Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Another Mumsnetter Waves Goodbye

261 replies

TraceyP · 11/10/2004 17:09

I came to MN to find friendship, an enjoyable way of passing the time, and support for my depression and suicidal feelings. What I often find now when I switch on my PC is spiteful comments, MNers being aggressive and confrontational, and finding that you can't even post a politely worded opinion without someone hurling themselves down your throats. There are now thread titles that I won't even open because I know that people will be bitching and sniping, and I find this very sad. I have actually sat in tears this afternoon because of certain posts that I've seen, and this is not how I want to feel when I come to Mumsnet.

This is not what I want from a site which should to be friendly and supportive, so I have decided that now is the time to leave. You won't miss me, of course - most of you won't even have noticed that I've been around! - but I just wanted to say thank you to all of those people who have supported me through my recent bad patch. Thank you for your concern and for everything you have said to make me feel better.

OP posts:
carla · 12/10/2004 17:40

I really mustn't log on whilst trying to cook supper. What I meant to say was that I think it ran that way 'cos everyone thought you had gone, but Coddy's thread came up on this and some people (me included) replied to it. Nothing to do with you, just, I suppose, the progression of a thread. I don't read the emotional threads (can't), but just wanted to say that at times you have had me splitting my sides with laughter, and hope you come back soon.

xxCarla

Bunglie · 12/10/2004 18:13

Are you sure these emails came from a Mumsnetter...I don't mean that to sound horrid or anything in doubting you, but I stopped giving out my email address, as for the one time that I did I got a particularly nasty email from someone who had read my posting but was not a regular mumsnetter.
I suggest that you do as Lou33 says, because I even stopped my CAT because of this particular email, and some of you will remember it, but I think anyone who does something like this is a coward and does not realise the distress that can and is being caused.
You have my sympathy TracyP.
I would also like to make it clear in my 'little rant', it was nothing personal to you, and certainly nothing with regard to name changes or anything to do with smoking,regarding you.
It was just that I seriously do not understand this thread and I just wanted to say, I don't understand but take me or leave me because this is me,what I think and do and I like mumsnet.
I am sorry that you are feeling down at the moment and a 'nasty' email was the last thing you needed, so I suggest that you forward it to the mumsnet team and let them deal with it.
In RL people don't agree but at least here we can offer you support when you are feeling down, but please don't take what I wrote personally...
It has to be your decission what you decide to do but it must also be obvious that you have friends here who will miss you.

October · 12/10/2004 19:54

Message withdrawn

joanneg · 12/10/2004 19:57

TraceyP - all of this aside - I was really concerned that you say that you are suicidal.

I know that you may have had a hard time on some of the mumsnet thread, but why not stick to posting on the 'feeling low' board.

I know that you have before - I think that the posters are genuinely interested in your welfare and in helping you on this board- so dont give up on the whole website please. This will pass, I know you are annoyed and I understand why, but if you need support there are people on here that want to help. Also I am concerned that you seek proper help if you are suicidal (such as your doctor or the samaritans). I hope that you are ok xx

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 21:53

TraceyP - hope that you are feeling a little better, and that if you continue to feel so down that you go back to your GP asap. I have to say that I am quite ashamed that Mumsnet is becoming an unfriendly environment for the stressed and depressed, and have sympathy with the recent posters who have compared it to a school playground.

MUMINAMILLION · 12/10/2004 22:25

This is just too sad for words.

TraceyP - take the positive from this - look at all the lovely people who really appreciated you and are going to miss you. I think you are doing the right thing though - a break is as good as a rest kind of thing. But I'll keep in touch, and we'll all be waiting with the champagne when you come back! (You'd better hurry though - don't know how long I can keep it off these alky MNers!)

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 22:28

couldn't agree more MIAM

MUMINAMILLION · 12/10/2004 22:31

It's the pits isn't it?

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 22:36

it is just becoming the sort of environment these days where people get upset, and the response is - can't you take a joke - just like the school playground. What shocks me is the distinct lack of sympathy by many for the fact that Tracey is feeling very down. oh well let's hope it's all just a phase of the moon on MN and soon passes.

