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Original poster

Do you think you're fat?

421 replies

ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 08/08/2013 22:22

I do. And I'm wrong. I know rationally I am not fat. I am 5'5 weigh 9st7ish, dress size 8-10, body fat 18-22%, you can see my ribs from behind and my abs in front....so why oh why do I constantly feel crap about myself?

I do eat more crap than I probably should do (chocolate 5 times a week Sad ) and I do carry weight up top (32FF boobs)...but I am not fat. So why do I feel like I am? Constantly worry that I am. People I don't know well (new work colleagues, random people at parties) make offhand comments 'healthy breakfast again eh?' this morning as I ate a croissant and fruit at my desk and it makes me feel awful.

Are other people like this? Why????

Sorry to anyone this offends...I feel for people with weight issues, I really do, but been thinking about this today (sparked by comment this morning) and wondering if I am the only one?

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 09/08/2013 10:12

I'm 5'3"; 9st9; size 10-12; 34DD boobs.

I am carrying a bit more weight than would be ideal for my frame. But I'm curvy and feminine looking. I feel lovely and soft.

I do think I'm a bit fat, but I'm not too bothered tbh.

KnittedWaffle · 09/08/2013 10:13

Strangely I don't think I'm fat now. I'm a size 10-12, 5'9 and have accepted my body.
I have 32hh boobs and think that if you don't wear the right bra etc (thanks S&B bra threads) you can look heavier.

Shame I didn't feel like this when I was younger and a tiny size 6 but thought I was fat. Sad

Nagoo · 09/08/2013 10:14

From the description you give I imagine that your figure looks incredible!

I don't think I'm fat. But I can still see room for improvement with toning/ fitness (which would ultimately require me to have less fat if I want advert abs, eh?) so yes, I completely agree that it is a societal pressure to look the 'perfect' probably photoshopped way.

And, TBH the nearer you are to that 'goal' the more you'd quite possibly think that you were only 'that little bit' away from achieving it. If only you could try a bit harder. I don't think the pressure lessens because you broadly fit what people would say is slim.

*I'm wincing a bit like I have typed a terrible thing... I don't think I have, I'm just desperate not to have offended anyone... Blush

TeWiSavesTheDay · 09/08/2013 10:17

No I don't.

It is social though - my sister really struggles with body confidence. My mum used to make a big deal about how she was fat Sad (she's not BTW - maybe a little overweight at times but that's it) with mum and me it was that I am lazy/selfish and I do dwell on that a lot.

MarmaladeTwatkins · 09/08/2013 10:22

I am a fucking chubby checker.

I'm not happy about it but my love for crisps and cheese outweighs my desire to look good in skinny jeans.

TallyHo1980 · 09/08/2013 10:28

I don't think I'm fat, because I'm not. I'm size 8, 5foot7 tall and weight 9 stone.

However, my bum is getting a bit fat and wobbly and I am starting to get cellulite so I am not 100% happy and an trying to eat a bit better (I love crap food!) and exercise more. On the whole, I would never say I am fat though.

wearingpurple · 09/08/2013 10:31

I accept that I'm fat - size 14-16, 5'4", went up from a size 12 when I had the dds and never really lost it, though it fluctuates now and again.

However, before I had the dds, I was 8st 12lb at my lightest and was obsessed with my flabby upper arms, big belly etc.

So, while I'm bigger now, I'm not as obsessed with it as I was. Feel Sad that I never allowed myself to enjoy my healthy weight.

CaptainSweatPants · 09/08/2013 10:31

I'm 5ft 6 , weigh 11st 3lbs

My stomach arms & thighs are definitely fat!

I'd be happy being 10 stone 7 I think

Snatchoo · 09/08/2013 10:32

Yes, I think I'm fat.

But I am. I still get a bit of a shock at those extra chins when I look in the mirror but tbh things other than losing weight are my priority.

I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin now as a fat person than I was as a slim person, but that is due to age and having a loving partner.

minxthemanx · 09/08/2013 10:48

Yes think I'm fat. Know it whenever I'm in changing rooms trying on clothes. Look horrid. I'm probably a 'big' girl rather than hugely fat but would still love to look nice in clothes. Huge boobs, 36E, big tummy with nice rolls that have never gone since having the DC, big bum. Skinny legs and arms. 5 foot 5, weigh just over 10 stone. Size 16 bust, 14 bottoms. Eat fairly healthily but bit too fond of cake, exercise couple of times a week but cannot fit any more in to very busy life. Most days am aware of weight/food. Sad really. Am very healthy so that should be the main thing? Why do we obsess with it?

