would you let your 9 year old daughter go to the house of a known prostitute

[GrindelwaldBeckons]

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons and changed some of the details to make it less identifiable)
DD has a friend whose single mother is a prostitute.She has been invited to a party at this friends house.
I am very naive about all this sort of thing , but the mother dresses normally and lives in a rented cottage in a nearby small sleepy village from where she plies her trade, I assume (hope!) only when the child is staying with their dad or at school.She keeps herself to herself and doesn't cause any trouble in the village as far as I know
Her Dc is a sweet child with serious health issues who DD is fond of, and the mother has clearly been to a lot of trouble planning the party.
DH says that DD should not have anything to do with the woman or her child.
I feel a bit sorry for the child, but my main fear is drugs, and although DD doesn't know what prostitution is now, she will do one day and I fear normalising it in her eyes.

You can't say she has low moral standards, when she has different moral standards. You aren't in charge of what is moral. It's her choice, and its nothing to do with you.

I absolutely would let my dd go to a birthday party at her house.

I don't know her really LadyCybil, friends have told me she is quite open with people in the village who ask her.There is no reason why she shouldn't be as she is clearly happy wuuith her choice, not breaking teh law and not hurting anyone.She doesn't have a website as far as I can see.Just listings in directories.I think she used to be a glamour model-the pictures look professional. I wouldn't ask her about it in a million years , I would be too embarrassed. she isn't at the school dates most days the child goes to after school club i think and then sometimes to the father's.I have met her out walking her dogs sometimes in our village and said hello,as people do in villages. I also met her when I took DDr to the previous party before I knew what her work was.

MN makes me laugh sometimes, the absolute hatred for men who use the services of sex workers, but woe betide anyone who judges the women for willingly providing those services in the first place

I sometimes wonder about the attitude too Daryl but we have the basic assertion that mothers will do anything for their kids yet judge someone who does it.
I always step back when it comes to sex workers because I've seen first hand just how desperate some peopls lives are.

I doubt it's anyones first choice of job.

I would even let my child go to a wanker bankers house, a Tory candidate or even a vicars.

She has a nice daughter and seems ok- then all is good, your dh Sounds like a judgemental arse but I would still let them hang out- dds nature might influence his for the better

Whatever you and DH may think of the mother and her profession, please do not lose sight of the fact the party is for her daughter. Unless you think that by association she also has very low moral standards, then let DD go to the party. I doubt very much the girl has chosen her mothers career, she no doubt just wants to have a nice birthday party.

Oh an OP not sure why you felt the need to state it was your DH who thought DD shouldn't go when you clearly have an issue with it yourself

What the mother does or does not do for a job is no reason to visit punishment or social isolation on a child.

Your child has been there before, I assume had an enjoyable time and you were happy with how she had been cared for then.
Why does anything change because you suspect she is a prostitute?

As an aside at the Hoover auto correct.

I met my now best friend over 20 years ago when she was a sex worker. The reasons she got into it were horrendous to be honest.

Through her I met quite a few women who were escorts or worked at massage parlours. I would not have hesitated to send my child to any of their houses for a children's party.

My friend is a great mother with good morals and standards. She is a wonderful woman and the best friend I've ever had. Her dd is a lovely young woman who is doing well at university.

Obviously it's up to you if you let your dd attend the party. I think your reasons are pretty poor to be honest. I hate your language too, hooker and plies her trade, ugh!

but woe betide anyone who judges the women for willingly providing those services in the first place the naivety of that statement blows me away!

So she doesn't have a website but her working name and picture is available on the Internet? Including her address? Whoever found out that information, is her husband one of her clients? Would your dd be able to be friends with that family?

Many, many women get into sex work out of absolute desperation. It's not your place to judge her morals when you don't know her reasons. Ok, so if it's that she just simply enjoys getting her knickers off on a very frequent basis, for a variety of men and getting paid for it, enjoys the risks that come with it, with no coercion, no desperation, then you might be in more of a place to judge. But until you know that for certain you shouldn't assume. And since you have stated you wouldn't ask her about it, then you are unlikely to ever know her reasons (even though you are happy to wildly speculate on an internet forum).

Just out of interest, does your H ban your daughter from socialising with children whose fathers visit prostitutes, or use online sex services, or watch porn?

Or is it just women in those jobs that he has an issue with?

I would let my dd go to this woman's house, but I would hesitate to send her to a house where the dh used prostitutes. This woman is a mother making a living, who am I to judge?

Grindel, there must be other children going to the party, not just yours?
Are the other parents boycotting it for this reason, because that is sad if so. She is a little girl who should have a lovely birthday party regardless of what her mum does for a living.

countess is workfare optional now then? I didn't realise people had a choice in it.

thornrose care to explain why please?

I am talking about women who willingly provide sexual contact in exchange for money, not those who are forced into it. I did clearly state willingly in my post. Or are you all suggesting that women ONLY become sex workers through dire circumstances? If that's the case why do some continue to do it when their circumstances improve?

You can tell which women make a choice to be sex workers because they have many, many genuine options but prefer that and which women find themselves in sex work because circumstances have led them to it or trapped them in it?

That poor kid will need friends, let her go.

No Fenella I can't tell, can you?

I would be wondering what my dh was scared of tbh.

Ffs OP, you sound so judgemental, let dd go to the party I'm sure the child's mum won't be working whilst the party is on.
Maybe some of her clients have dc at the school though.

I would let DD go but I would stay.

If you're absolutely sure that she does sex work from her home then no, I wouldn't let my child go over there.

It wouldn't make me think badly of the mother, but it isn't a chance I'd take.

Absolutely not. Which is why I'm not the one saying I would judge those who do it willingly. Because I have absolutely no way of knowing someone's circumstances to make that determination.