Tell me a joke that genuinely made you laugh

[WheresThatCatGoneNow]

Tell a joke that made you laugh.

I heard a good one recently.

A little toddler runs up to her Grandma, and says

"Grandma, pick me up."

Grandma says

"Oh, I'm sorry, darling, I can't pick you up any more, I'm getting an old lady now."

Granddaughter says

"What do want an old lady for? You've got meeee!"

Made me laff anyway!

Bloke in hospital says to the nurse, "nurse are my testicles black?"
Nurse says, " I don't know, let me check" She goes to the patient, has a look and feel and says "no, they look ok to me"
Bloke says, That was lovely but I'll ask again...

Are my test results back?"

That reminds me of a Milton Jones one....

Q. What has two eyes and smokes ?
A. Pompeii

I was at the supermarket the other day and a man threw a block of cheese at me. I said that wasn’t very mature.

How does an elephant disguise itself?

It paints its feet yellow and stands upside down in a bowl of custard.

(Clever these elephants aren't they?!)

A man walks into a pub and says to the barmaid
' can I smell your fanny?'
'No you can't!! ' she replies
'Oh, it must be your feet then' he says.

Bob has no arms.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Not Bob.

If Stevie Nicks married William Shatner, would she be Stevie Shatner Nicks?

What do you call a blind deer?
No idea.
What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
Still no idea.
What do you call a castrated blind deer with no legs?
Still no fucking idea.

I put my vacuum cleaner on eBay, it was only gathering dust

Two lions walking through town.

One says to the other: "Not many people about".

This made me laugh!

What’s the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breasts?

Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. 🦞 don’t ask me why I laughed, it just really tickled me.

That proper made me laugh.

I like one of Dave Allen's jokes where he turns the awful trope of "Irish jokes" on its head.

An Irish builder is being interviewed by an English foreman who gives the impression of thinking the Irish man is dim.
Eventually the foreman asks:
"Are you sure you know the difference between a girder and a joist?"
The Irish chap says:
"Well that's simple. Goethe wrote Faust and Joyce wrote Ulysses."

Much better spoken, obviously.

What do you call a Reliant Robin with a football in it?
A whistle...

How do you titilate an ocelot?

You oscillate its tits a lot.

Stationary store moves.

What do you call a three-legged donkey?

A Wonkey!

What do you call a man with no shins?
Toe-knee

I daren't tell you the joke that made me mop my eyes years ago because it was one of Roy Chubby Brown's and I'm now ashamed of myself !

What's yellow & smells of bananas?
Monkey sick!

My 8 year old's favourite joke!

What do you call a man with a small penis?
Justin.

What do you call a man with an even smaller penis?
Tintin.

Where do the naughty rainbows go?

Prism. It's a light sentence but it gives them time to reflect.

Why can’t you get a headache tablet in the jungle ?
the parrots ate ‘em all

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Halloumi