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Original poster

Another Mumsnetter Waves Goodbye

261 replies

TraceyP · 11/10/2004 17:09

I came to MN to find friendship, an enjoyable way of passing the time, and support for my depression and suicidal feelings. What I often find now when I switch on my PC is spiteful comments, MNers being aggressive and confrontational, and finding that you can't even post a politely worded opinion without someone hurling themselves down your throats. There are now thread titles that I won't even open because I know that people will be bitching and sniping, and I find this very sad. I have actually sat in tears this afternoon because of certain posts that I've seen, and this is not how I want to feel when I come to Mumsnet.

This is not what I want from a site which should to be friendly and supportive, so I have decided that now is the time to leave. You won't miss me, of course - most of you won't even have noticed that I've been around! - but I just wanted to say thank you to all of those people who have supported me through my recent bad patch. Thank you for your concern and for everything you have said to make me feel better.

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/10/2004 16:39

only if you wear a thong and tassle enhanced bra bunglie

Original poster
TraceyP · 12/10/2004 16:41

Someone has emailed me to let me know that I'm getting quite a bashing today so I'm back posting this - I think I have the right to defend myself, although I'll probably get attacked for doing so. But don't worry, once I've said this I will certainly not be back, not after some of the things that have been intimated on other threads today.

  1. I am NOT an attention seeker. I have met some very nice, kind, supportive people on this site who I wanted to say goodbye to without them wondering where I was or being concerned by my not posting. I did not ask anyone to post and ask me not to leave, and I am not trying to make myself feel popular. If you must know I feel like shit, I am depressed and suicidal and MN is not helping that, and that is why I'm going. I don't recall anyone else being slagged off for trying to say goodbye, in fact it seems quite a common thing to do. Perhaps it was a mistake, but then again someone else has recently done a vanishing act and people are genuinely concerned for her welfare. I didn't want to worry those people who I see as my friends here.

  2. I have not changed my name on any occasion, and have certainly not changed my personality. Where this particular bone of contention became associated with me, I don't know.

  3. The smoking thread has nothing to do with this one. Spring Chicken, sorry if you thought that you had prompted this, it's not you. Some of the nastier comments there got to me, but really I am just so fed up with people being so mean that I don't want to be part of this any more. I also received an email from a mumsnetter who had seen my email address and thought it might be nice to pick on someone in private.

  4. I am normally as thick skinned as the next woman, but comments accusing me of being over-sensitive, flouncing, behaving like a 12 year old in the school yard, being arsey etc aren't what I come hear to read. I am depressed, as many of you know, and although some people (who know who they are) have been wonderful, I read some of the other rubbish on these threads and it makes me even more depressed.

  5. Turning this thread into a piss take wasn't a particularly nice thing to do. If you want to take the piss out of me then that's fine, but can I ask you to do it somewhere else.

There's no point in replying to this, I think most of you have already said everything you wanted to say and, I think, so have I.

OP posts:
JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 16:43

Awww TraceyP there were plenty of people who didn't want you to go though. Try to ignore anything negative even though it's hard. Change your name if you have to but please don't go. You've been such a help to others and I'm not crawling btw even though it sounds it. Feel free to CAT me at any time. I'm sorry someone has emailed you and been getting at you, that's awful

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 16:58

TraceyP at somebody e-mailing you on your private e-mail for malicious purposes. If I had been in TraceyP's position I suspect I would not have had her restraint, and would have copied and pasted it onto the thread.

I really, really don't understand this particular decision to leave or "flounce" has caused so much aggro, and why there has been so little sympathy for someone feeling depressed.

JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 17:00

it's so scary though isn't it MTS? How did they get her addy? have they trawled through messages to get it? Mine could be here somewhere for all I know

tamum · 12/10/2004 17:02

That's truly appalling about the email. For what it's worth, my interpretation of this thread is that it has turned into a general discussion, as many of them do. Although it may sound as though posts are being directed at you because you started the thread, in reality they are remarks about mumsnet in general. Incidentally, you are far from being the only person to have been criticized for saying goodbye/flouncing, it has happened many times before. Please don't feel so bad.

Beccarollover · 12/10/2004 17:03

hear hear tamum - its rare for a thread on mumsnet to stay on topic.

Im feeling a bit of a berk as i think i was one of the ones that deviated from the original post on this thread but its nothing that doesnt happen on other threads all the time.

Mumsnet is exhausting at the moment!

blossomhill · 12/10/2004 17:06

Poor you TraceyP There are some real bitchy people on mumsnet at the moment. What a shame I personally think the whole thing is outrageous. If these people behave like this in RL I doubt they have any friends to be honest.
Said my piece!!!!! Oh and I really don't vare what people think of me. I know the people on here I like and why! The majority of people on here are lovely. Like me, a mum who just wants to have somewhere they can go to chat and get advice. Have a laugh, can't remember the last time that happened to be honest.
Be strong TraceyP and don't let this make you feel any worse than you obviously already do! BlossomHillxxx

codswallop · 12/10/2004 17:07

NO she said someone emailed her to etll her she was getting abshing

connyflower · 12/10/2004 17:08

for goodness sake obviously tracey needs a friend right now i wonder if everyone would be so bitchy if they were face to face, i come on here too to make friends... it must be hard for her to post if she feels people are slagging her, come on, tracey dont stop posting because of other peoples hurtful comments! this is meant to be a friendly site come on lets keep it this way dont turn people away, one day you might need to reach out for some support, thats what this site is supposed to do afterall

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 17:08

cod no theres another mention of a nasty email further down her post

codswallop · 12/10/2004 17:08

Oh i see apols

JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 17:08

I also received an email from a mumsnetter who had seen my email address and thought it might be nice to pick on someone in private.

tamum · 12/10/2004 17:09

I thought it was both- an email warning her and an email from someone being nasty.

JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 17:10

that was a quote from TraceyP btw I've not been emailed yet!

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 17:11

thanks for clearing that up juniperdewdrop - I was wondering!

blossomhill · 12/10/2004 17:13

TraceyP - Not sure if you are reading this but do you know who it was that e-mailed you?

JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 17:14

yes name and shame the b***

JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 17:14

I mean the 'bad' emailer not the other one

acer · 12/10/2004 17:15

how does someone get your email address? nasty people around

JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 17:16

maybe tracey put it for someone on another thread for support etc.. and they've searched for it. Goes beyond creepy IMO

blossomhill · 12/10/2004 17:21

I suppose this is a warning to everyone. Do not give out your e-mail address. I never have and now I am so glad that I have been cautious.

moderatorlou33 · 12/10/2004 17:23

Tracey, I am very concerned that you have received an email of the nature you specified. PLEASE email [email protected] and complain about it, and I will do the same. You have an absolute right to feel safe in your own home, and you sound v shaken.

I don't think naming and shaming will do anything but start a war though, it would be best to let mn deal with it.

JuniperDewdrop · 12/10/2004 17:26

yes ok suppose you're right but it's still really creepy

carla · 12/10/2004 17:28

TraceyP, I wrote 'at least Jane could type'. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to belittle any situation. I think it just ran into that 'cos people thoughtI really miss your humour, particularly as I can't read any of the 'sad' threads.