This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

Didnt report my ex... I always excused him and felt sorry for him. It went on for over two years. I started to go down the police route when I found out my now DH told his dad, who called me a lair and DH didnt stick up for me... I felt like sh!t, so didnt take it further.

The worst thing about mine was that he had walked me home (his parents were friends with mine). He came in for coffee and wouldn't go, infact pretended to fall asleep on sofa. My parents went to bed and all of a sudden he woke up.

I said no loads of times but he just wouldn't listen but felt I couldn't scream for help cause my dad would have killed him! so I just gave in!!

It breaks my heart really thinking about it. It just sounds so pathetic when I'm strong / have been strong in every other part of my life.

I am totally by this thread. It's very, very frightening.

Me - I've never been in any such situation and I thank my lucky stars.

I feel for all of you - it's my worst nightmare.

two very unpleasant experiences in different relationships - borderline date rape but where I do think I could have made it clearer what I meant - not making excuses just acknowledging it could have seemed different to them.
I have been flashed at at least 4 times in different cities, rubbed up against - there's a whole new subject area.
So many men just seem so unaware of what these situations can be like. My DH is a thoroughly modern-minded man with lots of insight into equality issues but he just doesn't grasp that it is not merely amusing or pathetic to be flashed at.
I know 2 friends who have been raped. one reported, one didn't. And another who was masturbated at and the semen shot onto her face.

Perhaps that is true VVVQV that some seek out 'vulnerable sorts'

And I DO worry that "good girls" are "yes girls" and like me, feel that saying 'no' is rude

There was mention a few years back of beer mats that you could drop some of your drink on to see if had any drugs in it but this was obviously not pursued which is a shame. There was an incident in a bar I used to go to a lot where a woman had rohypnol put in her wine (first glass) luckily she had friends with her who saw something was wrong and took her home.

copuntto10, you can get sort of twizzle stick stirrer things that will change colour if your drink one of a mumber of drugs in it

Agree about the saying "no" MP. Especially when you are accused of being a "prick tease", or of "leading them on". Like I said, they "justify" it to themselves and to you...

But this thead demonstrates that you have far more to worry about from friends than strangers

The only person that knows is Dh (and al of you! lol) but it only been recentley i have actually started to go throgh it in my head.
I was totally drunk, it was my ex best friends cousin, she would not belive me even in the morning when i had a smashed up facce and was extreamley sore.

maybe that is the angle to approach with dds, morningpaper
that you CAN say no and he MUST respect it
so depressing,that whole blackmailing thing as well - "I will not go out with you if you don't do it" - and all that.

me - never

also never flashed at, or stalked.

Feeling very very lucky today....

trefusis that is bloody tragic. you do know it wasn't at all your fault, right? It really wasn't!

Yes VVVQV

All of them said it was my fault/led them on

And I was a terribly square, naive teenager in Laura Ashley and I believed it

It's another reason that I hate the sexy clothes you can buy for children - if I thought I was guilty, how would potential perpetrators make children feel if they are wearing outfits like that? It worries me

This is something thats scares me about MN a little I suppose....there are predators out there, who can see a poster's vulnerability, or see someone in a vulnerable situation, and can turn it to their advantage. I dont think I'm being paranoid about it either....

This makes such depressing reading. I was sexually assaulted as a child (I think I was about 8) at our next door neighbour's Hallowe'en party - by an teenage boy. I remember going home and sitting on our front doorstep (my parents were at the party), weeping - feeling I had done something wrong and 'dirty' but not really understanding what. I never told a soul.

That has been bought up by a male poster b4 as you don't even have to be logged on to look at the boards - not that it would stop someone from logging on obviously.

trefusis, thats bloody awful, you were just an innocent little girl.

i know what you mean VVVQ you just have no idea the extreams people will go to

trefusis i do hope you know it was not your fault none of this is anyones fault, it the sick bastards out there who need shooting

I think it's harder to exploit vulnerability online, surely?

Predators irl definately can "smell" vulnerability. I was quite unhappy as a teenager, hence lots of problems. When I was at uni, I would be hassle-free, except for when I was going back home - I would be very unhappy on my way to and from the train station, and would always end up with a few unsavoury characters hassling me en route ...

Glad to see that there are at least some bars/clubs out there trying to do their bit to protect woman on an evening out.

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