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Original poster

would you let your 9 year old daughter go to the house of a known prostitute

220 replies

GrindelwaldBeckons · 25/02/2015 13:50

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons and changed some of the details to make it less identifiable)
DD has a friend whose single mother is a prostitute.She has been invited to a party at this friends house.
I am very naive about all this sort of thing , but the mother dresses normally and lives in a rented cottage in a nearby small sleepy village from where she plies her trade, I assume (hope!) only when the child is staying with their dad or at school.She keeps herself to herself and doesn't cause any trouble in the village as far as I know
Her Dc is a sweet child with serious health issues who DD is fond of, and the mother has clearly been to a lot of trouble planning the party.
DH says that DD should not have anything to do with the woman or her child.
I feel a bit sorry for the child, but my main fear is drugs, and although DD doesn't know what prostitution is now, she will do one day and I fear normalising it in her eyes.

OP posts:
fallingapartfast · 25/02/2015 17:14

My friend's husband works for BAE. I let my kids play with her kids. Far worse than being a sex worker IMO

youmakemydreams · 25/02/2015 17:18

Inwpuld let ds go. It's about the dd's relationship and tbh she may need all the friends she can get as you point out the other kids get hold of the knowledge in a few years at high school.

You know I went to school (primary) with a girl who live with her line parent gay father and there was the same narrow minded thinking by other parents about letting their dc go round Her house. Was so sad and I'm only 36 so not a million years ago. She and he were lovely and thank god my parents were and are lovely people who take people as they find them.

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 25/02/2015 17:20

Yes of course I would

Would your DH stop socialising with any of his friends who ever paid for sex, I wonder?

GlitzAndGigglesx · 25/02/2015 17:22

A sex worker could also mean she works as a family planning type of worker. Unless you're 100% sure she is a prostitute. I'd still let my child go but that was just a thought

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/02/2015 17:22

ironically there's probably not one person here who has a nice "squeaky clean" job.

Most jobs involve compromising on your morals and sometimes quite severely.

I know I have. is there really that much difference between selling your body and basically selling your soul to some company who expects you to do things like talk up products to people who are struggling or addicted to activities or substances. asked people to leave when you know they are homeless or taken money someone you know doesn't have much.

why are some women so threatened by others who sell sex. is it through fear that our husband or partners may have used one in the last or will do in the future? is it because it reminds you that someone can walk out your front door and use one became you haven't felt like sex for a while? its hardly the womans fault if other people can't control themselves. It's more honest than. alot of the things than we have to do. or is fucking someone over from behind a desk ok became we wear a suit to work and not suspender belts.

SilenceInTheLibrary · 25/02/2015 17:23

Yes I would - the dd's a sweet girl, who your dd likes.

I would also echo knickerful's question to your dh.

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 25/02/2015 17:25

And Yy countess re the irony.

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2015 17:30

Also a feminist and would be fine for her to go to a daytime party - no sleepovers though

Arsenic · 25/02/2015 17:38

Why do you have a concern about drugs exactly?

Purely because you think she's a sex worker?

If she is an escort, it is fairly clear she is doing it to support an ill child rather than a heroin habit, isn't it?

although I doubt she is registered for tax.

THIS on the other hand! Shock

But be careful, if you are going to start discriminating on the grounds of tax affairs, you'll probably have to ostracise half the hellish gossip pit village.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 25/02/2015 17:47

Giles exactly. Where I used to work a manager was suspended for sleeping with one of us company slaves (not myself btw!) and no one batted an eyelid but a woman who gets paid for sex is seen as a huge threat. Tbh I'm more concerned for a prostitutes safety than her having sex with different men. My friends mum who used to be a prostitute said she only ever slept with 2 particular men for money

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/02/2015 18:02

Yes that would be my main concern. that statistically something bad will have happened or will happen at some point. and people will judge what happened based on her trade.

She has a sick child. employers aren't sympathetic to lots of time off. I cab well believe this is the easiest way or what she believes is the best and easiest way to support her and her dd as a single mum. trips too and from hospital won't be cheap and our local.hospital charges for parking. child minders or nannies for sick children will not be easy or cheap to come by either.

and of she's happy doing her job well so be it. She's allowed to make choices others don't agree with with no question about the safety of her child or the use of drugs or her capability to throw a party minus the whips chains and condoms.

