MN Little Italy 18

[DemonBradleySlaysPippi]

Where are you????

poor minigio, hope it passes soon.......

MM, I had a few phases, but really there were always some PIL issue at the bottom of it. but from what you said, I think it's just out of the resentment because of the move. hey, once you move, you can always tell him to sleep underground

I'm in constant nit paranoia (I had them 5 times at school, my hair was bum-length) because of DS's hair, so I'm doing the conditioner treatment once a week or 2-3 times a week when we get a letter saying there are nits in his class

Masseuse, I'm sorry to hear you are fighting. Yes, I did have periods when I felt anger towards my dh and they occurred when ever I felt unhappy in the UK.

yup that sounds like me after dd1 was born. He was the one who pushed for having kids so soon so I blamed him for destroying the life I had. Now obviously I do not thik this way. But it did last a good 8 months - till I found my feet again.

Yes, I love him dearly, but he gets on my nerves at regular intervals.

I don't think people change tbh, maybe after years of therapy? You will be allright once you have your world, either work or studies, back.

and the dependancy (sp?). yup yup yup.

Catching up:

Gio - poor DS!

Pippi (love your Halloween name, btw! ) - does that mean DD1 is ok?

Rosa, glad wedding went ok.

I've seen conseguenze and caos calmo [sob]. Not the others. Who are these apparently succulent (franca! PMSL!!! ) men of whom you speak. Must watch.

Oh, and to answer your qu. MM, no, I've not really felt anger towards DH.

I think it is perfectly understandable. Does he understands?

What ways do you want to change about him? I only recently realised that the things that annoy me about dp (little things, but still..) will never change, no way, he is in his 40s, this stuff is ingrained. But felt happy about coming to realisation. But the shit stuff is what makes him, so I have to accept them.

I must say I do not want to change dh. Not that there aren't things that annoy me mind you but minor things overall.

minipippi had a coughing fit that woke her up and made her cry and lasted 5 minutes and she almost chocked. It seems so extreme. boh.

Penthe here are the succulent actors in Romanzo Criminale.
Watch out for il Libanese (Pier Francesco Favino), il Freddo (kim rossi Stuart), il Dandi (santamaria), il Nero (my scamy)

he understands i think but not 100%. he's never allowed me to feel sorry for myself over this which i think really upset me. it's always it will be fine, it will be great, you will make friends, we'll find a great school for dds, you'll find a job etc etc. for me this is equivalente to him not listening to a word i say, and dismissing all my fears, whcih scares me he won't support me in my difficulties. franca you must know what i'm talking about? he says that i am making a disaster movie in my head and if i just take it as it comes i might enjoy it whereas i am setting everything up for failure.

and the dependency is a big deal. i already depend on him financially but now i feel i have no safey net whatsoever, financial or social.

Off to bed.

Grazie per le 4 grasse risate.

I do not want to change dh either. I 'm very fond of him. But I did resent him when we were in the UK. Wrongly, because I chose to follow him in the UK. I felt guilty for not making the most of being there and not enjoying it. But I was also angry at him. It was a vicious circle.

Yes, I totally get what you mean Masseuse.

I like the work fond, rather than love.

I am leaving you ladies, I don't know what to say MM, I am terrible at moves in general. You will have to be very organised and focus on finding a job, that will need to be your priority.

Notte.

MM I think this is how generally men try to help. I am not taking this from men mars and women venus thingy I promise. But friend had similar problem with her dh. She was telling him how tired she was how hard things were etc and he kept tellling her how she should do things differently giving her advice etc. Till one day we were talking and she realised that all she wanted was for him to let her be sad and moan away. she told him all that and they both understand eachother better.

My dh is great at that, he pretends to listens and rarely tells me what to do. I feel understood (he prob didn;t hear a word) and he's not eaten alive. Sad but true.
For example when I was complaining I felt ot of shape etc he started telling me how to organise my day so that I could fit the gym every day (when dd1 was at nursery)! I cut his head off "how do you dare telling me to pack my bag at night and to be more organised, don;t you realised how hard is to get us all dressed and to school and back again and clean and cook etc on and on and on"
"I was only trying to help..." he said.

thank you. really going to bed now. xx

You will have to focus on your life and tell dh that you will be like this for a good while, to axcept it and hold on for better times.

notte.

Yes I am very fond of my dh but I also love him very very much.

the WORD fond

Yes, I agree, they think they are helping but they are not.
I went through all the emotions you are feeling Masseuse, though they started to pile up after I moved. I remember being so excited to move to the UK.

dp is like that "I was only trying to help..." and me "ROARRRR", the poor sod gets eaten alive.

I'm off to bed. Good night all.

MM - have you up til now been the strong one emotionally-speaking? Has your DH generally relied on you to be strong in this way? Maybe he is finding your vulnerability difficult to cope with (no excuse, but...), and can't process this situation, IYSWIM. What would you like him to say or do? Could you write it down - for yourself at least, even if you don't give it to him?

Is his present behaviour or attitude a surprise to you? Or is it typical? I mean, I get irritated or frustrated with DH at times, but I know him so well, and all his "faults", so things he does never surprise me - they may still irritate me, but not for long as I knew what I was getting when I married him.

I hope you get some sleep.

Gosh, I'm quite tired actually. We have not adapted well to the clocks going back. Sigh.

Notte tutte.

DP's a bit like yours now, pippi, but initially he didn;t understand why I got f'd off with the tens of phonecalls to/from PILs every day, for example, he didn;t see the intrusion (I mean imagine up to 35 calls in a day (I counted them!!) to talk about s*it or nothing at all. eventually I got fed up and told him once DS was born I would have not tolerated anyone waking him up calling a million times a day. now instead he tries to help "oh, look, I didn't have this saggy bum 3 years ago" "well, you have too start doing a bit of davina then" (wrong, he should have said my bum was perfect )

MM, you need a project to sfogarti...