Boyfriend is gonna leave me when I fall pregnant from donor

[Mumpls]

My partner is diagnosed with azoospermia, and he is not open to consider adoption or donor conception.
I still want to become a mother and I can’t see myself living a child free life.
I love my partner very much, but I don’t want to choose between him and a baby.

I’m planning to become pregnant from a donor, and he says that he will leave me as soon as I’m pregnant.
Is it a better idea to leave him before I start getting pregnant or shall I just wait and see if he really follows through on his words?
Right now I’m in denial if he really means what he’s saying.

@Mumpls I understand it feels unfair to you, you found a man you loved and were going to have a baby but now that's all off because he can't father a DC and only wants his own. It must feel even more unfair to him, it's a hard thing to find you're infertile, and not every man can accept another man's child. He's not denying you the chance of Motherhood, he's not trying to force you to give up your dream but you will have to do it without him. Wouldn't it be kinder to end it now so you can both go and get on with your lives

This is really sad and some of the comments here are unreal.

He is absolutely not a loser or vile to not want to be with you if you do this.

'Wanting or not wanting a family is a fundamental issue of compatibility.' Yes and no. Maybe he would like a family but donor sperm is a non negotiable for him? It is for me. I would rather be childless than use donor sperm or eggs or surrogacy.

I would be hugely hurt if my DP decided to get a donor egg and a surrogate to have a baby I couldn't give him. Would that make me vile and a loser? No, thought not.

If the shoe was on the other foot, and you were infertile and he wanted to impregnate someone else with his sperm to have a child, and you would leave if he did that you would not be considered a bad person.
I swear some people are very ready to name call others strong names without engaging their brain, or having any thought of what it might be like if they were in the situation.

Sometimes life deals us a horrible hand without it being anyone's fault. You should part ways OP if staying together means at least someone is left deeply unhappy.

I feel really really bad for your DP. People can be so unthinking when it comes to the desire for children and the morals and ethics of donor stuff and purposefully depriving children of knowing their genetic origins and the potential impact it has. Makes me sad. Think of the potential kid in all this

@Daleksatemyshed, I think it’s correct indeed to break up because this is to painful to continu and it will only become worse.

@Barstools123, I agree some comments and judgements don’t make any sense at all, there is no right or wrong. I don’t want to hurt him anymore nor myself amd it’s clear that the way things go now is not good.

@virginpinkmartini I agree with the last sentence you wrote.

Ivf would significantly increase your chance of success over self insemination. Not least because in ivf you would have multiple eggs and in self insemination you may well have none.
Could you have a private fertility consult including bloods and ovarian scan so they can give you an idea if the likelihood that you even have viable eggs?

@HairyKitty, did a total blood checkup end of last year and despite my age I still have eggs and hormones were good.
If my numbers would be low the decision to be child free would be easier one.

Oooh this is like Addison and Sam in private practise!

I think you probably need to break up sadly. I disagree with everyone saying he's a bad person though. You want and need different things and it's very sad.