Do you think you're fat?

[ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight]

I do. And I'm wrong. I know rationally I am not fat. I am 5'5 weigh 9st7ish, dress size 8-10, body fat 18-22%, you can see my ribs from behind and my abs in front....so why oh why do I constantly feel crap about myself?

I do eat more crap than I probably should do (chocolate 5 times a week ) and I do carry weight up top (32FF boobs)...but I am not fat. So why do I feel like I am? Constantly worry that I am. People I don't know well (new work colleagues, random people at parties) make offhand comments 'healthy breakfast again eh?' this morning as I ate a croissant and fruit at my desk and it makes me feel awful.

Are other people like this? Why????

Sorry to anyone this offends...I feel for people with weight issues, I really do, but been thinking about this today (sparked by comment this morning) and wondering if I am the only one?

Proust made his carreer out of writing..he wrote vast amounts, mostly not about food, and he was a weirdo reclusive sort of chappie!

...he was also an uber hypochondriac
not exactly a good advert for a life enriched by food

I do actually agree, ThreeTomatoes. My teary post upthread was v much the result of this type of discussion. I am not, mainly, that bonkers any more and I certainly do not think it is healthy.

I know he made his career out of writing, mercury, but the legacy he left to European literature definitely centres around his sensory description of tasting the Madeleine in A la recherche du temps perdu. Reams of academic articles have been written on it. And I'm a total hypochondriac and I'd definitely say my life has been enriched by food!

Hope you're OK, mother, I agree with you - this type of discussion has made me feel quite upset and brought back some painful memories these past few days.

I wrote a feature ages ago about 'the size you are on your head' and ways to shift that (unfortunately I had to interview some fairly useless shrinks for it). Must revisit it..

In the meantime I'm on holiday in France and self-medicating with brioche and cider. And, indeed, Madeleines

I haven't stopped thinking about this thread. I was feeling OK with myself- as I said before I'm 5'6, over 10 stone, and I only have a tummy roll when I sit down. I thought that was fine but now I'm wondering whether I am horribly fat and chubby and unhealthy. I went hiking the other day, my friend took some photos of me and now I can barely look at them.

and I'm size 12

Yep, threads like this have that effect, I find...

I am a little overweight (BMI 26). I feel good about myself - I'm strong and fit and healthy. I can run 10k no problem and I do pilates too. I think I'd feel even better if I lost a stone.

That's normal, right?

I am definitely fat! Although people think I'm mad for saying that, but I rarely put on weight round my chin/face so look slimmer than I am IYSWIM.

I am 5'4"ish, a size 16 on top and a 14 waist. My stomach is my worst feature, the rest of me is ok but I still hate the way I look. I don't lose weight easily and I have to practically starve myself to lose a few pounds.

I have accepted that I will always hate my body, I detested it before my two DCs and after 2 c-sections it's pretty much ruined. I don't really know any women who are happy with their bodies which is pretty depressing!

Having re-read the thread (god it was depressing) I would just like to agree that good food is definitely life-enhancing. A nice meal makes one glad to be alive. Which is on balance an emotion I would rather feel than the self-loathing inculcated into me since childhood.

And yeah yeah yeah I know the health implications of stuffing yourself nonstop etc etc etc so please don't lecture me.

Actually this thread is quite making me want to stuff myself just for the hell of it.

I think it shows how deeply ingrained body issues are.

Rationally I know that while I am not stick thin I am not overweight per se.
Rationally I know that I eat well and exercise well- i love being outside walking/cycling/running etc
I am a reasonably confident person
I have an OH who thinks I'm gorgeous and tells me so constantly

Yet half an hour of thinking about my size and figure more intently than usual, and I'm the most insecure piece of crap you can imagine.

I'm getting married in a few days time and am now worrying that people will look at me and think I am chubby

I used to work (on a women's mag - so shoot me) with a woman who was the same age as me - so quite a lot older than a lot of our colleagues - and, yes, quite fat. And she radiated self-dislike, shrouding herself in shapeless baggy faded black garments and the same shapeless denim jacket every day.

I sing in a choir with a woman who is the same age and size..and looks terrific. She isn't particularly gorgeous - she's not one of those plus sized goddesses - but she has style. She wears stretchy fitted dresses - yes, they outline her tummy: they also display magnificent cleavage - and fabulous jewellery. And I think she enjoys life a hell of a lot more than my miserable ex-colleague. They were, and remain, a salutory comparison.

I know that a lot of people are saying that they feel depressed by this thread, but actually, I think there is a positive message to be found in here, about the solution to this problem.

It's that feeling fat is the normal state for many of us, irrespective of our actual size. There are people on here of every size, complaining about their bodies. And what that tells me, is that it isn't our bodies that are the problem. It's how we feel about them. Losing that stone, half a stone, etc isn't going to miraculously make us feel any better. Changing our attitudes towards ourselves is what is needed. And that is achievable!

So fair enough, if you lose the weight,feel healthier, great. But you need to change how you think about your body first, or it's pointless.

For those of us with daughters, sisters, friends, how would you feel listening to a woman you love being so cruel and destructive towards herself? Why can't we extend the compassion and acceptance that we feel towards others to ourselves?

So I'm a bit overweight. So fucking what. I have a good life, I enjoy it, I have so much luck in other ways. My body has done incredible things. So I'm cutting myself some slack.

I weigh 21 stones 11 pounds and take a dress size 26, but it is how you feel inside that counts.

I think I'm fat. But then what am I comparing myself to, the unrealistic size zero models in the Next catalogue? I'm about 5"6 & around 10 and a half stone.I and I fit into a size 12- 14 clothes. I absolutely hate photos of myself. I am the most unphotogenic person on the planet.

But, I don't think its size thats dictates how attractive we are. And I think heavier people can sometimes appear slimmer than smaller than skinner people, iykwim? For example my sil weighs more than me, we're roughly the same height, but on photos, she appears slimmer than me & she's 1000% more photogenic. My best friend is a big girl and she's absolutely stunning.

Not at the moment, no.

As I said on the other thread, I'm 5'7" and just shy of 9st. I'm a rational person and know that I'm not big/fat/whatever your term of choice is, my BMI hovers between 19-20. However, like a few others on here I am quite fine boned (small wrists and ankles etc) and so when I'm at the upper end of my BMI allowance I do look 'fat'. I don't carry weight well, even when technically I am still within a 'healthy' range.

I do look a bit flabby at the mo though. I'm an 8-10 and need to crack on with the exercise again. It is possible to be slender and wobbly at the same time and it's a bugger.