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Original poster

would you let your 9 year old daughter go to the house of a known prostitute

220 replies

GrindelwaldBeckons · 25/02/2015 13:50

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons and changed some of the details to make it less identifiable)
DD has a friend whose single mother is a prostitute.She has been invited to a party at this friends house.
I am very naive about all this sort of thing , but the mother dresses normally and lives in a rented cottage in a nearby small sleepy village from where she plies her trade, I assume (hope!) only when the child is staying with their dad or at school.She keeps herself to herself and doesn't cause any trouble in the village as far as I know
Her Dc is a sweet child with serious health issues who DD is fond of, and the mother has clearly been to a lot of trouble planning the party.
DH says that DD should not have anything to do with the woman or her child.
I feel a bit sorry for the child, but my main fear is drugs, and although DD doesn't know what prostitution is now, she will do one day and I fear normalising it in her eyes.

OP posts:
Seriouslyffs · 25/02/2015 20:54

A brothel is defined as a place where more than one person sells sex- it's a whole 'step up' in terms of illegality and risk.

Quangle · 25/02/2015 21:37

I'm not sure a brothel is a step up in terms of risk. A woman alone in her own house would be less able to manage the random horrors who turn up.

Pokeymont · 25/02/2015 21:50

I'm suprised at how many posters think it's ok for a Mum of a 9 year old to be a prostitute especially one that is identifyable online - I wonder if she cares about her daughter getting teased or bullied about it at school.

countessmarkyabitch · 25/02/2015 21:53

I've never understood the bullying argument, used for so many things. If a child is bullied, the fault is with the bullies, not with the victim.

It's not my business if its ok or not if another mother is a prostitute. Who am I to judge her?

OldLadyKnows · 25/02/2015 23:04

A brothel - or women working together - is safer than working alone. And it's legal to work in one, and it's legal to visit to use the services. It's illegal to run one.

babybarrister · 25/02/2015 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilenceInTheLibrary · 25/02/2015 23:38

As long as it wasn't a well known crack-den with pimps hovering outside -and from the OP it's clearly not- I'd be ok.

I don't believe that prostitutes should be vilified in society. I don't agree with exploitation and prostitution, but I tend to think the crime lies with the men that pay, not the women who they pay (in order to support a dd with poor health).

Prostitution is problematic because of the exploitation, not because of the women who are prostitutes.

NetballHoop · 25/02/2015 23:47

Just to turn this thread around a bit, when DS1 was in Primary school, the father one of the girls in his class was a porn mag printer. I know this as he was quite open about it. He bought porn photos from the US and reprinted them here in cheap mags.

I wouldn't have stopped my DS from visiting them, but I was quite very happy that they never became friends.

In one of the happier results of internet porn, the father went bust as a result of the fall in demand for paid for porn and now runs a dog grooming shop.

Petallic · 26/02/2015 00:01

Bertie Maybe chat was the wrong word but I would rather have a potentially slightly embarrassing conversation than needlessly stop my child from going if it all turned out just to be village gossip.

Original poster
GrindelwaldBeckons · 26/02/2015 04:47

if it were revenge porn it would surely use her real name or show her face properly?

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 26/02/2015 05:29

I hate prostitution, hate the idea that women's bodies are a commodity to be bought and sold.

But I'd let my DD go. The thought of a child having a shitty birthday because of her mum's work is so sad, whether I like that work or not.

nooka · 26/02/2015 06:00

I'd not be at all comfortable about my child being in a house where sex was sold, even if I was confident it wasn't being sold at that precise time. Partly because I am deeply opposed to prostitution but mostly because I would be worried about my child's safety. Prostitution is a highly risky business and by it's very nature attracts some deeply unpleasant men. I would be worried about potential encounters during the party.

I'd have no problems at all with the friendship and be more than happy to invite the child to my house, but I'd not like my child to go to her house. For a party I'd feel a bit conflicted and I'm not sure what I'd want to do, although if my dh was seriously opposed to the idea I don't think I'd push it over his objections. In practice dh is much more liberal than me though.

WanderingTrolley1 · 26/02/2015 06:07

Yanbu.

Lovemylittlebear · 26/02/2015 06:30

It is daunting to let your child go to someone else's house when you don't really know them...especially if their job is something more 'unusual'. If it was my child I would let her go but I'd go along too to help out re fat stacks suggestion. Because of my job I'd be nervous about letting my child go to anyone's house that I didn't know well lol. I don't think any posters should be judgemental as you are just trying to work out what's best for your daughter...even if a stereotype attitude is involved....that's what mums do/ unless they know different. Go and enjoy the party with your daughter and get to know the'person and not her job :)

phoenixrose314 · 26/02/2015 06:46

Yeah I would probably let mine go, at the end of the day she's just trying to earn a living the only way she can, I feel a bit sorry for her TBH.

You should base your decision on how you feel about the mum in question - have you even spoken to her, seen what she is actually like? It's a bit silly to judge someone on their profession alone, it's not ALL they are.

LegoSuperstar · 26/02/2015 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arsenic · 26/02/2015 07:34

if it were revenge porn it would surely use her real name or show her face properly?

I doubt it, if the intent was to make it look like a real escort ad. (It would be revenge advertising not revenge porn per se.)

Do they really usually use real names and un-obscured faces!?

(Not my area of expertise admittedly, but I would have thought blurred faces and rough locations would make sense as industry standard - for safety?- In fact I'm a bit suspicious that you say the road name was given, is that 'normal' for an escort ad, does anyone know?)

Arsenic · 26/02/2015 08:19

I've just had a mooch through the escort and sauna ads in the back of the local paper. Even they don't give addresses.

Very odd detail for a village-dwelling single mum dabbling in sex work to put on an ad. Why obscure your face but publish your road name? Especially as there are only 3 houses in the road Hmm Doesn't she want to keep it quiet?

I assume the photo is a lingerie shot? Something an ex might have?

This all smells funny.

Original poster
GrindelwaldBeckons · 26/02/2015 08:52

I don't know arsenic . I thought it bit odd. in some of the listings she doesn't t even put the village but in others puts the street.

OP posts:
Doggygirl · 26/02/2015 08:55

I would not let her go YANBU

SolomanDaisy · 26/02/2015 09:03

How did someone come across these ads anyway? Unless they're revenge porn and the ex told people about them, then someone looking to use a prostitute found them. I'd be suspicious of whoever started the rumours.

I think the only fair thing to do is talk to the woman about the rumours. It might be uncomfortable for both of you, but it will leave you in a better position to decide whether you're happy for your daughter to go and at least she will know what people are saying.

Arsenic · 26/02/2015 09:07

How did someone come across these ads anyway? Unless they're revenge porn and the ex told people about them, then someone looking to use a prostitute found them. I'd be suspicious of whoever started the rumours.

Yes, this.

NeedABumChange · 26/02/2015 09:08

I would call the number and get a quote or get a male friend to for me. Then you'll know if it's really her and also what type of prostitute she is. It would make a difference to me, £400 an hour then fine dd can go but £20 a shag then no. Not sure why but in my head these are very different types of sex workers. To me the £££ one is likely to have professional clients who book in and the £ one is likely to have druggies and drunkards turning up. Also you can find out if she offers to supply drugs to clients as an extra which I know a lot do.

Arsenic · 26/02/2015 09:10

£400 an hour then fine dd can go but £20 a shag then no.

Hmm
Arsenic · 26/02/2015 09:13

Wgat the hell we're doing discussing types of prostitution in 'Primary Education', I don't know.

We'll have to disinfect the place before we leave Grin

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