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Coffee, Cake & Chat (with wine!)

784 replies

MalcolmTuckersOmniShambles · 20/03/2017 09:16

A thread for those of us who were part of (or lurked on!) the Zombie threads.

We like coffee. We like cake. And we definitely like to chat!

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects/2842166-a-whisky-whiskey-for-the-zombie

All are very much welcome! Come along and join in.

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MalcolmTuckersOmniShambles · 11/04/2017 12:17

I think K&P chose them together with Zombie, EDBD. Do please shout if you need any help with the crocheting, and I can highly recommend the Bella Coco tutorials on You Tube as a good place to start.

I'm so fucking pissed off and upset. DD1 has just had the most massive - I don't really know what to call it, temper tantrum just really doesn't even begin to do it justice. I can't even remember how it started now, she's been in a bad mood ('on the brink' as we call it in our house) for a few days now and this morning, it just all spilled over. She's always had issues with her temper and I've tried to help her through it as much as I can, but when she gets really angry, there is just no getting through to her, the only way to deal with it is to ride it out until the anger gives way to tears, when you can then start to reason with her again.

Anyway, she came downstairs in a bad mood, I think maybe she was rude to me and so I told her to go away and come back in 10 minutes and it all escalated from there. She's slapped me, kicked me, punched me. I had to put her down on the floor and kneel over her to try and restrain her from hurting herself. I was trying to tell her that I loved her and just wanted her to calm down, she was screaming that I was a fat lump and she couldn't breathe. My weight wasn't on her, it was all held by my knees on purpose, because I AM heavy and I don't want to hurt her by accident. Every time I let go, she slapped my arm. She threw DD2's Breakfast on the floor and then in the sink when I picked it up (it was a croissant). I did then throw it back at her, I was just so cross. It was a pretty good hit, even if I do say so myself, but I shouldn't have done it.

Then, when I was on the stairs with her, she called me a fat bitch and slapped me round the face. And I slapped her back. All that time when I'd been calm, kept my voice level, didn't swear and I fucking lost it right at the end. I'm so ashamed of myself.

DD2 was hysterical, crying because she could see DD1 hurting me and the babies were crying because it was noisy and scary. DS1 was looking after them, he is more than capable of restraining DD2 but I particularly didn't want him to because that's not fair on either of them.

I just feel like an absolute bloody failure. And I don't know what to do, how to handle it. She threatens the other children, although I think that's purely to get a reaction from me, but her behaviour obviously impacts them.

Thing is, the rest of the time, she's lovely. She's growing into a considerate, sensitive and intelligent young lady. And then every now and again we have this. And I don't know how to stop it.

Bugger.

OP posts:
SassynSane · 11/04/2017 12:36

Malcolm lovely lady do NOT beat yourself up over your actions. DD1 has been utterly vile and sounds like you held it together as long as you possibly could. Where is she now? Am assuming bedroom? You all need to calm down but easier said than done I know. I was popping on here to tell you all about the funniest thread ever in Relationships called What Women Want. It's truely hilarious! If you need to be distracted then read it because it will at least make you smile.

When does DH get home? Is there anyone you can get to come over so you have a bit of adult support? DD1 needs to understand how unacceptable and hurtful her behaviour has been but now isn't the time. Sending hugs lovely. Just about to get off the boat but will check in later xx

MalcolmTuckersOmniShambles · 11/04/2017 13:30

Oh my, Sassy, that thread is a gem! I've only just started reading it, but sometimes you just know it's going to be a good one from the opening lines.

To be honest, he had me at 'ardent feminist or man-hating Guardian reader'.

Bloody brilliant. I'm snorting my way through it.

Thank you so much, I'm am cheered right up!!!

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SassynSane · 11/04/2017 14:00

Glad it helped...called What MEN Want obvs! It's hilarious. Will read more myself later as only popping on quickly to see how you are...glad you've calmed down. Been thinking. Does DD1 have a diary? Am talking lockable, private, only ever her space? Somewhere when she feels like she is about to explode she retreats to, to write all her rage out? You need to never read it as she needs to feel safe to truly vent & it prob won't be the best read, but it might give her an outlet for her anger?

Hope you're ok xx

MalcolmTuckersOmniShambles · 11/04/2017 15:47

I'll suggest that, Sassy, thank you.

I'm okay, was a bit shaky and tearful earlier, but laughing at that thread really helped! 😂

Have spoken to DH, he's obviously very understanding as he's been there, done that! He's going to talk to her when he gets home.

She's in her room, has calmed down now, came down for lunch and then went back up again. All electronics confiscated, I think she's reading.

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SassynSane · 11/04/2017 16:24

Glad the thread made you chuckle! It could be worse. You could be married to Peter ShockGrin

Tough being a teenager but no excuse for being violent to you or anyone else in the household. Glad she's calmed down now. For what it's worth I think from the sounds of it you handled it as best as you could without any additional adult support if it was DD she'd also be up in her room standing up as she wouldn't be able to sit down for a week! Hope happiness is restored chez Malcolm v soon Smile

Just on boat back from Poole. Been lovely day. DD got new toy cat (cat obsessed) & new sunhat. I have new rather snazzy pair of flipflops/sandals. Happy days 😊

SassynSane · 11/04/2017 20:46

Phew...that thread in Relationships just keeps on giving! I managed to read most of the User posts before they were deleted. Honestly, I have never laughed so much!

Anyhoo...

How's things now Malcolm? You ok? Hope DH is home and helping you to get DD1 to calm down. Thinking of you!

EDBD How was the Hop?

