Am I the only MNer who...

[amialoneinthis]

... would have a problem with dh/dp masturbating or watching porn or going to a strip club?

I'm always amazed at the relaxed attitude on here - recently seen again on a couple of threads.
Dh and I don't have a lot of sex, due to children, tiredness etc. I'm still 99% certain that dh does none of the above things. I couldn't bear it if he watched any porn. My rational side wouldn't see masturbating as a problem, but I would still hate it.

I feel like that about dh-especially in summer when he is wearing shorts!

Agree with your DH's comments about the strip clubs. My DH can't understand why anyone would put themselves through the embarassment.
I've never found any interest in male strippers either. I actually had to promote a male strip group as part of a previous job and found the whole thing BORING

I saw a male strip show in my young days pre-marriage and kids and I laughed so much.here were these startling unattractive,fake tanned orange men wiggling about thinking they were god's gift,when really if they were gods gift it would be the gift you wanted to return and get a refund on!! Not remotely erotic AT ALL!

SOOO True.

I'm confused about the DH. Do you mean that you like him in his shorts, or not?

Dh practically lives in shorts and has taken to wearing a vest type t-shirt with them ... not a pretty sight, reminds me of a thin version of Onslo from that Bucket Woman thingy.

He did stop wearing them at one time. One of my (almost) radical, feminist lesbian mates borrows him regularly to any DIY that she can't be bothered to do, anyway, she told him that men who dressed the way he did was good reason for her to carry on 'doing' women (lovely turn of phrase). Must have got to hi and he took to wearing proper t-shirts and jeans. Gone back to shorts & vest lately though.

alexmum, in answer to your question about looking at men, YES!

Gobble, I know i can book a lesson, but was rather hoping ndep would give me a freebie!

no I meant I feel 'cor look at him'when i see dh in his shorts!!! He's very tall and has nice meaty thighs and a vvv pert bottom.And he's generally very handsome indeed.

lou that really surprises me .I just don't look at other men really (apart from lionel richie of course!)

Right.
In general, mine's quite cute - got vile legs though, too skinny, needs building up. Even when he used to weight train, his legs were still skinny.

Any way back to the thread.

joash,that's how I know I married the right man ..I still fancy him like mad even after all these years!

Agree totally, but still can't bring myself to admire his legs.

Bum upwards....great. No problem. Regular urges to snog his face off.

lionel ritchie is a bit extreme imo

Dh knows I drool over certain members of the opposite sex. He finds it all amusing really in an eyball rolling way.

there are certain famous men , i can look at and think 'they are nice'...in particular Hugh bonneville who I think just comes across as being the loveliest man..but in real life,no I don't really notice them.

Who's Hugh bonneville ?

one of the nicest things for me about thinking dh is so handsome is that ds1 is his spitting image.face shape,hair,mouth,build,mannerisms everything.ds2 looks like me!

Hugh Bonneville is the actor who played the stockbroker friend in Notting Hill.,He's been in all sorts of things.

Sorry, no offense but I still don't have a clue.

It's DH's smile that does it for me - along with a certain twinkle in the eye.

dh is just fab.He's tall,handsome,very very kind,very intelligent,a super dad,an ace husband and all round good egg!and on that note I really should go to bed.kids will have me up in a few hours!

amialoneinthis, are you ok? You aren't alone!, I totally understand where you are coming from. It's good that you trust your DH/DP and believe what he says....and why not?! Some men use loads of porn , some use some, and some use none. I know that some men don't masturbate, obviously it's entirely plausible that your DH is one of them. You have every right to feel however you do about porn/masturbation/strip clubs, and every right to feel entirely comfortable within your relationship.

This is not intended as a criticism of anyone else's dh or dp or about their relationship. Many women want different things from me. But, I share your views amialoneinthis for the same reasons as fisil's partner. Also, I have had relationships in the past with men who don't like or want porn and with one man who had a lot of well-educated arguments about why porn did not involve any exploitation. Oddly enough, that man was the least confident and least fun in bed, I think because he was inhibited by a lot of weird ideas about sex which he had picked up from that genre. I certainly feel that a man's attitude and awareness about the exploitation and respect issues connected with the sex trade sends me a signal about how he is going to behave towards me, and whether I would want to get into a relationship with him.

Motherinferior,

Just to let you know that I feel the same way...

and me...though I can't 'defend' DP in the same way. He does have some porn - or at least mainstream videos and mags that he has because he finds them a porny-turn-on, and he also has quite a strong (legal) pervert-streak, (no threat to anyone he meets socially, honest!). BUT he once explained to me that he would not go to a strip club or watch porn with other men because he heates the feeling of using leering at women as a way to promote male bonding, and he feels that that does degrade women. He hates that 'blokey' thing around porn.

Me too, amialoneinthis, MI, TAC, handlemecarefully etc. My husband thinks the organised sex trade exploits and degrades women and men. As do I tbh.

just wanted to ask if the objection is the secrecy which surrounds this practice at home alone? would you feel this way if the porn was shared?