Do you correct other peoples children over manners?

[unicorn]

I have this ongoing issue with one of my dds friends...
whenever she is in the back of my car, she talks about me as though I weren't there...
eg "what did SHE say..?"

Anyway there is something very irksome about this 6 year old...
I corrected her a while back when she asked for something without a please, or thankyou... and I guess she thinks I am a cow!

Anyhow just wondered - do you 'correct' other kids (even though their parents may have different standards vis a vis manners?)

Has anyone else got kids who argue about who best likes the colour yellow? (Or blue or green or any *** colour). I really think my 2 boys could win the annual Whingathon competition.

Slightly off topic.

Twigglet.... how early can you start with the whingy step? DS's driving me crazy this week!

BTW, I don't correct other people's children... I just exclude them from my house.

and now we hit on a good thing about autism (at ds1's end of the spectrum anyway)- no whingeing. Ds2 can whinge all day, ds1 never. My friend finds it the same in her house. Whinging children were a revelation to us (we both have younger normally developing kids).

HOw are you Jimjams? I was looking for you the other day

is whingeing the same as whining? i think if i ever lose it enough with ds to smack him (hopefully never) it will be when has been a terrible whinocerous...

When I worked in a preschool we were told you cant put your standards on others. every parent has different standards. wont say what Ithink to that!!! always make sure you use correct manners around them and hope iy rubs of. you coukld even say 'n my house we say please and thank you'

I have had this problem with my DH's friends - they have the most horrid 5 year old - when he was 4 years old and my DS only a new born, I caught him (just in time) before he pinched DS's leg. But the parents are as ill-mannered as the child, so what can you do ? The parents admit they "gave up" on disciplining their youngest boy (out of laziness or what ??) No point blaming the child in this case.

I have just hinted (had to politely hint to mother and 2 sons to leave one evening when DS was only a week old and I was far too exhausted - well they had stayed over FIVE hours without any regard to the fact that baby and I needed to rest !!). They are one of DH's old family friends, but DH is totally understanding and can see why I want to avoid them as much as possible.

More than bad manners, I am always worried their horrid child will physically injur my son (now 14 months), because he is so aggressive.

I'd be happy for someone else to discipline my child appropriately - especially if I was in another room with a cup of tea and biscuit... ahh sounds marvellous frankly.

I don't correct others children over manners and I would be shocked if anyone put my child on a naughty step as I don't use naughty steps myself. I probably wouldn't take much notice if a child doesn't say please or thank you. I think there can be other reasons for that than lack of manners. Perhaps they are just shy or awkward and forgot?
I find that generally the parents who walk around and remind their children to say please, thank you etc all the time, have less well-mannered children. When their parents are not around they forget because they are not reminded. I think if children are in an environment where people have good manners, they pick them up naturally anyway.

I strongly disagree Fairymum. It's really noticeable the children whose parents don't bother to teach them to say please and thank you. And it's easier to teach them from the earliest age. After a certain age it is downright rude not to ask for things or accept things in a polite way.

If I'm in the same room as my child I would expect to discipline them myself, although if I hadn't noticed a misdemeanour and somebody else corrected them for me I would be mortified (solely from the point of view of not having noticed, not that someone else had corrected my child). If I'm not in the room then it is accepted that someone else will correct my child if s/he is impolite or naughty, although I would expect any "disciplining" to be referred to me. If, however, I have left my child with someone, I expect them to use whatever discipline they use on their own children. If I don't like their discipline methods then I don't leave my children with them. This applies to one friend in particular who shouts at her children and smacks them. I don't ever let my children stay alone with her.

Am totally with Batters & Robina. I think if one of my friends didn't like my kids, I'd be picking up on that never mind the kids, and I probably wouldn't be spending as much time with them (with the kids anyway). I don't expect everyone to like my kids BTW in fact I probably expect most not to like them as can be hard work. But becasue they are hard work and it has taken this long to work out works best for my kids, I'd rather do the disciplining myself. As I said earlier, I'm not on about a quick " OOo don't touch that honey or anything done in a lighthearted way........

Sorry should have said agree with Batters & Fairymum....too early in morn.

scummy Im mortified...what a terrible breach of good manners ...

batters - It's a bit of a catch 22 though isn't it?
If a child is rude then why should you like that individual, simply because they are children doesn't mean they have carte blanche to be obnoxious surely?
Maybe that child is picking up on the evident displeasure of the adult - so does that mean it's ok for it to continue to be obnoxious?

If an adult is rude, I wouldn't warm to that adult either.

I think if you display good manners around your child and other peoples then they will learn them too. If you say 'thank you' when you give them something just as a little reminder thats ok. But a constant 'what do we say?' will just get the child fedup!! depending on age of child of course