MUMINAMILLION · 12/10/2004 22:39

What upsets me more MTS is that on other threads they actually joke about what has gone on and egg on the people responsible i.e. I thought you were soooooo funny etc. etc. Classic bully and henchman type behaviour. Lets hope this is the end of it, but I doubt it.

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 22:58

Didn't spot that/pick up on that fortunately MIAM!

MUMINAMILLION · 12/10/2004 23:04

Just as well MTS. No good 2 of us being unable to take a joke!!!

blossomhill · 12/10/2004 23:23

Well said. I have often compared it to a school playground and for someone to do this to someone who could really do without it is sick. Tracey came on here for support and unfortunately has been made to feel 100 times worse. Sometimes I cannot believe this is a forum for "mums".
Behave like one!

nightowl · 12/10/2004 23:25

so sad, i come on here to get away and there are so many threads now dominated by bitchiness. ok so if someone thinks someone else is an attention seeker then thats their opinion which they're entitled to..i really dont think theres any need to take the piss out of them though...thats just not fair.

MUMINAMILLION · 12/10/2004 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hatter · 12/10/2004 23:28

Tracey P - I've been wondering whether to go too...so I've been lurking and being very selective...and in doing so have kind of found the old mumsnet that I enjoy and have ignored all the other shit. stick around - I loved your post on telling kids that you love them. stay for those threads and ignore the otehrs

blossomhill · 12/10/2004 23:33

MIAM - I think you are probably right! I just rise above the nasty comments but on this occassion I genuinally (sp?) feel for Tracey.

Rhubarb · 13/10/2004 09:06

TraceyP, my post wasn't aimed at you but others who make a habit of flouncing off. I haven't read any of your threads and have no intention of doing so. Ignore what is said, it all blows over sooner or later. As an oldie I can honestly say that I have seen this time and time again, it is human nature to bitch but don't take it personally, it's just cyberspace, none of us are real!

But yeah, I hate the whole changing names thing, really gets up my goat!

leglebegle · 13/10/2004 09:17

I'm really narked off now! When I had my first child 2 years ago, I entered the exclusive club of 'motherhood'. I joined the NCT, met 6 great women and then gradually all my confidence in myself as a mother drained away. There was so much sniping, so much 'no I don't let them watch TV/eat biscuits/have a routine, it absolutely did my head in. I relocated last Christmas and was pregnant with my (now 3 month old). I deliberately didn't join any 'clubs' or 'coffee mornings' and I have felt liberated to be honest. I have made my own decisions and trusted my own instinct. No-one has judged me or made me feel crap for my own choices. I have found MN to be great company over the last few weeks. For goodness sake, why do women do this to each other? I don't presume that the choices I make are right for everyone, and I have friends and read people's threads here and realise they make choices I would never make re:work or not to work etc etc, but who cares? THey aren't my choices. Why do people get so up themselves and believe their way is right. To get nasty about it is just pathetic.

Frenchgirl · 13/10/2004 09:42

eeek! what's going on here? you take a couple of weeks off whilst your parents are visiting and come back to this? Think I might just do some work then....
TraceyP I hope you're OK though

marthamoo · 13/10/2004 09:47

Hiya Frenchgirl - I was wondering where you were. It has been pretty crazy round here lately (I'm wondering if we all synchronise our periods like nuns in convents do and therefore all have PMT at the same time?) but I hope it's getting back to normal now.

Frenchgirl · 13/10/2004 09:51

hi martha, dh would probably agree with your explanation!! let's hope the heated debate cools down then.

MistressMary · 13/10/2004 09:54

I find it strange how a site designed for support, then manages to get to this stage.
Unfortunatley this site in not exclusive to this kind of thing. I recently switched sites because of a similar thing and found this place.
I wish us grown ladies,could act with some decorum. It's funny and a thought but do the men resort to this?

Tissy · 13/10/2004 09:56

I've just read TraceyP's last post, and she is not saying that she received a malicious email, but that someone emailed her, to tell her that she was receiving a "bashing" on here. Well, that's not true! All the points she has listed were general comments made by people about MN at the moment. No-one has accused TP of flouncing or behaving like a schoolgirl.

She is clearly very sensitive atm, could a moderator contact her, after reading these discussions properly, to put the record straight?

MummyToSteven · 13/10/2004 09:57

tissy - yes she did receive a malicious e-mail - read further down her post