MN Little Italy 14

[Penthesileia]

Ciao, welcome!

Yes, come back

well, surely it's not just down to finance, if you won;t be happy there... keep us posted!

must be s.thing in the air anyway, haven't spoken to DP since this morning. we had an argument, he still doesn't understand why I got so upset (and now he's acting as the wronged one too)... and as usual his parents are at the root of our arguments. will drafter is coming back tomorrow because DP has decided to keep PILs happy and make some changes, because "you never know, you could end up with a squandrel and abandon the kids after I've gone". very very long story, all to do with them putting down most of the deposit to buy this house, but I feel so not trusted and loved, for f sake, we;ve been together 11 years, we have 2 kids and it's pretty clear I never stayed with him for the money! I waited for him while he "found himself" for 6 months in Africa, put money for recording studios,I stayed in this country despite not having family and friends because of him, as he won't leave his parents, I'm paying extra on my pension premium so that if I'd died he'd have the same rights as a widower, and at my lowest moments I always think at least I've got him and he loves me... but this... I don;t care about the house or the money, if he died I'd go back to italy, it's just what he's thinking, or rather his parents, and at least on this he could put his foot down. if anything, I'd be the one always out of pocket, having no right on the house despite putting all of my savings and 7 years of blood sweat and tears on it. and we were having such a good period too, just the other day he was saying how much closer we've been recently. well, there's the grand canyon between us at the moment! can't believe I've put myself in the same situation as my mum, away from family, constantly being told by my granma that that wasn't her house.

sorry, long rant, but I'm fuming, and it's difficult to explain without saying too much...

could you come to a compromise that makes it clear that you have a right to a certain percentage of the house as you have been making payments?

actually to be honest it should be 50/50, so if both of you have the energy of running off...

i recommend Lo scafandro movie, very beautiful, not depressing, with a lot of subtle humour...

Oh Camo, that's really shit. I'm sorry. Can't he see how unreasonable his parents are being?

I'm pretty sure, you know, that if you've put down mortgage payments, or can demonstrate that you've invested money in the house, then you have a legal right to a fair percentage of it. They can't just "will" that away because of a deposit.

Camo sorry to hear this. Is it the PIL putting these daft thoughts in his head re you running off and leaving kids??It's so wrong that they have this say because they gave a deposit, FFS if you do something like that for your kid, you do it out of love not to have a controlling stake in their lives!

HURRAH HURRAH just had phone call from chosen school and ds is in from September!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am sooooooo excited.
Whether he will be when he realises what is going to happen is another thing little mammone that he is
We have our first parents meeting on Friday

Gio, that's great news. You must be so relieved and happy.

Now, fingers crossed for Pippi and her DD!

Camo & MM - hope you are ok today.

Oh, and franca - how is DD? Has her temperature gone down?

Congrats to mammonegio!

oh Camo , I can just imagine how shit you feel inside. It is crap... what rubbish is this about his PIL interfearing with your lives! Oh don't know what practical advise to give you but do not change the will in a way that you are not happy with. Do not. If, god forbid, your DP dies, or both of you, you have to be able to make right decision for all of you. And if this means going back home, so be it! It is nothing to do with PIL. They can see the children as much on holiday.

But I think the main problem is that sentence dp said to you, no? about the mistrust. and it's rubbish when they've done smthing wrong, and they know it, but cannot quite admit it and so they get defensive and start turning the cards around and say shit that they do not mean but know it will hurt, or is it just my dh? and couldn't he just end up with a bimbette and forget the kids? as fairytales will tell you that is more likely to happen , vedi matrigne a destra e sinistra!

Stand your ground even if this means not talking or fighting for a fortnight. This is my plan, to stick to my guns about deeper issues that till now I left for fear of being a pain. Now I bloody will be a pain and sort things out once and for all so that do not keep resurfacing all the time.
A friend married for almost 20 years told me she always let go and now she is so taken for granted that the husband treats her like employed work (and she is the one with the money) and added that if she could go back she'd 'reimpostare' the whole marriage differently. So better scream now than end up like our mums, bless them, I guess.

Camo forza e coraggio, it's awful when you can hear the sentence in your head over and over... cry and find the strength. Do not give in to something so important.

(Must do will as well, no way DDs are going to evil SIL!)

Oh GIO [s mile][smi le][smile ]!

I am there with you celebrating. And remember the pact: drinking champagne in Rome if they'd got in!!! DD's first so maybe we will meet up soon![smi le]

yep pippi! I am here with prosecco chilling in fridge waiting! Am sure its only a matter of time before you get the call re DD now she has moved to first, fingers crossed . There is no way there wont be at least one drop out in the school making room for her

Gio we will be coming down end of august beginning of september and we'll squeeze a visit to Rome for sure, friend had baby, I haven't been for a few years and DH really wants to see it. Must arrange meet up for sure. Maybe by then I will know!!!
huuuu I can see us drinking chilled aperitivo on a terrace overlooking campo dei fiori (with screaming children covered in gelato running around!)

now is franca's or rosa's turn to have a row with DH.

Definitely Pippi!!!!! I will be around by then, Sputnik will you be local by then? How about a Rome meet up?

Just received postcard from DS to Dd1 McM... I could cry!!!!

Oh didn't noticed the romantic picture... shall we start preparing this arranged marriage then ?

Bloody hell Camo, I would be fuming too. What if he ended up with a waster and abandoned the kids? I'm all for covering every eventuality, but to have it put that way is a bit much. Hope you can sort it out.

Congratulations on the scuola materna, that gives me a bit more hope for getting DS into one next year.

We will indeed be in Rome by then, planning to be installed by last week of august as DD starts school 1st september. Would be nice to meet up.

Speaking of which, Delgirl is coming over this afternoon, so I've been tidying up in her honour

not sure how faithful my ds will be, he has a few girls on the go, all nationalities, shapes and colours.

Camo, I'm really angry on your behalf. I don't understand what he wants to do, does he want to put the house only in his name? What happens then if he runs off with someone else?
I totally echo pippi's and everyone else's words. Do not change the will! Keep up posted on how you go on sweetie.

Gio: for the school! Yuppie! Will he be 3 by the time he starts school or will he be younger than that? I know they are usually especially careful with the youngest ones during the inserimento, especially with little boys... I hope the mammone gets used to it! Most of them do ...

A Rome meet up? God I'd love to! I haven't been for decades! Actually I'd love to take ds to see all the roman stuff, but I'd also love to go on my own and do the Musei vaticani properly.

I always row with dh! Actually, I scream and he doesn't listen to me

Sput, say hello to delgirl

Penthe, dd seems fine today, still had a temp yesterday. But I'm taking her to the paediatrician in an hr, as we are going (forse) on holiday in sat and I want to make sure she is fine.
A proposito Mccloud we are going to decathlon and get a tent there.

Where is rosa? Is she getting organized for her settimane al mare?

on saturday I meant

!!!! Camo stand your ground that is terrible. Ok so what if his parents paid for the house as you said you have put in 7 yrs of love and money - At the end of it all should anything happen to you or him then it is what is best for the children and it is up to the remaining parent to decide that not any in laws making decisions NOW when they might not even be round. IMO half should go to you and the other half divided between the children or vice versa ... Obviously I don't know your situation but I would be mad as well.
DH and I have divisione di bene and even though I was a bit about that I understand why we did it but again we will have everything put in writing this summer ( I hope)
Gio fantastic news about the school I am very pleased for you welcome to the school mums club ( tissues always needed and not just for your ds !)

Agree with rosa!!! btw we need a new thread here Little italy 15