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Original poster

Are you anti-abortion? why?

359 replies

HAPPYFACE · 21/10/2006 08:04

Reading another thread has made me keep thinking this question. I don't understand how anyone can be totally one way.
For me I think it is up to each person and I wouldn't judge anyones decision.
I personally think that whether to keep a child is complex. It changes your life forever when you have children! I don't see how it is beneficial to mother or child if their lives will be miserable.
You only get ONE LIFE and need to make the most of it.

OP posts:
divastrop · 21/10/2006 14:48

i am anti abortion except in the case of rape,if the woman cant take the morning after pill or has and it doesnt work.that is the only time i see it as the womans right to choose,as she didnt chose to be raped.
i was put under pressure to have an abortion when i became pg the first time,by the father and the social worker i had'councelling' with.it was the 60-odd year old consultant at the hospital who told me to forget everybody else and do what i wanted who helped me make up my mind in the end.i didnt go through with it,thankfully.

there is a thread on this site somewhere about smoking in pregnancy,and many people said it was a form of child abuse.there are also many people who have lost babies through m/c,who greive and feel loss like anybody who lost a child would.i dont understand what the difference is between these babies and babies who mothers choose to abort.i dont see the difference between killing a child who is still in your womb and killing a child who has already been born.

if you choose to have sex,you choose to take the risk of getting pregnant.

vitomum · 21/10/2006 14:52

why is 'killing a child' as you put it divastrop justified in the case of rape then? doesn't that make you pro-choice like everyone. It's all about where we choose to draw our line in the sand. I think that is something very personal and something that shuld never be imposed on people.

divastrop · 21/10/2006 15:03

i dont think its justified,personally, but i think its the only time a woman should have a choice.

franca70 · 21/10/2006 15:18

pro choice

Spidermama · 21/10/2006 15:22

Good post divastrop. I am also concerned at so many women and girls being put under pressure to abort by others. They're made to feel silly or wrong to have maternal feelings.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 15:29

I felt pressured by the fact its seen as wrong to have a child young. Every fibre of my body said dont abort, but my head took over and I did what was expected of me. My reason to the councellor was I wanted to go to college, and i was scared of my mum finding out. That was it - they allowed it, encouraged it even.

franca70 · 21/10/2006 15:31

actually having read the whole thread, I think that what summarizes my thoughts on the matter is
Abortion is an absolute political right for every woman.
I thought that late abortions were considered only if the foetus had severe and untreatable medical conditions or if mother's life was at risk or mother's mental problems. at least it's like that in italy, in that case I seem to remeber that the limit is 24 weeks.

divastrop · 21/10/2006 15:37

but what about the rights of the unborn child?do people who think abortion is ok also think its ok to take drugs/drink/smoke etc during pregnancy?

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 15:41

I think unborn babies should have rights... I dont see how suddenly the difference of it being outside the womb means it suddenly has rights. If someone killed a baby in the womb during labour, would they get done for murder? Thats a difference of a few hours/minutes. Harsh...but... if a woman willingly opens her legs, she should know the consequences. Thats my opinion.

Saying that, id never judge a person because they had one etc.

dizzydesperatehousewife · 21/10/2006 15:48

I have decided to post before reading this thread however will read later.
Nothing justifies abortion it is wrong. There is enough protection out there for the majority of unwanted pg to be avoided, there is no need for the unborn child to suffer for the parents convenience.
SN children should never be aborted, adoption is there for parents who feel they can't cope. Who has the right to decide to kill imperfection and where will it stop? If you let DS children be aborted eventually there will be an arguement for those with ginger hair or glasses iykwim (no offense intended).
Children who will die during birth or shortly after should not be aborted but allowed to die naturally and with dignity.
Children conceived through rape should not be aborted because it is not their fault.
There are other options and they should be used. Plently of loving people are not blessed with children and would be happy to adopt these unwanted souls.
ABORTION is MURDER.

geekgrrl · 21/10/2006 15:59

pro-choice but wish the time limit was a bit tighter.
Am also very unhappy with the option of termination up to birth in case of abnormalities - I can appreciate that it has a place in cases of very severe abnormalities (anencephaly etc.) but have heard from far too many people who had a diagnosis of DS very late on (34 weeks+) and were offered a termination - that's just barbaric.

Rhubarb · 21/10/2006 16:00

My first pregnancy was unplanned, totally and utterly. I still would not have aborted.