MumblingMummy · 09/08/2013 10:50

Yes, I know I am fat. I am 5'6.5" and 11 stone with broad shoulders, 32G boobs and a roll when I sit down. I feel like the hulk and am at the top of my healthy BMI. I feel much better a stone lighter but still feel 'big' IYSWIM even though I have a small bum and long thin legs. I dream of having a breast reduction to a 32C and a spot of lipo on my roll. I honestly think that most women feel fat these days because skinny is the gold standard.

milk · 09/08/2013 10:51

I'm not fat, but since having kids I have these strange lumps of fat that don't seem to shift no matter how much exercise I do/dieting :(

JugglingFromHereToThere · 09/08/2013 10:52

I think our society is very obsessed with both appearance and weight.
There's so many more interesting things to think about.
Am glad that dd(14) said the same the other night.

I have put on a little weight over the last year or so due to being less active with work - I would like to lose a little, or at least not gain more !
But most importantly I want to keep that in perspective.

PiddlingWeather · 09/08/2013 10:58

I'm 5'6, about 10 st 3 and quite sturdily built- broad shoulders etc. I feel huge and always have done, even when I was a stone and a half lighter. I have always felt like a massive, galumphing thing.

Rationally I know it's stupid, that I'm OK and that it doesn't matter, but I was bullied terribly as a child, revolving around my looks etc, and realistically I don't think I will ever feel like I have an OK body. Until a few years ago, I used to think that I was ugly- like, really truly vilely ugly. It took a long time until I realised that actually I was normal looking, if not pretty.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 09/08/2013 11:03

And when I hear about size 8 I think of something for my naturally slim 14 year old dd - not something I'd aspire to wear myself after the birth of two gorgeous DC, and now in my forties !

To me people should be much more relaxed about sizes, and 12, 14, 16 etc ! all perfectly good sizes for an adult woman to look good in Smile

MrsMarigold · 09/08/2013 11:04

How toned are you? - being untoned make me feel flabby.

Mumbledore · 09/08/2013 11:04

Flab is my problem. I say I'm fat but I think essentially I'm not, I just look like I've melted! I'm really trying to change how I think about myself and exercise more as I wouldn't mind the stone I've gained after DD if I looked more toned.

Beastofburden · 09/08/2013 11:09

OP seems to have vanished for a bit which is a shame. It's funny how being called fat, or feeling fat, can get under our guard, even if our rational self tells us it is nonsense. Apart from some very welladjusted people posting here, most of us would recognise this feeling.

I am a bit fat. I am trying to focus on how fit I am- which is not very, but getting better- rather than how fat. However, I do know that exercise can only do so much to offset chocolate :(

JambalayaCodfishPie · 09/08/2013 11:10

My statistics say I'm not fat. I'm 5ft9, BMI 23, size 10 top, 12 bottom.

My head says I am.
But my head is also (slowly) coming to terms with the fact that I probably have an eating disorder, and should really see my GP.

fishandlilacs · 09/08/2013 11:15

it's called body dysmorphia

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 09/08/2013 11:25

I know I'm too heavy, I don't feel 'fat' anymore though. BMI is 23, I'm half way through losing baby weight and getting a bit complacent now I can fit into normal clothes. Need to get back on the wagon l.

pootlebug · 09/08/2013 11:31

I am the same height, clothes size and weight as you. I wear a 28 or 30 bra back though.

I'm not happy with my weight. I know my BMI is fine etc but I also know I felt I looked much better half a stone lighter, and most of my clothes don't fit properly now that I've crept up half a stone in weight.

I do think people think 'well I'm clothes size X, so I can't be fat' - I think it is stupid I'm an 8-10 at my weight and shape. 20 years ago I'm sure it would have been a 12-14. Vanity sizing has got pretty silly.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 09/08/2013 11:33

I never think I'm fat. I am not thin obssessed but I have very good self control and am very active. I remember talking to a colleague and I was shocked she thinks going to the gym 3 times a week is a lot. I thought that's on the low side of a gym goer. I used to do 5 days with some double fitness classes in my university days. I'm doing 3 to 4 days now and that's how the conversation come up. I told her I don't think walking for an hour is exercise.

My only fat moment in my life was when I had a MC at 12 weeks a few months back and I have to lose the first trimester weight without the help of bf.

And why do someone find a size 8 offensive? Surely it's a height thing too? I'm only 160cm (5ft3) so what size should I be? I have a BMI of 20/21, and that puts me at size 8/10. There is no way that's called underweight.

IrnBruTheNoo · 09/08/2013 11:33

Size 12. 11st 3lbs. Not fat. Healthy weight for my height and I look well, so no, definitely not fat.

Mabelface · 09/08/2013 11:37

I am fat and am under no illusions here. I'm 5'6" and weigh 12st10lbs. I have enoooooooooormous boobs and a rather large belly. My legs are a bit jellified and I have a moon face. I also have that rather attractive mother's apron thing going. I feel heavy.

However...

If I lose weight, I shall be doing it for me, and no one else. It will be for health reasons rather than any pressure from anyone or any pictures in the media. I'll go to a healthy weight, which will probably be a stone more than my prepregnancy weight, as I am a firm believer that when you get to a certain age, you need a little bit of padding.