BMO · 25/02/2015 18:04

I'd be more concerned about trouble turning up than her conducting business during a party. But how can the OP know if she's a drug user or not?

duplodon · 25/02/2015 18:24

No, I wouldn't, sorry. MN is terribly right on about this sort of stuff, but while not all prostitutes are druggies looking for a high, neither are they all sexual libertarians making considered career choices or poor desperate women who have no other choice. Technically it's not criminal, but its associated with criminality and it is just so far out of the realm of where I would want my non-existent daughter to be, I just couldn't say yes. I wouldn't let my kids go to the home of anyone openly trading in any way that's associated with criminality. Hang me.

Leeds2 · 25/02/2015 18:24

I would have no problem with my DD going to this child's party.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/02/2015 18:37

duplon

that pretty much rules out anyone who deals with the public then. or who works for large tax dodging companies. those who employ illegals, vehicle drivers who may or may not break the law whilst driving or say for instance smoking in the company vehicle.

People who work at a prison or with offenders.

I am not a criminal. I do however have dealings with people who are

so by rights you wouldn't want your fictional dd to associate with me?

Arsenic · 25/02/2015 18:39

For all you know OP it's a malicious ad, posted by the ex. Always assuming there is an ad etc etc.

Have you been online looking at sex ads yourself, then?

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/02/2015 18:40

She is also not doing it illegally. There are illegal versions of many jobs that those working in the law abiding version don't deserve to be tarred with the same brush as.

duplodon · 25/02/2015 18:41

Yeah yeah... Of course, all these are directly equivalent to prostitution.

Except, if you were found to work as a prostitute, several professional bodies would have a case to remove your registration (eg you would not be allowed work as a health professional) yet that doesn't apply to any of those categories you mentioned. I wonder why that might be?

GiantGaspingSatanicCyst · 25/02/2015 18:42

BMO how does anyone know who is a drug user or not? There are plenty of naice desk jockey parents in respectable jobs who think it's okay to snort coke or smoke weed or get shitfaced in their own homes, even around their kids. Just like there are plenty of naice parents who use porn or buy sex services.

Arsenic · 25/02/2015 18:42

"Right on" about what Duplo?

Not breaking the friendships of 9 year olds on the basis of long chains of gossip, supposition and hysteria?

Villages can be awful for this sort of chinese whispers.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/02/2015 18:44

Oh so it's just the association of criminality that you have the problem with?

any other dealings on the wrong side of he law and the blind eyes turned to them are ok???

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/02/2015 18:45

associations of criminality with prostitution that should say

MrsCampbellBlack · 25/02/2015 18:48

I just find it hard to believe she'd have her address out there so obviously to be honest.

All seems most odd.

duplodon · 25/02/2015 19:02

Smoking in the company vehicle isn't the same as prostitution, sorry.
Apply a pragmatic truth criterion here: if a prospective employer found out you were offering sexual services online, would they react to the same as if they found out you worked for Amazon, smoked in the company car etc?

My concerns about criminality are not about some righteous interest in the sanctity of the law, nor would I pretend they are. They're about the increased risks associated with these types of lifestyle. I wouldn't want my hypothetical daughter or my actual sons exposed to this kind of thing. I wouldn't want my sons going to the home of someone who was a known punter of prostitutes, either. It's unsavoury and not in line with what we value in life. When they get a bit older, it's different but at nine while you can nip these things in the bud, you nip them in the bud.

And I was a kid who missed out on friendships because my father was a severe alcoholic and people obviously didn't want their kids exposed to that... And it sucked for me.. But that experience would make me even less likely to want to send my child somewhere I wasn't comfortable with them going, for any reason. Life's not fair that way.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 25/02/2015 19:07

I'm sure you know other prostitutes and I'm sure you know other tax evaders.
And I'm sure you know drug users who aren't prostitutes.

I don't get why the sex workers get tarred and their customers don't.