If it is a question of having to choose between the baby and your partner then for me there is no choice, any creep that puts his partner in that decision should be out on his arse!

It saddens me that an unplanned pregnancy is still seen in such black and white terms, is the term 'adoption' such a taboo then? There are a lot of families out there desperate to adopt children yet there is a shortage of children to adopt.

A woman has the right to do whatever she likes to her body, but this does not mean that it is right.

Overall I do not like abortion and would advise against it, but as someone who has abortion facts on her website, I would never pressurise someone to keep the baby, I would never judge or condemn. That is not my right to do.

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 16:03

Oh FGS this idea that adoption is a panacea - please speak to children who have been adopted and women who were forced / "persuaded" to give their children up for adoption before you put forward that simplistic argument.

And as for having an unwanted child as a punishment for "opening your legs" IE enjoying what men do without consequences, well, what a sophisticated and compassionate view of life.

FGS. There are people who are willing to adopt children up and down the country are there? Oh really? So how comes so many children live in children's homes and how comes adoption breaks down so often?

Rhubarb · 21/10/2006 16:06

I have 2 adopted brothers, 1 adopted niece and 1 adopted nephew plus 2 friends who were adopted - are you saying that I am ignorant about adoption perchance?

Rhubarb · 21/10/2006 16:08

I said I would not come into this thread again! Reading your post Caligula has confirmed that I should not. Do not put words into peoples mouths that they have not said please, it is not nice or conducive to a good debate.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 16:08

Sex = Babies

I dont think anyone doesnt know that.

MwaHAHAMhamai · 21/10/2006 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 16:18

I wasn't addressing my comments to you rhubarb, what was in my mind was the statement which said:

"SN children should never be aborted, adoption is there for parents who feel they can't cope."

I somehow don't think there's a queue of prospective adopters wanting babies with SN. Adoption services find it hard enough to place NT kids who are older than about 4, because people want babies. And the simplistic notion that adoption is a nice easy answer enrages me because there is so much evidence that it isn't a solution, it can be just a different problem. Nothing around this issue is easy and it just irritates me when there's a pretence that it is.

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 16:19

Sex = babies

Not for men it doesn't. And in our culture, not at all when contraception is almost 100% effective. I'd like to know what people think the men's role in all this should be.

lulumama · 21/10/2006 16:23

the problem with this is that grand sweeping statements and generalisations can't possibly cover the emotional nuances that colour each individual scenario.......

abortion is not ideal
adoption is not ideal
having a baby because you feel there is no other option is not ideal

and none of them are easy.IMO...

that is why i am pro choice....and would never seek to dictate who should and who shouldn;t be entitled to have an abortion...

there's a million shades of grey in this debate.....

Rhubarb · 21/10/2006 16:24

Oooh Caligula, you are getting into scary territory now and my advice would be to walk away now!

Like I said before, my sister was 7 months pregnant when offered an abortion because her baby had Downs Syndrome. I also have a brother with severe learning difficulties. If some people had their way both of these people would not be here today.

I think it is society that should be changed and their attitudes to children with special needs. We have so much to learn from these children, they give so much more than they take and they bring out the humanity in people who had previously lost it. It is a damn shame that they are deemed not fit enough to join our society.

As for adoption, I'm pretty sure it is an incredibly hard thing for any mother to do! But again, my 2 brothers, niece and nephew would not be here if their mothers had decided on another way. My brothers are real brothers as far as I am concerned and they are very loved.

pucca · 21/10/2006 16:24

DDHW....Are you saying if you was raped and fell pregnant you would keep the baby? and you would be able to love that baby, and not look at the baby with any bad feeling at all?

mosschops30 · 21/10/2006 16:26

I'm not anti-abortion, even though as a catholic it goes against my personal beliefs. However I would never judge anyone for having one, think it is all dependent on situation and that might be me in that situation one day, who knows.

Its all about walking in someone elses shoes, no-one can ever profess to know what someone else is going through or problems they might have.

Rhubarb · 21/10/2006 16:26

Agree that in a debate such as this there could never be a civil outcome because of the sensitive nature of such an issue and because of peoples own experiences which are very different. I don't think any minds will be changed here.

Live and let live - interpret that as you will!

Rhubarb · 21/10/2006 16:27

pucca - some women have done just that!

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