Am I the only one who worries that modern parenting techniques will result in a nation of brats who expect everybody

[Twiglett]

to do what they want them to do, to not exhibit any negative emotions or vocabulary and to accept any way they act

I do wonder sometimes when I see some of the vehement opinions expressed on here

but then I hope this is only the nature of parenting toddlers and that these children will start to get an idea of what real life is like as they grow up and before they get rudely thrust into it not understanding why the world doesn't bend to their every whim nor explain everything in minute detail

Yes, we are in danger of raising a nation of spoilt brats.

I know a child who (I believe) is never disciplined. Tantrums get sympathy, screaming I WANT always gets, whining gets cuddles and treats. The poor child is an utter nightmare to be around and it just isn't her fault. I find this terribly sad - her life will be so hard as she gets older (she's 7 now) I think her parents don't believe in ever saying anything negative to her. She genuinely believes it is her right to have the first/best/biggest of everything.

I don't think she's unique.

Oh dear, that is long, sorry

I blame working mothers

Round of applause Greensleeves, I totally agree.

Everyone's a psychologist, worried that if they deny their child an ice cream they'll be berated in court 20 years later, as the primary cause of their now adult child's trauma that caused them to take a machete to the high street.

Er, well, perhaps not everyone...

I think there's an underlying belief with some that all phrases and practices of their parents' generation are akin to thrashing children nightly, whether they need it or not. "Because I said so" is a response that can end an argument once and for all, without a mini seminar of the rights and wrongs of the minutiae of how to sit on a chair, for example.

is this a backlash against the slack child centred methods of the seventies that were supposed to have started the spoilt brat society

or are you suggesting there are newer slacker methods

Message withdrawn

Probably why so many of them struggle in the work place environment too. They don't understand that there is such a thing as having to prove yourself before you can start reaping the rewards. At the extreme end, they are just unemployable.

Surely the biggest disappointment will be when theses chldren relinquish their crown and have dc's of their own...major demotion!!! Suddenly the world revolves around their offspring not them!!

this is a pet hate of mine too.

a kid held dd under the water at swuimming last week and almost drowned her and what did his mom do? ........... gave him a 1 minute time out talking to him the whole time about how 'it wasn't very nice' to do that

no apology, no proper telling off, nothing. and then she whines to anyone who'll listen about what a rough agressive little brat he is and how she thinks it might be his diet! well the lollipops ain't helping love but how about you try giving out to him once in a while?!

I totally agree with Twig and many others on here. DS (16 mo) and I were out the other day with friends when one of them let her DD do something I would never let my DS do and she said something like 'well, you start out with these high ideals but they soon slip' and I thought, well, yours might, but mine haven't and they're not going to!

i find this thread quite interesting as i'm doing an nvq in playwork at the moment. the emphasis is now on 'free play'. because children are so cosseted up and not allowed freedon, we as playworkers are being taught that we have to let the children in our care all the freedoms/risks that they aren't allowed at home. it's quite an eye opener at times.

TBH I have never come across any of these parents who are too scared to discipline their children or too worried it will damage them.

Most of the parents I come across have no problem whatsoever in shouting at, swearing at and hitting their kids and telling them no.

I don't think modern parenting techniques are widely used. So I wouldn't blame a generation of badly behaved kids on them.

Maybe they're not 'modern parenting techniques'; maybe it's just that modern parents can't say 'no'! I've another friend who, a while ago, said that she didn't want to say 'no' to her DD too often... - what can you say to that?

I'm definitely an 'old fashioned parent'

Haven't read thread- but god I agree. I think over-precious parenting is a problem, and is likely to raise a generation- who as you say- expect the world to reevolve aorund them. Boy are they in for a shock.

This seems to be a rather unfocussed rant, people taking "modern parenting methods" to mean whatever methods they personally don't like and agree with.

"People who are not like me are responsible for all that's wrong in the world".

Well, duh.

"I blame working mothers" I don't think anyone really believes that anymore do they?
I'm a working mother and I think that makes me even more conscious of the children when we are at home.
The fact that they usually get what they want at nursery IME means that they are confident asking for what they want at home and they don't expect "No" for an answer. It seems I spend an awful lot of time saying No lately. I am careful not to be afraid to disciplne them.
At the same time I reinforce positive behaviour with hugs and kisses, trips to the supermarket (they really like them ), stories and doing things with them.

I think the working mothers thing was a bit tongue in cheek MrsD.

I hoped it was

Vimfuego...I don't think that's correct. In fact I for one will stand up and say that I have worries about my dd3..she is the centre of the universe in our house...i have two elder dd's from previous relationship, but we have all lived with my dp for 10 years...dp and i tried for dd3 for years and i suffered 4 mcs to have her...we all love her sooooo much. But i do worry as she gets older that we have to be careful not to spoil her..

I don't think this talk of parenting styles is a dig at everyone but me ( or all of us on here)..I just think its a concern we all share and are debating what may or may not cause it, and what may or may not help the situation occurring in our chilren.

"where you do gooder hippy types dont get it is that if i say i will not allow a certain behaviour and act sternly towards my child, you only see - that woman speaks to her children like that all the time."

and where you it's pc gone mad types don't get it is that if I say I would rather label the behaviour not the child, and use positive statements rather than only negative ones, you only see - that woman only ever says nice things to her children and never disciplines them or says no to them or sets boundaries for them

agree anniemac .. wholeheartedly