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Original poster

Am I the only MNer who...

182 replies

amialoneinthis · 14/11/2004 20:57

... would have a problem with dh/dp masturbating or watching porn or going to a strip club?

I'm always amazed at the relaxed attitude on here - recently seen again on a couple of threads.
Dh and I don't have a lot of sex, due to children, tiredness etc. I'm still 99% certain that dh does none of the above things. I couldn't bear it if he watched any porn. My rational side wouldn't see masturbating as a problem, but I would still hate it.

OP posts:
jampot · 15/11/2004 19:57

Dont want to meet you on xmas do - I bet your stunning

codswallop · 15/11/2004 19:57

aha
did they think you loved them
thats hte diference with men isnt it? women see strippers as funny, men dont.

NomDePlume · 15/11/2004 19:58

Yes, Coddy, I did.

NomDePlume · 15/11/2004 19:59

PSML, Jampot !!!!!! Hardly ! It's amazing what make up and lighting can do, I did have a v good figure looking back, but that's all gone to pot now too

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:01

When I read some of this I realise what a wonderful husband mine is! and i know some of you will call me naive etc but I know that my husband is probably tempted to look at this stuff - just as in some ways I am - BUT he resists the temptation because he is in love with me. He has self-control and I am really proud of him for that.

I may be old fashioned but I am not OK about any of the stuff you talk about and I wouldn't have married a guy who was ok with any of it - it exploits other people AND it tarnishes the healthy and loving sex life we have! I think some of you should have higher expectations!

NomDePlume · 15/11/2004 20:04

Even masturbation, shortcake ? I think your 'higher expectations' comment is a little harsh, FWIW.

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:06

Even masturbation - if he wants sex, why not have it with me! and I don't mean it harshly but I have to say it as it is - and I feel you should all value yourselves highly.

KateandtheGirls · 15/11/2004 20:08

I take it you personally don't masturbate, shortcake?

motherinferior · 15/11/2004 20:08

I wanted to add something to my remark about how porn makes me feel about my body. I don't - these days - have much of a problem with my body, actually; I reckon I'm a pretty nice-looking bird and I've certainly had my fair share of drooling appreciation. But pornographic images make me feel vilely second-rate. I honestly don't think I'm the only woman they must do this to.

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:09

No I dont - I'm not against sex - I think its great but its special between me and my DH.

NomDePlume · 15/11/2004 20:10

Quite often masturbation isn't about 'wanting sex', it's about wanting a release. I do value myself highly, as you put it, which is one of the reasons I maturbate and why I feel happy enough about myself and my abilities as a wife/sexual partner to find absolutely NO ISSUE with my husband having a w*nk!

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:11

Fine - but I feel differently about it - I can get a release from sex with my DH!

Dior · 15/11/2004 20:13

Message withdrawn

codswallop · 15/11/2004 20:14

I think, as a nation we are all un necesarily preoccupied by sex

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:15

I agree that men notice other women but there is a difference between noticing and carrying the thoughts on a step further etc.

I have a very positive self -image and I am sure that would be damaged if I had married a guy who watched porn and masturbated.

NomDePlume · 15/11/2004 20:16

What's that coddy ??? Sorry, can't hear you over my orgasmic masturbatory screams of delight !!!

Sorry, childish, I know.....

Dior · 15/11/2004 20:19

Message withdrawn

NomDePlume · 15/11/2004 20:21

Excellent post, Dior. Horses for courses and all that.

motherinferior · 15/11/2004 20:21

Dior, I fully accept that everyone has sexual fantasies/proclivities/desires that aren't exclusively connected to one person, and that there's a difference between sex and love. I also, as it happens, think that the porn industry isn't the be-all and end-all (fnar fnar) of eroticism.

And quite frankly if images of anorexic models make a lot of women feel inadequate I think it's pretty damn obvious that images of naked women are going to do something similar.

Dior · 15/11/2004 20:22

Message withdrawn

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:22

I think its very debasing - and I would have been shocked - not because I'm naive but because I knew my husband well and knew that he thought this way too.

misdee · 15/11/2004 20:24

watch a bit of porn last night. it was absolutly rubbish.

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:25

I know there is a difference between sex and love but when they are always together I really feel that that is best. Sex to me is far more than physical.

Dior · 15/11/2004 20:25

Message withdrawn

shortcake · 15/11/2004 20:27

They are still human!