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Original poster

Another Mumsnetter Waves Goodbye

261 replies

TraceyP · 11/10/2004 17:09

I came to MN to find friendship, an enjoyable way of passing the time, and support for my depression and suicidal feelings. What I often find now when I switch on my PC is spiteful comments, MNers being aggressive and confrontational, and finding that you can't even post a politely worded opinion without someone hurling themselves down your throats. There are now thread titles that I won't even open because I know that people will be bitching and sniping, and I find this very sad. I have actually sat in tears this afternoon because of certain posts that I've seen, and this is not how I want to feel when I come to Mumsnet.

This is not what I want from a site which should to be friendly and supportive, so I have decided that now is the time to leave. You won't miss me, of course - most of you won't even have noticed that I've been around! - but I just wanted to say thank you to all of those people who have supported me through my recent bad patch. Thank you for your concern and for everything you have said to make me feel better.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 12/10/2004 13:09

Don't worry, loads of peeps on MN flounce off saying they will never return and they invariably do, they just like the attention they get from saying that they won't, and they like to have lots of peeps begging them not to leave, makes them feel popular you see. I quite liked the smoking thread.

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 13:18

a little harsh there rhubarb. some people cope better with the cut and thrust of some threads than others.

MUMINAMILLION · 12/10/2004 13:23

Yes MTS. Rhubarb - I did a little flouncing there, and yes flounced back again - it was a personal protest, nothing to do with wanting attention and feeling popular, I was just getting too het up with all the agro and needed cooling down. Perhaps you should change your name to Rhubarbedwire? (Meant in the nicest possible way ofcourse.... )

Snugs · 12/10/2004 13:51

Sorry if this starts another argument - but isn't half the problem the constant changing of names? People give advice to avoid certain people if they annoy you - very hard to do if they keep changing their name (and sometimes seemingly their personality as well)

codswallop · 12/10/2004 13:51

people were much nicer to me as jane!
now theres a thing!

Uwila · 12/10/2004 14:51

I agree, the split personalities probably do more harm than good. I think it's dishonest to change your name and not at the very least inform people of the change.

Uwila · 12/10/2004 14:51

Maybe Jane was nicer than Codswallop to other people too.

JanH · 12/10/2004 14:54

coddy, jane was being patronised - she sounded a bit simple! Nobody ever patronises you (or would you like us to start?)

(PS I picked up on the husband too....)

snmum · 12/10/2004 14:59

no people were nicer to me when i was fio, think its because its a real name

puddinggal · 12/10/2004 15:14

I really think that Rhubarb has a point.
I have at times gone through a mumsnet drought - but never felt the need to make an announcment about leaving.
I just went and then returned if I felt I wanted to. (I suppose like MIAM did). sorry TraceyP - I am not calling you an attention seeker - just think that you should perhaps have a little time away and you might feel differently.

jenny180283 · 12/10/2004 15:19

traceyp i find it sad that u feel that way i have come on this site for friends too

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 15:25

again puddinggal i do feel that it is a little harsh - i don't recall other people who have announced their departure from MN being called attention seekers, and feel it is particularly rough given that TraceyP appears to be feeling rather depressed atm.

puddinggal · 12/10/2004 15:38

MTS - I actually said I wasnt calling her an attention seeker! I considered my post hard before I did it, because I knew it could be constrood as argumentative - but really mean what I said - did not want to cause offence or be too hard. I suffer from depression and know how that feels. I just think that this debating about whether to leave mumsnet, not leave, trolls, slagging of of mumsnet lately is getting a bit out of hand and felt I wanted to say something.
Appreciate your view though.

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 15:39

ah well, guess we are agreeing to disagree in a civilised manner, Puddinggal

sorry to hear about the depression btw

puddinggal · 12/10/2004 15:44

thanks MTS I have PMT as well at the moment so perhaps my post was a bit blunt, but am pleased you replied honestly and tactfully (sp?)!! Always take on board what you say

carla · 12/10/2004 15:52

At least jane could type

codswallop · 12/10/2004 15:55

jane WAS nice to other people than me

codswallop · 12/10/2004 15:55

and jane could touch type.
No one wondered what had happened att " the meal"?

Bunglie · 12/10/2004 16:09

I have read through this whole thread twice.....I am still not sure I understand it....however,
I love Mnet and the support it has given me. I have had advice, even if it was not what I was looking for, it gave me a different perspective to think about and I have felt supported and as if I can talk freely.
If there is a controversial thread and an argument brewing.....I steer clear, I do not like confrontation and in this 'virtual world' I can not see the necessity for being rude or nasty. Having an opinion is a different matter and I think so long as you 'back' up your opinion with logic any reasonable person should respect it even if they disagree.
I have laughed and I have cried with the things I have read here.
As for smoking...well you can all yell at me!
I was brought up in a childrens home from the age of 14 and I started to smoke there.
When I started trying to get pregnant both my dh and I gave up.
As most of you know I 'lost' my children, I started to smoke again for about a year and then I became ill.
2 Years ago I started to smoke again, when I was in pain...or under stress, but I don't think I have smoked more than 20 a week if that.
I will not smoke in anyones house and only in their garden if they do, but again only away from children.
In my own home, the rule is if you smoke you use the garden or conservatory.
I would like to stop smoking...but at 2am when you can not sleep because you are in so much pain and you don't want to inject yourself with any more morphine what do you do? A cup of warm milk does not work...I wish it did.
If either of my children smoked I would be very upset, and to the best of my knowledge they don't know that I smoke.
I think it is important if a child sees you smoking to explain that what you are doing is wrong...and I always try to do that.
I will not deny the fact that I smoke ocassionally, but I would rather smoke than take more drugs and even my doctor has said the same and that it is not going to be smoking that kills me.
I know that I am addicted more to the 'act' of smoking than the nicotine, but it does help when I am at my wits end and there is no one around or I am upset.
Smoking in front of children is wrong, but it is not always easy to make sure there are none in sight.
If I could stop I would
Now if you all want to have a go at me please do...but,
I will still love you all, even when I don't understand what you are talking about. I will respect the fact that Lou33 will not wear sensible knickers...and for as long as mumsnet is here then so am I.
Finally, I personally feel that if I can not post under my own pseudonym then perhaps I should not be posting....but I understand the need for others to change their names when asking 'delicate' or personal questions.
Phew now I have got that out of my system I am off for a cup of tea and my 'star Trek' fix
oh and finally, finally, If you want to go, then go, but remember that you have bought joy and enlightenment to others and leave with pleasant memories.
Bunglie XX

lou33 · 12/10/2004 16:18

adjusts thong....

JanH · 12/10/2004 16:20
tamum · 12/10/2004 16:20

I did- I asked you about the meal and you said you'd be back to tell me and then buggered off Still keep giggling about the harvest time.

JanH · 12/10/2004 16:21

Sorry, bunglie's bit made me think of the Moody Blues.

MummyToSteven · 12/10/2004 16:25

bunglie - you'll have to find a more exotic vice than smoking to get me shouting and ranting at you! agree with you re: use of pseudonyms.

Bunglie · 12/10/2004 16:32

Janh
Now Jean-luc pickard (Patric Stewart) awaits my drooling...so I am off to drool into my tea.

PS. Thank you for letting me have a rant...I feel so much better...perhaps I ought to try this at 2am in the morning......

And Lou33- New rule:-
All moderators need to be seen to feel secure...In all areas...so put those nice knickers on and tuck them in your bra