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Original poster

would you let your 9 year old daughter go to the house of a known prostitute

220 replies

GrindelwaldBeckons · 25/02/2015 13:50

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons and changed some of the details to make it less identifiable)
DD has a friend whose single mother is a prostitute.She has been invited to a party at this friends house.
I am very naive about all this sort of thing , but the mother dresses normally and lives in a rented cottage in a nearby small sleepy village from where she plies her trade, I assume (hope!) only when the child is staying with their dad or at school.She keeps herself to herself and doesn't cause any trouble in the village as far as I know
Her Dc is a sweet child with serious health issues who DD is fond of, and the mother has clearly been to a lot of trouble planning the party.
DH says that DD should not have anything to do with the woman or her child.
I feel a bit sorry for the child, but my main fear is drugs, and although DD doesn't know what prostitution is now, she will do one day and I fear normalising it in her eyes.

OP posts:
Franke · 25/02/2015 14:46

I agree with evryone who says that you should let your dd go to the party.

Also guffawing at Giles's "hooker not hoover". Damn you autocorrect Grin

Branleuse · 25/02/2015 14:51

Her being a sex worker would have absolutely ZERO effect on my opinion of the woman, and certainly not of her daughter.

Your husband is an arsehole

titchy · 25/02/2015 14:51

I'm so glad you clarified that she dresses normally. What were you expecting- basque and suspenders on the school run?

Why would your child even know how she earns her money (which as others have said may well not be true anyway) - kids are completely disinterested in what their parents jobs are trust me.

I'm assuming it's her (sick sad) child's party - are you expecting a find the dildo treasure hunt or something? Why on earth wouldn't it be suitable?

Original poster
GrindelwaldBeckons · 25/02/2015 15:07

On the one hand, I can see that it would be difficult to hold down a regular job with a child in and out of hospital so much, but I don't think that really justifies what she does.She obviously has very low moral standards.
Now I am sure DD doesn't understand what she does at 9 years old, but as soon as she starts secondary school I am sure some of the village teens will enlighten her.
I do not want her to grow up to think that this is the sort of thing that we think is okay.I do not want to give out mixed messages!

OP posts:
Alsoflamingo · 25/02/2015 15:07

I think the OP has been unfairly flamed here. I agree with intimefortea and would have MAJOR issues with it. From a feminist perspective I have a huge problem with the concept of women selling their bodies in this way (I am sure many will disagree, but it is just my POV). However, I entirely take the point that she may well be desperate and a good mother in spite of her work choices. Also, it's hardly her poor daughter's fault and so would be a shame for her birthday to be spoilt as a result of her mother's profession. Tough one. On balance I think I'd find some sort of excuse, though.

titchy · 25/02/2015 15:14

You're allowing your child to attend her child's birthday party, not inviting the poor woman to be your best friend.

The relationship is between the two children, it is that which should be judged if anyone is going to be judging. To stop your child being friends with another because of their parental occupation is ridiculous and putting an adult nuance on a child's relationship.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 25/02/2015 15:15

I don't see anything feminist about treating this woman and her daughter like pariahs. I know many radfems who campaign actively against the sex industry (including several survivors of prostitution) and I cannot imagine any of them would support refusing to let your dd go to her house.

(Ironic that it's the radfems who get accused of whorephobia, though....)

MillieH30 · 25/02/2015 15:15

No.

bearleftmonkeyright · 25/02/2015 15:19

It takes two people to have "low moral standards". She may even, be happy Shock

GobblersKnob · 25/02/2015 15:23

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HappyGoLuckyGirl · 25/02/2015 15:25

Grindelwald - do you also teach your DD that it is wrong to discriminate or be prejudice towards others? Your current attitude will be sending out more mixed messages than you letting her go to a party of a child who's mum is an escort.

She isn't doing anything illegal and your opinion of her morals is just that, your opinion. Tbh, I would wind your neck in before your shitty attitude towards certain groups of people rubs off on your poor DD.

GatoradeMeBitch · 25/02/2015 15:25

Ugh, I can see it now. A cluster of mothers at the school gate all smugly hoiking their bosoms and patting each other on the back for boycotting a little girls birthday party.

Who gives a shit if her mother is a prostitute? She's not going to be banging clients on the buffet table. It sounds like that little kid is going to have a lot to deal with thanks to the 'high moralled'. Perhaps she can have a couple of nice parties before you all get around to ostracizing her from secondary school age?

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 25/02/2015 15:25

Damn it - *whose

GiantGaspingSatanicCyst · 25/02/2015 15:30

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FenellaFellorick · 25/02/2015 15:38

I would absolutely let my child go to the birthday party of another child whose parent was, according to local gossip, a sex worker.

Unless you are saying that the children would not be safe?

What makes you think the mother is on drugs?

gamerchick · 25/02/2015 15:50

Must admit I thought wind up. I hope so anyway.

I seriously can imagine the school gates as well. Have you any idea what you sound like OP? Give your head a wobble.

PuppyMonkey · 25/02/2015 15:59

I was already snurking a bit at the word hooker and then even more Grin at hoover.

AgathaF · 25/02/2015 16:00

although I doubt she is registered for tax - evidence for this? If she has gone to the trouble of getting herself a website, then I doubt she would risk not paying tax.

She obviously has very low moral standards - based on what exactly? What do you really know about this woman, or the way she lives her life, or the way she parents her child? You know nothing, you are just quick to judge and condemn.

I smell a wind-up here, but if this is genuine then you should be ashamed of your narrow-minded and judgemental attitudes.

LadyCybilCrawley · 25/02/2015 16:07

If this is not wind up ..... I would just ask the mother .... "Hi I saw a website for xxx under the name ... On your street address and wondered if that was you ... Also wondered if you needed help with the party cause I'd be happy to lend a hand - 9 year olds can be a handful"

Because if she's advertising on he internet she won't care you asking and if she's a victim of revenge porn she will be grateful you've alerted her to it

I doubt anyone would out their address on a website such as what you've described - makes no sense

Justmuddlingalong · 25/02/2015 16:09

Just out of interest, do you have your Daily Mail delivered or do you collect it from the shop yourself?

Original poster
GrindelwaldBeckons · 25/02/2015 16:11

I admit I don't know whether she is registered for tax.

She obviously has very low moral standards - based on what exactly

being a prostitute!!!

I don't know that the woman is on drugs, but I just assumed a lot of prostitutes were, but as i say it is outside my experience.

I am peed off with the troll hunting.I wanted some opinions that is all.I don't want to talk to the other parents about it incase they do not know what her line of work is.
If you think it is a wind up please don't post

OP posts:
NickiFury · 25/02/2015 16:13

Yes I would.

And she's not "plying her trade" (what a grim and judgemental term), she's working.

FenellaFellorick · 25/02/2015 16:15

your child will not be harmed in any way by attending the party and it may mean the world to the party child.

DarylDixonsDarlin · 25/02/2015 16:17

YANBU OP. It isn't a situation I would like to find myself in.

MN makes me laugh sometimes, the absolute hatred for men who use the services of sex workers, but woe betide anyone who judges the women for willingly providing those services in the first place Hmm

However you could stay at the party if you wish, it could turn out to be a load of bollocks and there is only one way to find out.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 25/02/2015 16:17

My best friend in schools mum was a prostitute. My friend told me and her mum confirmed it once we were older. It didn't change my view on them at all and her mum never had men there or went off to meet whilst children were around. She didn't drink or do drugs as far as I'm aware and certainly didn't have ads in her window! I would let my child go she's not gonna come home with needles hanging out her arms fgs