in prison over it because he would kill someone.

It is disgusting and it is not right!

Boe - convicted "nonces" only drag kids into their houses in TV dramas and I would sincerely hope I am well enough able to educate my dd that she wouldn't be taken in by a "come and look at my puppy" line.

katierocket. I really do feel for your neighbour. But - is taking pictures of her kids playing in the garden really "abusing" them. I'm not saying it's not disgusting, perverted and wrong, but it doesn't really affect the kids does it? And if it did , eg they saw him leering, I would hope that I would also see that and report him to the police for them to deal with him. In a way, her knowing has only actually hurt her (bacuase I'm sure the poor woman is now imagining awful possibilities), not helped her or her kids.

hmmm..I know what you're saying prufrock but it has helped in one specific way in that she now knows not to let them out in the garden with nothing on.

Prufrock - yes the taking pictures is wrong - it is a crime and should not be allowed to happen - my god I am shocked at what you are saying. I believe as others that there are no degrees of this crime and what on earth is he going to do with these pictures, how many disgusting men are going to 'use' them to fulfill their twisted fantasies.

It has not hurt this woman, in a way it helped her keep her children safer and IMO that can only be a good thing.

80% of abuse is committed by someone close who you trust though. How do we deal with that. It's very hard to know, think about your fathers, brothers, uncles, etc.

I would like to second the comment about 'Acid Row' by Minette Walters - everyone should read it. What starts as one mother finding out about a paedophile living on her estate escalates into.... well I wont say it would ruin the book. We all have such strong ideas on this subject. I agree with the concept of making the register public and sod what happens to them (the perverts). They shouldn't have done it to start with. I have quite a few family who are in the police force and whilst none of them would condone violence, they are there after all to uphold the law, but do understand why perverts get attacked. I cannot honestly say that I have ever met a person who thought that paedophiles have any rights left.

prufrock can I ask you a question?
How would you feel if your children were photographed whilst playing in the safety of your garden by a nonce?

Boe - read my post. I'm not saying it's not wrong. In fact I specifically said it was. But I don't see how it hurts or affects the kids. If they don't see the pictures being taken how are they ever going to know they were taken - I'd hope they wouldn't be viewing the sorts of sites they'd be posted on. And if they don't know, why would they be hurt?
Sometimes ignorance is bliss - I'm sure katierockets friend is imagining terrible things, and is hurt by having this information. And I really don't accept your point that she will now be more careful (apart from the overlooked garden thing) - if knowing a paedophile is living in your street alters the freedom you give your kids I would suggest that they were being given too much freedom anyway.

It would make my skin crawl if I knew someone was taking photos of my kids.

It would make my skin crawl too - but it wouldn't make my kids skin crawl because I wouldn't let them know.

would you want to move house though?

sometimes ignorance is bliss- I really have heard it all now.

I understand where Prufrock is coming from here. Nobody actually knows that any pictures were taken (thats all an assumption) but I can understand that mother taking steps to make sure its not possible in the future - I certainly would do. But it is true her children have not been harmed by the hypothetical pictures whereas she certainly has been upset by it all. Its a shame for the children that they can't run about the garden and in and out of the paddling pool without their clothes on but thats all for them.

Doormat - re your "ignorance is bliss" comment. If you were in the position that you found out some peeping tom had been taking pictures of your naked young child would you actually tell the child?

in some ways i'd like to know so i can warn my children to stay away (a bit like i would stop them going to a place where i'd know drugs were used, like the parks here). but how much freesom can we give out kids these days? we used to play out in the fields as kids, it was a small town, fields were just a short walk from the house, same as sarah payne was and look what happened to her. I remember a paedophile moved into a house not too far from me, and it was actually the college aged kids that pelted his house with eggs and caused all the trouble. he used to have to board his windows at night and moved soon after.

Prufrock, you pay taxes, you live in a free state, you pay over the odds for your house, and you live a decent honest life. Do you really think it's OK and possible to not get incredibily irate at the possibility that whilst enjoying the Summer sun your children may have been "exploited" in the privacy of their own home.
I believe an attitude such as that is a contributory factor in why these people actually get away with these crimes. "Oh he didn't really do any harm".......yes he bloody did.

He should be hung drawn and quartered, nothing justifies any grade of paedophilia.

I can quite honestly say if I was that woman, I'd be sat at the window with a gun.

you see I hate stories about people pelting houses with eggs etc. I just feel its so easy to get it wrong - like with the paedophile /paediatrician mix up.
and I do think that you would warn your kids to stay away from all strangers not just a known paedophile since you don't know really know who is dodgy and who isn't and as others have pointed out it's usually family members anyway.

BUT I was glad to know and I'm not sure why. I just felt like it was my right to know and that he gave up his right to anonymity when he downloaded child porn.

Also prufrock - lets assume for a second he did take photos of them in the garden and then distributed them. No, those children might not be hurt by it as they wouldn't know BUT in doing so he is participating in the general exchange and trade in child porn and you can guarantee that other children WILL have been hurt/abused in generating other images IFYKWIM

They were playing in their own garden ..............is that too much freedom......PLEASE

No-one is trying to justify any grade of paedophilia, angelmother, but if you, with malice aforethought, shot and killed a man who had done nothing to you or your children (possibly seeing them naked is not a crime)you would fully deserve a life sentence.

OK if you can't work out the difference between saying how I feel versus how I would actually react, then I'll call it a day.
I would not pull a trigger at anyone but sure as hell wouldn't cry for the man if someone else did.