would you let your 9 year old daughter go to the house of a known prostitute

[GrindelwaldBeckons]

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons and changed some of the details to make it less identifiable)
DD has a friend whose single mother is a prostitute.She has been invited to a party at this friends house.
I am very naive about all this sort of thing , but the mother dresses normally and lives in a rented cottage in a nearby small sleepy village from where she plies her trade, I assume (hope!) only when the child is staying with their dad or at school.She keeps herself to herself and doesn't cause any trouble in the village as far as I know
Her Dc is a sweet child with serious health issues who DD is fond of, and the mother has clearly been to a lot of trouble planning the party.
DH says that DD should not have anything to do with the woman or her child.
I feel a bit sorry for the child, but my main fear is drugs, and although DD doesn't know what prostitution is now, she will do one day and I fear normalising it in her eyes.

the OP was wringing her hands over the tax implications of the birthday child's mum's alleged sex work earnings.

that was taken out of context.I was talking about legality.I said what she was doing was not illegal , and then for completeness added that 'I doubt she pays tax'

I think it is very easy to say it is cruel when it is not your child involved!!

Lol Lego!

lego

Cruel and judgemental imo, OP.

I don't morally agree with parents who don't work and live on benefits. Should I not let my dc go to parties at their house incase they see that as an acceptable lifestyle?

the normalisation of prostitution

It's just a child's party ffs - I doubt she'll start grooming the attending children for a career as a 'lady of the night'.

yes I probably would! (prevent the DS's from going)

But then I don't let the DC's go to their best friend's house as the mum (who is a teacher BTW) as she seems leaves her kids with anyone and everyone....

I always look at it the other way in these circumstances - I would have the girl round to our house....

BTW I think the fist thing I'd do is make sure of my facts!!! This is all irrelevant if it is revenge from an Ex

Incidentally - some woman at the school thought I was a dog groomer, and owned a dog grooming business. I have no idea where this came from - except I own dogs, had a few dog related things on my FB, and regularly turn up on the school run in wellies and a barbour, to walk the dogs after.

"the normalisation of prostitution"

I just don't see this. What parent talks about their job at a child's party?

Are you saying the children of prostitutes don't deserve normal friendships as that normalises their mother's job?

And how prey, would the "normalisation of prostitution" be conveyed at a child's birthday party?

The only people who think they know that this woman engages in sex work away from her child are you and all the other village perves who have been making an extensive study of online sex ads.

If any of it is real

Ok I only got to page 2, so may have missed something, but I would have mixed feelings about this. My main concern would not be with the other mother as such, but with the clients. IMO men who use prostitutes are scum. Of course she won't have anyone there while the party is going on, but I wouldn't think of her house as a safe place. I might stay at the party myself though. My other concern would be how the friendship with the two little girls would pan out , if you feel so uncomfortable with your dd going to her house. I am staunchly feminist, but I can't imagine there are many on this thread who would be happy for their dds to decide on prostitution as a career. Dangerous, exploitative, hated by neighbours, its not a wonderful road to go down. Mulling it over I would probably take my dd but stay at the party.

real it any is of if.
Can I be banned for saying that ?

I smell BS. Why would some ads have the road name on ffs? !

OP comes across as judgemental, cowardly, narrow minded, lacking in moral fibre, cruel and indifferent to the effect her actions would have on a wholly innocent child, and not too bright. the comments about prostitution read like something out of 'Pearl Clutcher's Weekly', and on balance I wouldn't want any child of mine associating with her family.

I wonder too if OP is one of those posters who prides herself on her liberal credentials and berates other posters not to tar everyone with the same brush, etc., etc.?

I could understand your doubts, OP, because of the idea of clients hanging around (I presume not at the party), and I think prostitution is a very dodgy career that I would be worried about normalising it for any daughter of mine, but I do not think it is a question of morals, IMHO. You say this woman has never harmed anyone, for example. One of the most moral people I know used to do kissograms, in thigh-length boots and with a whip. To me she was moral, because if it had been against her morals she wouldn't have done it, she never did anything that she felt was wrong and she is an extremely kind and good-hearted human being.

I'm so in aware at the liberal attitudes to towards , prostitution, would you really feel as liberal if your own partners were using her services.

Reeky don't be silly. The thread isn't "How do you feel about your OH paying for sex?". At all

Reeky it's not about being liberal towards prostitution. I'm not in the least bit liberal towards it, either to the women or men who offer the services, or to the women or men who buy their services. However, the question wasn't about attitudes to it, rather if you would let your child go to a party at a local child's house in the village (well-mannered, 'sweet' child, in and out of hospital with illness), whose mother may be an escort/prostitute. Since no-one in the village has had the good manners to ask her outright, it may not even be true.

FWIW I have already asked the OP if she would refuse to let her child go to a party at a house where the father used the services of a prostitute, but she didn't answer the question. The reality is that she may already have done exactly that, unwittingly. Certainly whoever started the village rumour has spent some time on the internet searching for escorts/prostitutes, so it is fair to assume that they may have been looking for the services of one for themselves.

sounds to me like your husband has a guilty conscience OP and you feel threatened by this woman in some way.....

.....i bet you have no problem allowing you dc to be influenced by and indoctrinated with religion even though it's infiltrated by paedophiles ....or allowing your dc to watch/listen to music and tv even though that industry is also infiltrated by paedophiles and actually has far more influence over your dc than this mother who just happens to work in one of the world's oldest professions.

i wonder if you both you and your dh hold the same small minded, judgemental and provincial mindset in regards to the millions of women worldwide and especially in the developing countries for whom prostitution is the only means of feeding and clothing their families and themselves?

Regarding the presumption that sex workers are more likely to be drug users - a few posters here need to get their facts straight.

Broadly speaking, sex workers fall into two categories: those who have been coerced into the work, either via human traffickers or drug dealers or both. In this situation, sadly, drugs are used as a controlling tool in order to create an addictive loop which the sex worker can't escape.

The other kind of sex worker has control over their own business and will prioritise their own sexual health and contraception, as without it they wouldn't be able to make a living. Using drugs would make her work far too risky.

OP unless you have seen this woman standing on the corner of the street in your village, wearing incongruously little clothing for the time of year and looking underweight and harrowed, I would suggest that she falls into the second category.

Here - let me cut the elastic on your judgy pants. They are pulled so high, they are cutting off your circulation.

sounds to me like your husband has a guilty conscience OP

since when, in the real world, has not wanting your wee girl to associate with a prostitute been viewed with suspicion.

We have a welfare state so that women, mothers, don't have to become a prostitute.This woman has CHOSEN this career path for herself and so has chosen the knock on affects she and her daughter will suffer because of this.