Do you correct other peoples children over manners?

[unicorn]

I have this ongoing issue with one of my dds friends...
whenever she is in the back of my car, she talks about me as though I weren't there...
eg "what did SHE say..?"

Anyway there is something very irksome about this 6 year old...
I corrected her a while back when she asked for something without a please, or thankyou... and I guess she thinks I am a cow!

Anyhow just wondered - do you 'correct' other kids (even though their parents may have different standards vis a vis manners?)

So who do you see and consider not to be worthy of respect?

morningpaper
yes, respect is far more important than "manners". Manners without respect can be meaningless hypocrisy, whereas genuine respect is always polite.

no .. not at all

I would totally expect any of my friends to tell my child off /deal with him if he did anything like that or lost his manners

give some examples please of who you point out and discuss with your kids who arent worthy of respect.

ha ha hairyhercules, well loads of people on the tv, our neighbours who chuck rubbish over the fence, the village mayor who used to wonder into our house (yes, HOUSE) whenever he felt like it without invitation....

twiglett, presumably you and your friends have similar ideas about what you expect though?

NN: So you tell your children that they don't have to obey these people ... ?! Is that your point?

What will happen when your child has a teacher that you think is a total w@nker? Will you tell them it's okay not to obey them?

ooh was he Japanese Nightynight. I had to lock my door on Japan because all and sundry would just wander in. Postmen with a parcel, the Principal's wife, neighbours, kids....

You people need to pay more attention to household security... [frown]

Message withdrawn

twiglett, with both those incidents i mentioned, the parents dealt with the situation themselves. i wish they had extended me the same courtesy i extended them.

i think that's it for me really - i actually think it's bad manners to correct someone else's child without giving their parents the opportunity to do it.

bossykate on Thursday, 4 August, 2005 9:10:54 PM

i think that's it for me really - i actually think it's bad manners to correct someone else's child without giving their parents the opportunity to do it.

BK - well done. You have just hit the nail on the head to what I was trying to say. Thanks

Of course it is, BK! I don't think anyone's disagreed on that - only when parents don't bother at all, or when they aren't there!

morningpaper
I once caught our nasty neighbours trying to sexually abuse my daughter, telling her to come near the fence... so yes, I certainly wouldnt expect my children to do what they say.

Our children know that we dont respect these adults for good reasons, so fortunately, they wouldnt just obey them without question.

In the situation where you totally dont like the teacher, the only thing to do is judge each incident as it comes. Child should do reasonable things requested by teacher in school, because teacher is teacher ... but if the teacher told my child to do something that I felt was unreasonable (there was a hurtful incident reported on mumsnet recently, where someone questioned what the teacher had said) then Id be down at the school to request an explanation...in a very polite voice of course!

jimjams ...japanese! no he is french. he has no respect for us cos we're foreigners and he used to think we were poor, so thought we could be bullied ... grrr. He had another go just last weekend, pulled up in his car and told me that people had been saying that our garden is too messy. I said it was a pity they didnt have something better to think about. V politely of course and with a big smile. It was messy for about 15 years before we bought the house! Naturally, there are no "other people" it is just him trying to pull his weight.

what would be an unreasonable thing and how could your child correctly judge that at the time?

i mean at school.

Nightynight I think your example of living next to a paedophile is silly.

Are you telling me that you live next to a paedophile?

oh goodness, that sort of thing comes with practise. If my child is upset, then they would learn from my response how seriously they should take something another time. eg if I wouldnt put up with a teacher being unduly harsh on my child, I would certianly stand up for the child. But often when my children complain, I tell them thats perfectly normal, it was just that things didnt go their way on that occasion!

morningpaper
well now youve insulted me, I reckon Im entitled to say that I think your understanding is somewhat limited, and you have completely twisted what I said.

My neighbours are not paedophiles. However, in their culture and in ours, boys do NOT kiss girls. It is VERY serious, and they know this as well as we do. So, they were trying to get our daughter to come to the fence so that their grandson could kiss her, and that would be a big one up on us. And of course, if I had let it pass, would have given dd the idea that any boy could kiss her and get away with it.
If you are English, you may not understand how serious this is to us, but kindly do not sneer at our standards, because we think they are good ones.

i think you werent very clear rather than anyone sneering.

Nightynight, I'm lost for words, you are clearly surrounded by crazy people, lock all your doors and windows pronto.

Now I'm off to bed with Harry Potter.

sorry, hm, i've made it v. clear on this thread that when the parents aren't there or aren't bothering then that's a completely different issue. twiglett has specifically disagreed.

oh no BK I don't think I did specifically disagree that kind of reasonable comment at all

Where, BK? I have read the thread, although not learnt it off by heart, and I didn't see that?