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Original poster

Do you think you're fat?

421 replies

ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 08/08/2013 22:22

I do. And I'm wrong. I know rationally I am not fat. I am 5'5 weigh 9st7ish, dress size 8-10, body fat 18-22%, you can see my ribs from behind and my abs in front....so why oh why do I constantly feel crap about myself?

I do eat more crap than I probably should do (chocolate 5 times a week Sad ) and I do carry weight up top (32FF boobs)...but I am not fat. So why do I feel like I am? Constantly worry that I am. People I don't know well (new work colleagues, random people at parties) make offhand comments 'healthy breakfast again eh?' this morning as I ate a croissant and fruit at my desk and it makes me feel awful.

Are other people like this? Why????

Sorry to anyone this offends...I feel for people with weight issues, I really do, but been thinking about this today (sparked by comment this morning) and wondering if I am the only one?

OP posts:
ouryve · 08/08/2013 23:24

For comparison

32FF
28H

BettyBottersBetterButter · 08/08/2013 23:25

Ditto MrsMP & if you're anything like me most people will assume you're ok with your size as I rarely mention it for fear of drawing attention to the issue. Even a week feeling hideously self-conscious on the beach with my (skinny) family hasn't kicked my butt into dieting gear but I'm determine not to see in 40 this size so have got 18months to sort myself out.

ouryve · 08/08/2013 23:26

Yeah, but that's a 40 inch band, PomBear. Not the 40 feet around the entire boobage that my typo implied :o

chattychattyboomba · 08/08/2013 23:26

Not fat but I hate my post body baby. Hate it. Hate my empty sack stretch marked banana shaped boobs. Hate my flabby ballooning tummy that looks 5 months pregnant after a meal complete with navel hernia. My thighs that touch. My arse that looks like cottage cheese. My disgusting vagina that feels like it's falling out. Even my arse muscles got so disconnected the cheeks aren't where they used to be. Bleugh!!!!
5'11, size 10, age 27, 68kg.

EBearhug · 08/08/2013 23:26

I am fat, size 22, but I see me in the mirror and I notice the curves and stuff, rather than the fat, IYSWIM. I sometimes catch my side-on reflection at work (lots and lots of glass walls), and I'm always surprised by just how round I am, because I'm not in my head, although I've always been overweight, even when I was a lot, lot fitter. I think other people notice it more if you draw attention to it a lot. Or maybe I'm just oblivious. And I'm sort of fond of my stretchmarks (which are just from weight, not childbearing), which look like a tiger's clawed my stomach.

I don't have chubby hands though, which is probably proof that exercise works, as my hands do do hours of typing every day. Ahem.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 08/08/2013 23:28

It is true that much is made of being slim and "watching weight" and suchlike now, the media are awful for it - all those pictures of celebs with "bikini body" or "lost her baby weight in a month" type headlines all conspire to make women feel that being thin is the be all and end all of social acceptance and success and it is so wrong
Thinking back, I was always on the large side, and my parents were both large (and we've all yo-yoed all our lives, as has my sister) but I was "the brainy one" and my sister was "the pretty one" iykwim - I wonder if that led to me caring more about "brain" and my academic successes, or lack thereof, whereas my sister has many more hang-ups over her weight than I do.
This is fascinating sad geeky nerdy type I have known myself get really upset over exam marks and academic results and things throughout my life and thinking about it, it could easily be exactly the same feelings that other people are having about aspects of their physical appearance, just directed differently.
I wonder if we all have our "achilles heel" so to speak, but it varies from person to person - well, woman to woman even.

WrongendoftheSTIX · 08/08/2013 23:29

Yes, but that is because I am. I need to lose at least 3 stone and I've already lost 12lb Sad such a mammoth task and yet it crept on so easily!

cece · 08/08/2013 23:30

I am a size 14/16 and have a bmi of 28. Technically I am fat but no I don't feel it. In fact people tell me how slim I am looking!

ThoughtsPlease · 08/08/2013 23:31

I think that I know what you mean OP.

I know that I am not fat, I am a size 6, 5ft 5 and weigh around 7 and a half stone.

However because I am tiny, my frame is very small, for example my hands and wrists are very tiny, I can feel extra weight around my thighs if I weigh anymore. I have meat on me, I am not stick thin, but I am small IYSWIM.

By the end of all my 3 pregnancies I have to say I felt so uncomfortable. I didn't even put on much weight, but I am obviously just not meant to be any bigger.

And as the OP said I wouldn't want to say this to anyone in RL as they would probably think that I was ridiculous!

SwedishEdith · 08/08/2013 23:31

I suspect I'm a TOFI - Thin Outside, Fat Inside (watching tv atm).

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 08/08/2013 23:31

oops ouryve I missed the ' not " Grin
Although I have a 4'6" chest... Grin (or I do when they're well hoiked, when they are dangling free they just give me a 4' measurement round my knee caps Grin)

mcmooncup · 08/08/2013 23:33

I have changed my language from healthy/unhealthy. Never use fat/thin.

