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Original poster

Are you anti-abortion? why?

359 replies

HAPPYFACE · 21/10/2006 08:04

Reading another thread has made me keep thinking this question. I don't understand how anyone can be totally one way.
For me I think it is up to each person and I wouldn't judge anyones decision.
I personally think that whether to keep a child is complex. It changes your life forever when you have children! I don't see how it is beneficial to mother or child if their lives will be miserable.
You only get ONE LIFE and need to make the most of it.

OP posts:
dizzydesperatehousewife · 21/10/2006 16:42

If abortion isn't murder then what is it???

Difficult decisions and situations I know and I do feel sorry for people who have to live with this but I'm sorry I can't see how chosing to end a life can be called anything else.
I think that is why it upsets people and why so many women regret it. And I do feel for them and wouldn't wish anything bad on anyone who made this decision but I'm saying my view just like everyone else.

mosschops30 · 21/10/2006 16:44

dizzydesphousewife, its amazing how you know exactly how you'd feel if you were raped and how you'd feel towards the child!!!!!
What insight you must have

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 16:45

I feel I murdered my baby. I feel the same as what I would feel if I took a bullett to its head. I cant help how I feel. No one can drum into me that its doesnt feel like that.

MortuaryAnyone · 21/10/2006 16:46

I agree with divastrop and dizzydesperatehousewife. I have never been or known anyone who has been raped, but from this side of the fence, I would have to say that even then, I would not abort.

I have just asked dh how he would feel about that. He doesn't agree with abortion but I think he'd find it difficult.

One way or an other I'd feel dreadful about which ever choice I;d make. And I'd have to life with either guilt or a deep sense of loss. I can only pray that I'm never in the situation.

lulumama · 21/10/2006 16:47

legally - DDHW- a foetus in utero, before it is capable of sustaining independent life, is not considered viable.....and has no rights.....so abortion is not murder as the baby would not have lived outside the womb if born at say 11 weeks gestation..this is however blurred by the advances in caring for and sustaining the lives of very prem babies....

calling it murder does not help anyone.....

alongtimeago · 21/10/2006 16:48

I murdered my child

Thanks for that.

If you've never been in that postition you cannot say what you would do.

I'm pro - choice for the woman.

It's attitudes like these which mean after 20+ years I still feel unable to talk openly about my termination.

HumphreyComfrey · 21/10/2006 16:48

dizzydesperatehousewife, I have just read your latest posts, and note that you are still using the word 'murder'.

I was hoping my previous post would at least have caused you to consider tempering your emotive language around this issue.

Your comment "I stand by my conviction that the choice between LIFE and DEATH is an easy one" seems to show that perhaps you haven't read all the other posts on this thread.

KoshkaTheFIENDLYGhost · 21/10/2006 16:48

im sad to say that i am having one. i know my reasons. i know the risks of having sex but to be honest i dont even remember having sex.
must have done though.

pucca · 21/10/2006 16:49

It is very easy to sit on a fence and say what you would/wouldn't do imo, but when you haven't been in such a situation i don't really feel you can comment to a certain extend, of course you have your opinion but until it happens to you, i don't know how you can say what you would do.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 16:49

Its odd how if someone has the opinion "abortion is murder", they are jumped on. But, if someone says "abortion isnt murder", its all nods and "respect your opinion". In the way people respect others views on abortion not being murder or whatever, I feel people should respect peoples views that they feel it is.

Zippetydoodahzippetyday · 21/10/2006 16:50

When my DS was 6 weeks old I got pregnant, I already had a 2 year old DD and had had a terrible pregnancy. My partner and I decided that for the sake of our children we had already and our relationship an abortion was the best thing for us - it was at that time.

At the time it felt right but that doesn't mean that one day goes by when I don't think what I did and how old that child would be now. I feel sad that I felt unable to cope as now I feel I would have coped but it was a decision I made and I have to live with every day.

mosschops30 · 21/10/2006 16:52

I dont think using the words 'abortion is murder' is helping the situation.

It is fine to have your opinion, whether you agree with it or not is your choice. But accusing someone of murder is a whole other thing.

Its the language thats the problem not the argument

MortuaryAnyone · 21/10/2006 16:53

I suppose imagining what you'd do is based on how well you know yourself and how strongly you feel things. I'm really not trying to be flippent about rape, my views on the punishment for the crime are quite definate. I would hate to become pregnant after being raped and fully understand why woman have to abort. I would have to balance up my feelings towards what I see as a child and my feelings about what someone else did to me.

Not an easy decision to make especially when other childrne and dh/dp are involved.

HumphreyComfrey · 21/10/2006 16:54

Quootie, my concern about using the word 'murder' is not only that I find it offensive, but it completely ignores the fact that each situation is different.

I truly hope that no-one finds them in the same situation that I did.

But I know with all my heart, that if they did I would be there to support them, and would never dream of referring to them as a murderer.

Blanket statements on issues as complex as this are naive and insulting IMO.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 16:55

I dont think anyone was accussing... mearly saying how they felt on the subject? its hard to comment on a sensitive subject without hurting others... I get hurt by people saying "the baby (sorry, foetus) was mass of cells" etc. etc., but, am expected to roll over because being anti is seen as wrong, but pro is being oh so respectful.

HumphreyComfrey · 21/10/2006 16:55

"finds themselves"

ruty · 21/10/2006 16:55

HC I had a lump in my throat reading your story. what you've had to go through is unimaginable.

MwaHAHAMhamai · 21/10/2006 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 16:57

I refer to myself as a murderer. I didnt do it to save the suffering of a baby. I did it for selfishness and selfishness alone. What I did was wrong.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 16:58

Sorry, I find "mass of cells" etc. offensive.

Im really not meaning to sound so harsh here... just well - honest.

mosschops30 · 21/10/2006 16:58

Some of this thread is digusting IMO and any posts using the 'abortion is murder' should be removed. In fact I am going to report them.

I dont know any woman who goes through an abortion and comes out feeling wonderful, all these women grieve no matter what their reasons and no-one should be judged.

and certainly not called a murderer. By all means have a discussion and vent your opinions but that phrase is insulting and unecessary.

HumphreyComfrey · 21/10/2006 17:00

The word 'murder' sounds pretty accusatory to me!

It's hardly on the same level as saying you think someone's hair cut is a bit dodgy is it?

No-one is expecting anyone else to "roll over" - you are perfectly entitled to say whatever you wish.

Just as I am entitled to comment if I find something offensive.

MortuaryAnyone · 21/10/2006 17:01

QuottieSpookyPie you are being very open and honest. Thank you.

HappyMumof2 · 21/10/2006 17:02

Message withdrawn

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:04

I find it offensive too... when directed outwards. I would never think of someone else whod had an abortion as a murderer. I think of myself, and myself alone as one.

When I say a phychotherapist he said id done the right things, was only a bunch of cells etc. and that hurt beyond belief. Its just not the general view, so I guess, its wrong.

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