Do you correct other peoples children over manners?

[unicorn]

I have this ongoing issue with one of my dds friends...
whenever she is in the back of my car, she talks about me as though I weren't there...
eg "what did SHE say..?"

Anyway there is something very irksome about this 6 year old...
I corrected her a while back when she asked for something without a please, or thankyou... and I guess she thinks I am a cow!

Anyhow just wondered - do you 'correct' other kids (even though their parents may have different standards vis a vis manners?)

Now DS is 4.5 and his friends are around the same age I don't even let them get away with statement of facts either 'I'm thirsty' gets a 'that's interesting' response

I only respond to a 'Please may I have some juice"

Blossomhill have reread my post it should have said
"the mother beleived that the daughter had a speech problem and therefore couldn't say sorry"

Sorry am posting on here while writing an essay so am not concentrating.

My essay is on language acquisition in young children!!!

That makes more sense I wasn't having a go btw it just didn't make sense!

that's funny

I didn't think you were having a go! I was just trying to explain a complicated example without saying too much, had begun to wish I hadn't said anything!

The state of my essay is funny!

Good I am glad you didn't think that

I was interested as I have had people (strangers) demand an "excuse me" /pardon etc from ds1 - One incident was when he was about 4- rising 5- we were at the supermarket where he was crammed into a trolley. He had a tic - a cough- and a woman flew out of nowhere and said " don't be so rude young man put ypur hand over your mouth and say sorry". Well obviously he didn't understand one single word of that and I really couldn't be arsed to do the "oh yes he's terribly disabled" routine.

Another time - when he was about 5 he was told he was rude for not answering "what's your name? is it john? what cat got your tongue?" I was in an appointment with the door open and he was sat on the stairs outside. Again couldn't be bothered with the explanations.

Jimjams - I am with you on that. Dd constantly bumps into people (spatial awareness problems) and some of the looks I get. It's so hard as quite often dd doesn't even realise that she has done it!

Jim Jams that is just rude!

and if I'm out with ds1 all my attention is on getting him through the experience without kicking off. If I stopped to explain he'd be headbutting the floor. I don't go out with him much (not to places that need social interaction/queuing etc), unless i can guarantee it's empty.

who me or them twinset?

he looks "normal" so people really don't understand.

Sorry Jim Jams they are being rude interfring busy bodies!

well i guess they think they're doing the community bit of raising a child. Just looking at him its very hard to tell he has SN at all, let alone realise that he's severely autistic. I've found that waving a PECS book around whilst saying "good listening" etc in a loud voice keeps them at bay. Although to be honest I just don't take him to the supermarket (except to buy 2 items and practice queuing when quiet), or anywhere really if there are people around.

By community I meant those around you that you know not busy bodies on the street!

no but some people think it should.

TBH I've told random kids off for anti-social behaviour (without parents and not too old!)

Also nowadays other people's opinions are the least of my worries if I'm honest. There are times in the past when they have got to me, but if anyone causes me grief I bin them these days!

I do have to watch myself, as an ex teacher I do find it hard to stand back when kids are misbehaving. But after my incident I mentioned below I do try and stand back and assess the situation before diving in.

I have been guilty of frogmarching truanting children back into school when I have been out with dd. Truanting is one issue I think that a community in the wider sense could take action on rather than turning a blind eye.

So maybe I am one of those busybodies on the street! Just need my housecoat to complete the image!

Litter is my thing. I have told off random teenagers for dropping McDees paper on the pavement. My mortified husband goes mad.........

I thought you were in the 'don't talk to my kid' camp niceglasses

I'd like to think I'm far away from the "thats my kid don't talk to him" actually, but I'm a fully paid up member of the "thats my kid, don't jump in when I'm 2ft away and lay into him".

Is what I said I think.

Is teenagers throwing litter on streets different? Maybe being hypocritical...its just my thing is litter.

jimjams - yet again, I've read your posts, and learned something about how a SN child might behave! I was never aware of this sort of thing before.

This thread is interesting though - because manners vary from country to country. dx regards English habits of saying Please etc all over the place as being rather twee and affected. In his country, it's polite to say "Give me orange juice" in a polite sort of way. No need for the please. Our children have grown up with the same sort of direct speech. I must admit, I'd have little patience with anyone who told my childen they were wrong because they didnt say Please.

Blimey, go away for a minute (to try and deal with RL!) and what happens?!

I tend to agree with twiglett, about community responsibility.

If we as parents all had the same core value system (in that I mean manners, respect etc) and clearly showed it (actions and words) children (NT

• not SN) would have a clearer idea as to appropriate/inappropriate behaviour.

I think some parents don't necessarily regard manners etc, as important life skills.

nightynight .. are you children growing up in the UK? (just interested)

nightynight, if your kids are growing up in the uk then you'd better get going on teching them the pleases and thank you's otherwise they are going to wind up being pretty unpopular.