If I'm not exercising and eating crap, I feel unhealthy and vv.

I feel healthy atm.

Pinupgirl · 08/08/2013 23:33

Yes I have always felt fat. Even when I wasn't. This is because I have a mother who had told me from the age of 14 that I would be lovely if I just lost a bit of weight.

Seriously my mum thinks anyone over a size 10 is obese and had a tummy tuck that nearly killed her as she was so obsessed with weight!

I really regret beating myself up when I was younger when actually I had an amazing figure-think glamour model proportions!

Now I am a bit fat-5'6,size 16-have'nt weighed myself in years. But I no longer care. Im attractive and secure in myself.

snotfunny · 08/08/2013 23:35

I know just what you mean, Pombear, except that as the middle of 3, my brother was the brains, my sister was the pretty one and I was the 'nice' one. Pah! Horrible labels.

My insecurities, then, are all about never being good enough at anything to stand out and, yes, not being thin enough to be acceptable.

And I really wish I could go back and slap my younger self around the chops for being so self absorbed - because now that's what I've decided all that obsessing was. The truth is that even if you are carrying a few pounds extra, people are worrying more about themselves and how they look to the outside world that they probably don't waste any time worrying about me and my podgy ankles (or whatever I had decided was 'wrong' with me.

BinksToEnlightenment · 08/08/2013 23:37

I also know how you feel, op. It's not something you should just 'get over', but it is important to have some perspective on how big you actually are compared to how big you feel you are. You're a normal, healthy size and you don't need to lose any weight.

But I do often feel the same as you, so totally understand.

snotfunny · 08/08/2013 23:44

I actually think this is a good thread to refer people to when they say things like: 'men are beginning to worry about their weight as much as women do.'

Er...no. Because men worry when they get a bit of a gut and maybe decide to do something about it. They may go to the gym and tone up if they feel a bit big. Yes. Men do feel pressure to be slim.

But a massive 'however': they don't tend to blame things that go wrong in their lives on their weight. They don't worry about 'looking fat' unless they are actually..er..fat. So many women on this thread do worry about that.

It's also as though women are saying 'I'm a healthy weight, but I'm worried that I look fat to others.'

Why is that such a problem?

Because bring fat is an outward sign of failure, of being unattractive, lazy and lacking in will power. Fat people are stupid and they smell. All messages we are given as women. So really, when women are worrying about looking fat when they know they aren't, maybe they are actually worried about being perceived negatively in ANY way. Just a thought.

Silverfoxballs · 08/08/2013 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OttilieKnackered · 09/08/2013 00:09

I consider myself fat because I am definitely now fat. I'm 5'2" and around 11 stone. I think in the upper echelons of 'overweight'. I've been as thin as 8 stone and was happiest around nine. I have broad shoulders and hips and huge feet. I don't think my bare skeleton would fit into a size eight. I think I have a fairly healthy perception of my weight as when I was slim I felt slim and now I'm fat I feel fat. Just started trying to do something about it.

Xihha · 09/08/2013 00:14

Some men really do worry about being fat just as much as women do, difference is they don't tend to mention it because people judge men for thinking it or laugh at them, DH is very underweight but has put a little bit of weight on since we've been together and he has often commented about feeling fat and worthless, and struggles massively with confidence because of it, yet he doesn't seem to think I'm fat which is odd as I only have to look at food and I put weight on and have never been skinny (its taken me a lot of work to get down to a size 18)

ladygoingGaga · 09/08/2013 00:20

I know exactly what you mean OP. I'm a size 10, but all I see is my 'fat' tummy and huge legs. I have a daily battle in my head with myself, telling me to relax and not be so bloody stupid.
It doesn't work, I feel guilty when I eat junk food, and over exercise to compensate, I know I'm doing it, yet can't stop.
Why?? I have no idea, wish I did.

WandaDoff · 09/08/2013 00:35

I think I'm fat, but thats because I am fat.

I worry about it far less now than I did when I was a size 8 teenager. I fretted that I looked fat all the time, when I plainly wasn't.

LazyMonkeyButler · 09/08/2013 00:45

I also know I'm fat, rather than thinking it.

I'm not happy with the situation but I am well and truly stuck in a rut with food/eating habits.

AHandfulOfDust · 09/08/2013 00:46

I feel fat, I'm 5' 8", a size 8-10, I see women who are much bigger than me who look tons better, THEY HAVE A BETTER FIGURE.

It's shape, not weight.

mummymacbeth · 09/08/2013 00:49

haven't read the whole thread but come off it OP?? Fat you ain't. Mintyy I concur Smile

AHandfulOfDust · 09/08/2013 00:49

I'm broad shouldered, long & lithe of leg, small great tits.

My stomach is a mess.