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Original poster

Are you anti-abortion? why?

359 replies

HAPPYFACE · 21/10/2006 08:04

Reading another thread has made me keep thinking this question. I don't understand how anyone can be totally one way.
For me I think it is up to each person and I wouldn't judge anyones decision.
I personally think that whether to keep a child is complex. It changes your life forever when you have children! I don't see how it is beneficial to mother or child if their lives will be miserable.
You only get ONE LIFE and need to make the most of it.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 21/10/2006 17:04

Quotee, initialy the term mass of cells is totaly accurate. We start off as a mass of cells, which slowly differentiate into a foetus.

The point at which 'life' begins can be(and is) debated. But mass of cells is not an offensive term, but an accurate one.

Calling a termination 'murder', under UK law, is not accurate.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:05

Happy - pin point the exact moment it becomes a baby, and ill fall for that one.

Sorry.

HappyMumof2 · 21/10/2006 17:07

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2 · 21/10/2006 17:08

Message withdrawn

lulumama · 21/10/2006 17:09

i may not agree with quootie...but she is honest & brave..

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:10

Sorry to hear about your m/c's.

I echo that Happy. I feel it is wrong to say to someone they are a murderer. I, myself, am calling myself one. But, I know im one of few, I feel its hurtful aswell when people dont respect others views tha its a baby, not a mass or cells or whatever the text book definition is these days. Its just not seen in the same way though...

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:11

Thanks Lulu - far from brave!

Spidermama · 21/10/2006 17:11

I agree there's a problem with passing it off as a 'mass of cells' and I think this description has been used to influence women, especially young ones, to abort for no good reason but convenience. Later they often regret it and feel terrible.

Quootie I'm really sorry you feel this way.

The 'mass of cells' has the potential, nay liekly hood, of becoming a baby if allowed. It's no ordinary mass of cells.

However some women would maintain that their lives would be ruined if they continued with the pregnancy and of course their happiness has to come into the equation too.

I just think we abort far too easily and convince others to abort too easily. We have a culture of abortions being socially acceptable and I know scores of people, some in my family, who have had them and many who've had more than one.

I don't honestly think you can call it 'murder' or even 'manslaughter' bu Quootie my heart goes out to you.

Tinker · 21/10/2006 17:14

For those who are anti-abortion, what do they think the law should be, exactly? Only if you have been raped/contraception failure? How, exactly, would you police that?

I'm amazed at how glibly some of you seem to say that you would not abort is you had been raped. You can, of course, rationalise now that the child is innocent but I'm sure I would have trouble thinking that if I'd been raped by, for example, my father.

HumphreyComfrey · 21/10/2006 17:14

Just wanted to clarify that my concerns re the use of the term 'murder' were directed towards posts from dizzydesperatehousewife.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:16

Spider - not out loud. People would think im mad if I said "ive murdered a baby". Try as I will, every morning I cant think of what I did as ending a "pregnancy", or anything like "they" describe. In my heart of hearts, its exactly how I said. And the danger is, you dont feel it until afterwards, and then what can you do? Change your mind? Try and correct it?

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:17

I know Humphrey xx

MwaHAHAMhamai · 21/10/2006 17:20

I have asked for my posts to be deleted and am leaving this thread. Feel like shi* tbh

Original poster
HAPPYFACE · 21/10/2006 17:20

It doesn't bother me if people say I'm a murderer I know they are wrong, I sleep peacefully at night.
I totally did the right thing for everyone concerned in my situation.
I stand by the fact you only get one chance at life and should make it happy.

OP posts:
QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:22

Nothing good comes from these threads... made myself an emotional wreck now, and run out of diazepam... but, whole threads cant be deleted and buried, and forgotten about. This "debate" will crop up again and again forever.

HappyMumof2 · 21/10/2006 17:32

Message withdrawn

ruty · 21/10/2006 17:33

MwaHaHa you shouldn't feel like shit. You've been very honest and courageous. People who say abortion is murder are in a tiny minority here, and only one can't see the other side. This thread isn't worth making you feel like shit, really.
I had a miscarriage a few years ago, and still feel like i 'killed' the baby because i was considering an abortion and drank half a bottle of wine one night whilst pregnant. I feel this caused the miscarriage. Women have so many difficult choices to make, we do the best we can.

Spidermama · 21/10/2006 17:39

I've had two miscarriages and I blamed myself, at least partially, both times.

I know that if I'd got pg (as my sister did) in my teens, I too would have been rushed through the abortion clinic without really being given a chance to have my own thoughts on the matter. I'm very lucky it never happened to me because I was foolish and did take risks.

I think this is a useful thread and the discussion needs to be had because people need to realise that abortion can have far reaching and long lasting repercussions.

Many of my friends and family were sold the line that 'it's a meaningless cluster of cells. Go ahead. Everyone's doing it.' and we need, as a society, to have more respect for the process of conception.

I realise the awful suffering of women in the 60s and before when they were cast out from society or left with unplanned babies they couldn't look after. Or those who put their lives at risk by seeking back street abortions or doing it themselves (like my mum). But we have over reacted to this and swung wildly over in the other direction.

Surely there's a middle way.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:42

I think a change is social attitudes, and the exsistance of the benefit system means that the need to abort is outdated.

(by abort, I mean social reasons)

Spidermama · 21/10/2006 17:44

I agree quootie.

divastrop · 21/10/2006 17:45

i wouldnt say abortion is murder-though i feel that term should apply to the late abortions mentioned earlier in this thread which arent performed in this country.
i dont have any place to comment on those who have had an abortion because they found out their baby would not survive outside the womb under any circumstances as i have never been in that situation.
however,pucca,i dont know why u feel it is ok to abort a baby just becase his/her father was abusive?u assume those who are anti-abortion have never been in the same situation as you,but you are wrong.i have been pg twice to a man who used to beat me and who raped me twice.i chose not to kill my babies.it wasnt their fault their father was abusive,so why would they deserve to die?

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 17:45

It depends what you mean by need. In the old days, they argued that you didn't need to abort because you could always go to the workhouse or put your kid in a foundling home.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 17:50

I think it comes back to the point abortion is outdated. This day and age, theres countless organisations to "cater for every need" (sorry if that sounds a bad way of putting it). The reasons some people abort are becoming more...selfish IMO. People may have aborted due to say... complete lack of money say....60 years ago? Now there is a benefit system to ensure that isnt the case, but now aborting due to financial situation would mean - not a big enough house, not a new enough car etc. People are striving more and more for perfection and selfish gains... as someone said, it will be aborting due to wrong hair colour next.

Spidermama · 21/10/2006 17:51

That's what she's saying though calig. Things have changed. No-one's going to workhouses these days as we have social security.

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 17:55

I don't think it's wrong to decide you don't want to live in grinding poverty for the rest of your life, or even for the next five/ ten years.

What I do think, is that there ought to be more support for women who have children so that poverty isn't an automatic result of choosing to have a child which isn't wanted by its father. Then maybe women would have more of a genuine choice.

I'm amazed people think living on benefits is a great idea. They are unbelievably low and stingy and families who live on them suffer all sorts of stress. Not to mention the constant attacks in the Daily Mail along the lines of these feckless women having babies and living off benefits. No stigma anymore? Eh?

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