New Car Share on in a bit. Can't wait. First series was hilarious Smile

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 11/04/2017 21:02

Oh Malcolm, big hug, hope everyone's OK now. DM came here and we went together, had chicken bakes, New York hotdogs and Tottenham cake for lunch, went to the museum, DS2 was given a sheet to tick off and draw pictures of some of the bunnies he found, he found all the bunnies and was given a Malteaster bunny at the end, went to Sainsbury's, back home, had Spanish meatballs with patatas bravas for supper, DS2 was in bed by 6.30, I was in bed by 8.05! Grin

SassynSane · 11/04/2017 21:41

Sounds like a fun day EDBD, love patatas bravas! Hope you sleep ok tonight.

God Car Share was hilarious, love Peter Kay, I literally slapped my own thigh and clapped my hands whilst giggling out loud

MalcolmTuckersOmniShambles · 11/04/2017 23:11

You guys are fab, thank you! 😗

Glad you both had lovely days - they both sound fun!

I'm okay, a bit emotionally drained but hoping to get to sleep in a bit. Had lots of cuddles from DD2, who is such a sensitive little soul, she was really worried about me.

And DS2 learnt how to climb up onto the sofa!!! 😫😱😠😤

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SassynSane · 12/04/2017 04:44

Arghhhhh....can't sleep!!!! Awww glad your other DC provided a bit of a distraction Malcolm...ooh sofa mountaineering...one small step for DS2, one big headache for mummy Grin. Hope today is a better day. Teenage hormones are vile! I know it's not much comfort now but one day if she becomes a mum, she will understand everything and she will be truly sorry. Might have the odd decade to get through first... eek ...but she'll get there Smile

EDBD you up with me yet? LOL! Urgh...will try and get some more sleep or today is gonna be tough. Being a single mum is hard enough, on zero sleep it can get almost impossible Confused

Right...night...hopefully x

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 12/04/2017 05:31

Morning! I woke up at 4.20, DS2 woke up at 4.50, having chocolate pancakes, watching Power Rangers. ChocolateHmm

I hope you're sound asleep Sassy

Malcolm try getting your DD evening primrose oil and vitamin B12. It helped a lot with my teenage hormones.

SassynSane · 12/04/2017 05:56

EDBD it was 4.20am for me too Confused. Nope, not slept since. Might get up and go look at the view for a bit! Loving the chocolate pancakes. Power Rangers? Meh...not so much, LOL Grin

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 12/04/2017 06:06

Sassy BrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrew

SassynSane · 12/04/2017 06:20

Drinking lots of Brew & watching the sun come up!

Coffee, Cake & Chat (with wine!)
MalcolmTuckersOmniShambles · 12/04/2017 07:24

Oooh, Sassy, look at that view! Although it's small consolation for waking up so early, I'm sure!

Thanks for the suggestion re Evening Primrose oil etc, EDBD, I'll give that a go.

I think the thing that upsets me most about DD1 is that she very much reminds me of myself at that age (although I wasn't so violent!). I struggled with my temper and had some horrendous arguments with my long-suffering parents. I just didn't want the same for her, it's a scary thing when you're so out of control. However, once I left home at 18, I really, really appreciated my parents and our relationship improved no end.

So, only 5 years to go!!! 😂

Hope you both have a lovely day, lots of BrewBrewBrewBrew for you both!

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SassynSane · 12/04/2017 07:47

View is lush Malcolm & watching the sun rise over the sea is very life affirming...something I will try to remember this afternoon when am knackered with a headache Grin. Here's another pic as sun burst over the horizon.

If you haven't already, tell her that Malcolm. Make her understand how much you really do understand.

Ditto. Here's to a good day Smile

Coffee, Cake & Chat (with wine!)
EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 12/04/2017 13:00

Just had gammon hock in cider sauce with mustard mash for lunch, waiting for DH to come home, going to Sainsbury's, then park until suppertime, DS2 will help me make pork steaks with leek champ and minty peas, he won't have any mint! Grin

SassynSane · 12/04/2017 18:17

Fish n chip supper on the beach here, some of which was shared with a friendly seagull! Now sat on the decking in the sunshine with a cup of tea and my lovely view. To say I have been up since 4.20pm & didn't go to bed until gone 11pm am feeling ok Smile

Malcolm hope things settling down a bit today?

SassynSane · 12/04/2017 18:18

*4.20am....ok...might be a little tired, LOL.

SassynSane · 12/04/2017 19:53

OMG Peter is BACK!!!!

What Men Want (A bit more about...) | Mumsnet Discussion www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2901989-What-Men-Want-A-bit-more-about

😂😂😂

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 12/04/2017 20:49

DS2 was in bed by 6, I was in bed by 8. I'm loving the goats for council tenants thread at the moment! Grin

MalcolmTuckersOmniShambles · 12/04/2017 21:36

Peter's second thread got deleted before I could read it! 😩 Oh well.

EDBD - goat thread sounds intriguing, I will go and investigate!

Sassy - cheeky bloody seagull! I hope you told it what for!!!

🦅🎣🍟🖕🏻

Things much calmer here today, I even got an unsolicited apology. However I have felt poorly all day, dodgy tum and feeling sick, so I've taken myself off to bed.

Let's hope we all have a good night's sleep!

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SassynSane · 12/04/2017 21:43

Nope was doing my Dr Doolittle bit again Malcolm & virtually hand feeding it 😂 Glad you got an apology. Wondering if your sickness is stress related? Hope you feel better soon!

Yes here's to a proper night's sleep for us all. As lovely as the sunrise was, I'm hoping to sleep through it tomorrow 😂

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 13/04/2017 05:48

Morning! I woke up at 4.10, DS2 woke up at 4.50, had chocolate pancakes, watching Power Rangers. Hmm

Malcolm the goat thread is very funny! I've been told that if EDLad moves in I could claim 2 goats or 2 flatscreen TVs! Grin

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