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Original poster

Another Mumsnetter Waves Goodbye

261 replies

TraceyP · 11/10/2004 17:09

I came to MN to find friendship, an enjoyable way of passing the time, and support for my depression and suicidal feelings. What I often find now when I switch on my PC is spiteful comments, MNers being aggressive and confrontational, and finding that you can't even post a politely worded opinion without someone hurling themselves down your throats. There are now thread titles that I won't even open because I know that people will be bitching and sniping, and I find this very sad. I have actually sat in tears this afternoon because of certain posts that I've seen, and this is not how I want to feel when I come to Mumsnet.

This is not what I want from a site which should to be friendly and supportive, so I have decided that now is the time to leave. You won't miss me, of course - most of you won't even have noticed that I've been around! - but I just wanted to say thank you to all of those people who have supported me through my recent bad patch. Thank you for your concern and for everything you have said to make me feel better.

OP posts:
JuniperDewdrop · 13/10/2004 09:57

Tissy, look at the last line in no. 3

JanH · 13/10/2004 09:57

Tissy, from Tracey's point 3:

(ie as well as the one telling her to look at the thread again).

moderatorlou33 · 13/10/2004 10:00

Tissy , she said "I also received an email from a mumsnetter who had seen my email address and thought it might be nice to pick on someone in private. "

I would take that to mean it was malicious. Mumsnet are aware of this, but please feel free to email them on [email protected] if you have more concerns.

moderatorlou33 · 13/10/2004 10:00

Blimey you lot are fast!

JuniperDewdrop · 13/10/2004 10:02

to be honest lou this thread was the first thing I thought about on waking. I just hope she's ok

Tissy · 13/10/2004 10:03

Sorry, missed that line.

Maybe we should have a complete ban on people putting their email addresses on here on future- that's what CAT is for, isn't it?

lou33 · 13/10/2004 10:04

I can't see how you could enforce that though, really.

JanH · 13/10/2004 10:05

And in any case sometimes an address needs to be given out urgently, and CAT varies in its speed - depends who's around.

lou33 · 13/10/2004 10:07

Hello Jan

Juniper, if you are worried maybe you could cat her?

JuniperDewdrop · 13/10/2004 10:08

I didn't know if she'd removed her details? I'll try it thanx

lou33 · 13/10/2004 10:10

I don't know either, but she may not have, worth a try though.

enid · 13/10/2004 10:13

MIAM and Mum2Stephen, maybe you could CAT each other, then you could discuss the 'oldies' and the 'newbies' between yourselves and in private, so as not to cause unecessary upset to anyone. Thanks.

JuniperDewdrop · 13/10/2004 10:13

just done it and it said my email addy had been passed on so here's hoping!

MummyToSteven · 13/10/2004 10:16

enid - I haven't mentioned oldies and newbies. I certainly don't intend to carry on posting on that vein - I have said my piece. but I have to confess that I lost my temper last night as I was upset that so little concern had been shown for TraceyP's state of mind.

In any case isn't the usual response to such matters recently - if you don't like it, ignore it. Why should this be any different?

JuniperDewdrop · 13/10/2004 10:20

Right I'm going offline now. Hope there's some good news re:Tracey when I come back. Hugs to all xxxxx

enid · 13/10/2004 10:25

I suppose the problem may be that so called 'oldies' have gone through this type of thread Sooooo many times before - unfortunately that may devalue Tracey's feelings which is awful really but it is the nature of things - if you read 20 threads like this you tend to lose a bit of compassion maybe. Terrible I know but it is the way of things. Also Mumsnet is so big now that 'gangs' do form - they have to, its impossible to keep track of everything - I know I always endeavour to reply on threads where people I 'know' well are asking for advice (or mucking about ) and therefore run out of time for posters whom I dont 'know' or are on subjects where I have no experience.

I think the Topics are a good way to stay with like-minded people, the problems tend to form when people come 'off Topic' and all mingle together - then we have a big culture clash. Traceys depression is obviously very serious and sad but...then there is the depression board for that very reason, likewise this is why the Chat board was set up as a lot of people got fed up with the endless 'chatting' threads and wanted to stick to the facts!

So thats my two cents, I don't think there is fundamentally a power struggle between two groups (as some replies here suggested) its just the way of things - its pretty cyclical.

MummyToSteven · 13/10/2004 10:29

enid - I agree with you about it being cyclical - and don't have any particular theories about a power struggle. i do think it is a shame if people end up staying within topics - to me one of the advantages of this board, over and above other boards, is the way that you can talk to people off the different boards.

bonniej · 13/10/2004 10:34

enid, i know this is really nothing to do with me but you just said you don't have time to post on threads of people you don't know. Why do you then have time to read and post on threads like this one that you so obviously have no patience for?

enid · 13/10/2004 10:38

no bonniej, I think you have misunderstood me, I meant I usually, actually dont have time, meaning I run out of time, not that I am not bothered by them or am uninterested. By the time I have trawled through or posted on a few threads I usually have some irritating work/life commitment that I must attend to .

lou33 · 13/10/2004 10:38

Just been emailed by someone who says they were in contact with Tracey last night, but will try and get hold of her again today to see how she is. If I get any info I will let you know.

MummyToSteven · 13/10/2004 10:39

thanks for that lou

lou33 · 13/10/2004 10:42

The things I do for mn

Tessiebear · 13/10/2004 10:47

Havnt commented on any of the reccent "unpleasantness" on MN until now. I just wanted to say though - Mumsnet should be treated like real life in that there are always people we REALLY like - so we talk/socialise with those people more than the people we dont like/who dont share our views. I have read a lot of the threads that have contained the recent controversy and part of me has wanted to comment but out of respect for the people involved have decided to keep quiet. Just because we are on a vaguely annonymous site doesnt mean we should TREAT people any different than with the respect they deserve in a real life situation. Cliques are bound to form the same way that groups of friends form in real life. I behave on MN the way i behave at any other time - i talk with people who share the same interests etc as me, i try to help out others wherever i can and if i encounter any one i dont think i will get on with i just avoid that particular thread and accept their differing views. (hope this all makes sense - just wanted to have my say! )

enid · 13/10/2004 10:48

I think that is very fair and realistic Tessiebear

Tessiebear · 13/10/2004 10:50

Enid - dont want to sound like a real "goody two shoes" but that is just the way i am!