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Original poster

Am I the only one who worries that modern parenting techniques will result in a nation of brats who expect everybody

424 replies

Twiglett · 28/03/2007 08:50

to do what they want them to do, to not exhibit any negative emotions or vocabulary and to accept any way they act

I do wonder sometimes when I see some of the vehement opinions expressed on here

but then I hope this is only the nature of parenting toddlers and that these children will start to get an idea of what real life is like as they grow up and before they get rudely thrust into it not understanding why the world doesn't bend to their every whim nor explain everything in minute detail

OP posts:
mumto3girls · 28/03/2007 08:51

no you're not the only one....

brimfull · 28/03/2007 08:53

what do you mean by "modern"?

zippitippitoes · 28/03/2007 08:54

I think most parents mellow down as there children get bigger especially if they have more than one

it is ok to be idealistic if they are tiny

it is though i think a bit of a privilege to be able to be idealistic

bozza · 28/03/2007 08:57

I think you know you are not the only one. The thread about 4yo boys getting upset about having a princess plate at a girl's party, that kind of thing. Yes, of course, you wouldn't choose a princess plate but it is not your party, so tough.

Anyway I asked DS why he was naughty in his swimming lesson last night so he is obviously permanently damaged anyway.

Carmenere · 28/03/2007 08:59

Yes. It is tougher to find out about the dissappointments in life as a teenager than a child. a child has the capacity to absorb dissappointment and get over it better than a teen who is quite likely to personalise it and let it effect their lives.

Saturn74 · 28/03/2007 09:06

I think it is easy to have hard and fast rules about parenting when your children are tiny, and to be convinced that you will never do or say anything to vaguely upset them.
It's when they meet the outside world with a vengeance that you realise that your precious babies won't be scarred for life is someone makes them do as they are told even when they don't want to; or tells them that they are naughty or behaving naughtily; or punishes them for behaving inappropriately.
I agree it is a short, sharp shock for some children though - and some parents are inconsistent and weak when it comes to issues around the behaviour of their children.
And that is annoying.

mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 09:07

will result in a nation of brats??

what are you on about....we already have a nation of brats!

bratty kids who tantrum and scream and always get their own way while mummy makes excuses for likkle dahlings bad behaviour

becoming

out of control teenagers who hurl abuse at passers by and have more drugs about them than a branch of Lloyds (pharmacy, not bank!)

becoming

20somethings who still live at home, paying no meaningful board and saying they cant leave home because they cant afford to.......... buy a house, furnish it with the best, brand new stuff, shop at waitrose, have a car and still have enough cash to buy designer clothes and go out every night). leave home and make do, make your own way in the world you leeching brat!

becoming

30somethings with kids who demand their parents babysit constantly as it's their DUTY and frown when parents buy something because when your mum and dad hit 50, everything in their bank account becomes Your Inheritance and they have to go around in rags, get about on roller skates and holiday in the back yard with their own private paddling pool, lest they S.K.I.

becoming

40somethings who think they are 20 in their miniskirts / tight leather trousers and evenings strutting their funky stuff down the nightclub, under the terrible delusion they can pull a 25 yr old.

mumto3girls · 28/03/2007 09:09

Hasn't there been research and surveys proving suggesting that older teenagers levels of depression are rising, and it can perhaps be connected to the disappointment they experience when leaving school and realising that they have to work for a living, noone will make their packed lunch for them, if their boss is horrible their mum will not write a letter to the company telling them to leave their PFB alone, they have to go t work when they have cold etc etc

zippitippitoes · 28/03/2007 09:09

I also think that lots of people come to parenting sites because they are very child centred and spend a lot of time trying to work out what to do so the picture is somewhat distorted....many more parents are out there just taking things as they come..but of course soemtimes we complain about them too being too lacksadaisical

mumto3girls · 28/03/2007 09:10

mytwopenceworth..loved your post...

zippitippitoes · 28/03/2007 09:12

love the bit about us oldies havimg to holiday in the back yard my2p

LedodgyCheapEasterEggsAreASin · 28/03/2007 09:14

I've just read this thread title as modern painting techniques (my eyes are funny from too much sleep believe it or not!) and I was very confused.

bozza · 28/03/2007 09:14

love the rant mytwopenceworth. Fantastic. But a lot of truth in it. DS was whinging the other day because he "has to do everything". Everything being clearing the table, presumably, because that is all I asked him to do.

And DD would not put her own underwear away. OK she is two and stroppy. So I smiled sweetly and said that was fine I would keep it and put it in my drawer because she obviously doesn't want it anymore and she came running. Still quite gullible at 2 - can't really imagine me wearing Dora knickers.

southeastastra · 28/03/2007 09:14

i sort of agree with you twiglett.

MuminBrum · 28/03/2007 09:20

Yes. They're already at university and they are diabolical. They're called millennials and you can read all about them here .

Original poster
Twiglett · 28/03/2007 09:20

I am grovelling at your feet mtpw

OP posts:
mumto3girls · 28/03/2007 09:21

Fo some reason it seems like a large ercentage of the population now belive that the only way to be a good parent is to give their children everything - whether they can afford it or not.
It seems that rather than be judged on parenting by whether your child has manners you are judged on whether your child has brand new trainers every two months, whether their clothes are fashionable, where you take them on holiday and whther they have the latest computer game console or not...

zippitippitoes · 28/03/2007 09:23

dd1 s best gf has alreday decided that when her grandad dies her grandma will move int with her mum and gf will do up the grandmas house and sell it to make some money for herself!

luckily dd1 shares my pick jaw up from floor at this plan

Tortington · 28/03/2007 09:25

nowt a good smack wouldnt sort out

squeakybub · 28/03/2007 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

iris66 · 28/03/2007 09:34

The other damaging thing IMO thing is parents who are so bloody gushy over their offspring and are always telling them how perfect and wonderful they are (and I don't mean a couple of hugs a day here I'm talking at every available opportunity and publicly and always loudly) and refuse to tell them off when they need it because they believe that their precious ones are incapable of being, well, normal children!!!

should have parped myself there methinks

mytwopenceworth - fab post - though such a shame it's so accurate!

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 28/03/2007 09:34

well clearly you are not alone

doesn't mean you are right though...

Original poster
Twiglett · 28/03/2007 09:35

do you think I'm wrong then Filly .. come on

OP posts:
iris66 · 28/03/2007 09:36

lol custy

speedymama · 28/03/2007 09:37

Totally agree.

MTP, your post is so spot on

Millenium kids - interesting- never heard that term before

I delight in raising my DTS to be non-materialistic. They are 3yo and already hate shopping. A few weeks ago we went to Bluewater and did not spend a penny, just walked around (it was cold outside and I needed a change of scenary as DH was working away).

Also, I have absolutely no problems with saying "no" to them.