Those 'Firsts' you don't write in the baby book. . .

[FranknCock]

First steps, first words, first haircuts, great baby book fodder.

Today, DS (14mo) had another first that I won't write in the book:

In Mothercare, took DS out of pushchair to try something on him. He started walking a month ago and now wants to walk all the time, so I let him stay out and toddle (wasn't busy in there). Turned my head for a few seconds to look at something, looked back and he was gone!

Cue mad dash around area in a wild panic, mind thinking the worst, 'there's no one in here, how could he have been taken?'. After an eternity (15 seconds), spotted his arse sticking out from under a clothing rack where he was hiding, not two feet from where I'd been.

So, first time lost in a shop: 21 October 2010

And I can't remember the exact date, but we had a 'First shit in the bath' a few months ago.

Other 'Firsts' you'd like to forget? Confess them here!

First time you injure your baby (rolling off the bed, clipping finger instead of nail etc). Though that's more of a rite of passage for the parent than the baby.

DS (3) had his first poo in the toilet yesterday. I nearly posted out it on Facebook until I realised that no one apart from me and DP, and possibly my mum is remotely interested!

I got a bit teary the first time DS ate bread too. I remember thinking about all the bread he was likely to eat in his whole life, and here he was for the first time, trying it.

I'll never forget that first (and only) time DH clipped DS's finger instead of his nail. I shouted and threw DH out of the room

First time I realised DS was more important to me than anyone else!

First shit up a wall.

Changed DD on a table in my XMIL's newly decorated hallway, reached across to get a nappy and dd did a projectile shit which hit the new wallpaper 3 feet away.

She was about a month old. Should have put that in the baby book. Along with a picture of XMIL's face

First time your dd tastes something sour (orange juice).

The face she pulled!

The first time Ds1 pebble dashed me with his pooh.

Not a first but Ds1 doing the longest pooh I have ever seen in my life - it was like a snake I tell you.

Oh yes, first fall off the bed

First binge on chocolate! I had a box of chocs for my birthday when DD was 14 months old. She was wedged between us on the sofa, quiet and contented, while we were watching TV. Had no idea that she had got hold of some and was happily sucking them until I looked down & saw that her face and hands were smeared with chocolate!

First time he realised he had an orifice that wasnt his mouth, ears or nose...and tried to push a grape in!

First time he bit me
First trip to A&E
First plate/bowl/mug they break
First toy they shove in the VCR
And the really great first for older kids - the first time they get nits!

first time I caught ds vomit in my hands - what was I thinking he was standing on a laminate floor - and there I was with all this sick in my hands, crying child, miles away from the bloody loo/bin/bowl/sink to chuck it in

@nimbs,

- done that too, but we have carpet. Still felt like an idiot, though.

Ah yes, I remember the first time DS puked down my cleavage. Lovely.

My ds is 4.2 and did a poo in the bath tonight, not a first but a first in a while... Yuk!

First infestation - actually, the first time ds had worms, dh and I (who don't have a baby book even though ds is pfb and only) thought it would be cool to have a dark side baby book - first tantrum, first caught biting someone, first swear word, first trip to a+e etc

first face dunk in the bath :S (obv i scooped ds straight out but still, i felt bad for ages!)

and soooo glad to know i'm not the only one who's clipped the finger instead of the nail(in my case the thumb) as well as the rolling of bed (wasnt looking to 2 seconds and doof)

had the poop in the bath too, when ds was still bf and was all tincy lil bits floating and stuck to all the toys and looked espesh lovely when the water was let out!

and altho its awful i'm looking forward to the other firsts i wouldnt dream of putting in the baby book, first mooning in public, or first time ds says something to make me cringe like "wheres mummy" "having a poooo!!!"

:)

Ah yes the first poo in the bath! EWWWW

The first projectile vomit.

The first supermarket breakage - ours was a huge jar of mayonnaise - in Waitrose

The first time she ate the cat food - ewwww

The first paddle in the toilet - that was DD1 she had stopped to put her wellies on first!

The first time they swear - unintentionally of course

First projectile puke in my face.
First time they say 'go away mummy'.
First time you cut a sleep suit off because it is too full of liquid poo to get it off any other way.
First time they chuck a drink all over you.
etc

The first stolen chocolate bar (in Boots last week aged 2.6! I'd like to think that he didn't understand!!)

first time they say fuck : ds, aged 11.2 - grounded for a week

First time they tell you a joke

First time they find their willy.
First time they talk about it:
'Look mummy! It's gone all big!'

DD is 8 months old and we've had 3 today:

First rolling off sofa onto floor
First jumping out of pushchair onto Costa floor
First pushchair rolling away across car park as brake wasn't on

It's been a really bad day and I've learnt a few lessons about how mobile she is now

Oh FranknCock - our boy first got lost in a shop today as well. He was 'hiding'.

first time they stick their finger straight into your eye/up your nose/into your bellybutton and laugh themselves silly while you roll around in agony ...

first time they swear at their grandparents (see tumbleweed thread)

first time they say "i'm not your friend any more mummy!" [hsad]

first time you catch your dh and ds together, both naked, both peeing into the toilet in identical stance, (left hand holding willy, right fist on jutting right hip) - oh for a camera for that one!

That feeling of not knowing where they are...
I was in Boots a few months back with dd in the pram. I stopped to look at something on a rail, turned around and pram was gone. I felt physically sick andmy heart hit the floor. Turned out the floor was uneven and it had just rolled back a bit - luckily.