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Original poster

Do you correct other peoples children over manners?

219 replies

unicorn · 04/08/2005 12:26

I have this ongoing issue with one of my dds friends...
whenever she is in the back of my car, she talks about me as though I weren't there...
eg "what did SHE say..?"

Anyway there is something very irksome about this 6 year old...
I corrected her a while back when she asked for something without a please, or thankyou... and I guess she thinks I am a cow!

Anyhow just wondered - do you 'correct' other kids (even though their parents may have different standards vis a vis manners?)

OP posts:
Twiglett · 04/08/2005 21:46

I specifically disagreed with people saying that other parents don't have the right to correct their kids

I actually said...

"but .. if the other parent is there .. and you still have time to reinforce their child's manners before they say anything then there's something going wrong somewhere isn't there?

That's why I find it difficult to understand the 'no other parent should correct my child when I'm there' mentality "

hunkermunker · 04/08/2005 21:47

Twiglett, that was possibly mistaken to mean that you were the kind of busybody who can't wait for someone else's child to not say please so you can jump on their heads and say "That's not how we ask for things in Manners Land, you horrible oik!"

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 21:50

really? I don't see that

but I still stand by it as a statement as I do believe that especially in the early years immediate response from a caring adult is better than delayed response from a parent..

bossykate · 04/08/2005 21:51

i don't agree that a "delay" is the space of literally a few seconds.

bossykate · 04/08/2005 21:51

agree with hm, that is how it came across.

Blossomhill · 04/08/2005 21:52

Twiglett - just because you have a grey sprouty hair doesn't mean you can tell everyone how to feel

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 21:52

yes it does .. it does it does it does .. it makes me old and wise and everyone knows you don't mess with the wise old woman

hunkermunker · 04/08/2005 21:53

I didn't read it like that, btw, Twiglett - I "know" you better than that!

bossykate · 04/08/2005 21:53

i also think that with small children who are in the process of learning a small delay to let them remember by themselves is actually a good thing.

ScummyMummy · 04/08/2005 21:56

"some ghastly adult who behaves like scum". I'm not that bad, nightynight, honest.

I think different household rules and parenting styles are a major potential problem here. I would be extremely reticent to tell off children of friends while they are present for that reason, unless actual bodily harm looked likely.

Blossomhill · 04/08/2005 21:57

Right ladies am going to leave this thread now.
There are no rights or wrongs with parenting and I think we could carry on and carry on debating this. I for one am going to agree to disagree.
I know I must respect my elders (Twiglett )

Bye xxxx

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 21:58

I actually don't allow any child to whinge in my house

whingers get put on the whingy step (it is the same step as the naughty step)

can't bear whingy children

but I reckon people who object to a friend telling their child to say please would have kittens over that particular rule

hunkermunker · 04/08/2005 21:59

LOL, Twiglett! Can DS come over to yours when he's bigger please? I think that he and your DD would get on very well

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 21:59

don't go bossykate .. I like talking to people who so obviously disagree with me .. especially tonight .. its takng my mind off other things

ScummyMummy · 04/08/2005 22:00

Yep- I would, twig! I think putting kids on steps is a parent or person in authority's job, myself. Having said that if my kid was whingy at a friend's house I'd take him home because I'd be mortified.

bossykate · 04/08/2005 22:05

i agree with your earlier post, scummy. one of the other reasons i don't like interference is because your behaviour management strategy could be different - e.g. something you are "ignoring" could be made a meal of.

also agree with your other post re the naughty step - i'd like to see the person try to put my child on their naughty step!

but like scummy we would go home or deal with it some other way instead...

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 22:05

I have only ever done it to kids who's parents I know really well (there's about 3 or 4 families who are round here a lot of the time) and its only ever happened once and never again .. the kids just don't whinge in my house any more .. in fact they tell each other not to

bossykate · 04/08/2005 22:07

i wonder if having a v. close circle of mummy friends who know eachother and all the children v. well is the difference - i simply don't have that. i have a good network of local mummy acquaintances if you like, but we are not close - and not likely to be if they put my child on their naughty step!

lovecloud · 04/08/2005 22:09

Yes I always do with a few of my friends children as I am like their second mum with the amount of babysitting I do. They treat my home likes theirs so when they are in my home I put them right. I would not do iy with children i dont know well.

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 22:09

it is a bit like a kibbutz round here .. we are in and out of each others houses and leaving kids left, right and centre with each other .. its great fun .. I suppose when it gets to that stage you have to step back and allow each parent to deal with all the kids (there's often 7 or 8 at someone's house) by their own rules otherwise it gets confusing for children and parents alike

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 22:10

thinking about it I would never treat an acquaintance's child like that .. but I would expect manners

niceglasses · 04/08/2005 22:10

My God Twiglett, my 2yr old would have his arse glued to your whingy step. Isn't whinging like breathing for kids? 'Tis for mine anyway........

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 22:11

nope .. no whinging here

Twiglett · 04/08/2005 22:11
hunkermunker · 04/08/2005 22:14

Even if you take the backpack away, Twiglett?